Caged Birds Don't Like to Sing

I felt something hit my head. I assumed it was the corner of whatever it was because it felt like it had pierced my skin. It bounced off and silently hit the pillow beside me. I moaned and fluttered my eyes open. I stared blankly at the ceiling above me with my arms and legs spread out. I watched the miniature sized fan spin around above me as I debated moving.

“It’s been two weeks,” Jackson casually spoke from across the room. I moved my eyes in his direction to see where he was. He was relaxed in the love seat over in the corner. “They had a little pharmaceutical shop on board.”

I immediately knew what he was talking about and understood where he was going with this. I moved my hand and felt around where the box had landed. I took it in my grasp and held it in front of my face. The little white and blue box read ‘Clearblue’ on the front. I started to opening the package by digging my fingernails under the seem.

“You do know how to use that, right?” I heard Jackson say as I pushed from the bed and passed him in the room. He turned his body in the chair to face me as I moved.

I tossed the box on the floor as I tiredly walked into the bathroom, keeping the little package between my fingers. Before I closed the door, I assumed, “Don’t I just pee on it?”

“I don’t know! How would I know?” Jackson frantically nagged. I watched him pick up the box and read the back.

“I’m just going to pee on it,” I grunted, closing the door and locking it. I leaned against the door for a minute and closed my eyes. I was exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. If that’ was even possible. I felt like I was back in school and trying to drag myself to the bathroom to get ready. I could feel all the stress pounding at my head. I heard Jackson walking to the door, so I pushed myself off of it and walked over to the toilet.

I pulled down my pants and sat on the toilet. I fidgeted with the wrapping until I finally peeled it off. I crumpled it up in one hand and tossed it. I had aimed for the trash can, but it missed and floated to the ground beside my foot.

“You know, it says--” Jackson called from behind the door and knocking on it lightly.

“I’m already peeing on it,” I silenced. Jackson was already being a worry-wart. I couldn’t imagine what would happen with the baby if I was in fact pregnant.

As I heard the footsteps walk away, he was grumbling little things under his breath. The only thing that was directly said to me was, “I was just trying to help.”

I was incredibly indifferent about the situation at hand. It shocked me, really. Usually I, being my paranoid and neurotic self, would be panicking and praying to every single god out there that I wasn’t pregnant. Because if I was pregnant, Jackson and I would have another huge deal on hand. And I already know he was definitely against an abortion. It would just cause another fight between us during our cruise. If I was pregnant, maybe I could lie about it until we got home. Probably not the brightest idea, but, it could help. Alternative plans seemed reliable at this point.

“How’s it going in there?” he worryingly fussed. I could imagine him pacing outside of the door. Ah, he already has that worried father instinct.

I rolled my sleepy eyes. “I’m coughing up blood and dying in here,” I said in a monotone, but sarcastic, voice.

“Can’t you take anything seriously?” he snapped. I kind of felt bad for him. He didn’t know if his wife was pregnant or not and was just anxious to know what was going on. He was incredibly stressed out. That was why I still hoped that I wasn’t pregnant. Not for the fact that it’d be awful if I was pregnant, but it’d be an even worse ordeal for Jackson and I to pass.

“Hey, be nice. We’re on vacation!” I warned, placing the test onto the counter.

I slid up my pants and closed the lid to the toilet. Patiently, I sat down on the lid and cupped my face in my hands. I watched the test intently. I felt like I was in Juno or something. I still felt too young to consider even the thought a child of my own.

“Can I just come in?” he said in a more begging tone. I could hear a little thud as he leaned against the door.

“No,” I curtly stated. After all this junk was over, I was going right back to bed. Pregnant or not.

I stared over the digital test for a few more seconds until something popped up. I leaned over a little higher to make sure I was reading it correctly.

“Not pregnant,” I read in a small whisper to myself. I took a small breath of relief.

“What?” Jackson called, thinking I was talking to him.

“I’m not pregnant!” I repeated, louder this time. I was smiling broadly.

After a short second, he suspiciously asked, “Are you lying?”

I walked over and opened the door. He kind of stumbled over since he was leaning against it. He turned around. I held out the pregnancy test. “Not. Pregnant,” I said slowly. Then quickly, I sang, “Not pregnant,” I cheered and tossed it back behind me. Thankfully, I made that one into the trash.

Jackson’s facial expression changed from nervous to relieved. I threw my arms around him and he hugged me back.

“Well at least that’s over with,” Jackson exclaimed, letting go of me.

“Seriously!” I said, walking past him and plopping down in the bed. I tossed the covers high over my head.

“You’re going back to bed?” Jackson asked.

I peeked up from the bed and he was leaned against the wall. “Aren’t you?”

“No. It’s like nine.”

I groaned. “Too early.” He shook his head with a little smirk.

“Come back to bed,” I said, rolling over and pulling back the blankets. I patted the mattress with a small smile on my lips.

He thought about it for a bit. Then he uncrossed his arms and walked over. Once he was beside me, I hung my arm around his body and snuggled up close to him.

“See? We can just show up to the dinner tonight,” I murmured with my face pressed up against his chest.

I could feel his fingers playing around in my hair. His fingertips massaged the back of my skull gently. I started to drift off immediately.

There was a vibration. I peeked my head up and over Jackson. On the ground was my phone and it was shaking all around. I glared at it, debating on whether or not to answer. “Didn’t I say no one would call me?” I asked. It was more of a rhetorical question because Jackson didn’t say anything back.

I reached over him and pulled it up. Being the ignorant person I am, I answered the phone without checking the caller I.D. The noise mixed with my movement must have woken him up to because out of the corner of my eye I could see him moving around.

“Hello?” I answered, lolling over onto my back. The arch in my spine was across Jackson’s abdomen and my head was almost off the bed. My hair dangled off the edge.

“Marissa, where are you?” I recognized the frantic and bitter voice on the other line.

“Mom?” I asked in a startled voice. Right when I said that, I shot up from laying down. Unfortunately Jackson had done the same a second as I had. My head rammed straight into his. “Ow,” I groaned, falling back in the pillows on the other side.

“You can say that again,” Jackson mumbled, rubbing his forehead.

“What’s going on?” my mom hissed back into the phone.

“Oh, nothing,” I covered up. “I just... stubbed my toe.”

“Where are you? I’m at your house and no one is answering,” she repeated, more angry this time.

“I’m out on a cruise,” I confessed. I ran my fingers through my hair.

“A cruise?” she exclaimed. I pulled the phone from my ear and winced at the loud, high pitch voice. “Why on earth are you on a cruise?”

“For our honeymoon. I know you got us plane tickets, but we thought this would be better. We thought we could just return them or something,” I hastened to say.

“Return them?” she screeched louder.

I glared at Jackson and pressed the phone to my chest briefly. I whisper-yelled, “I thought you already told them like you were suppose to!”

He innocently shrugged. I scowled at him and pressed the phone back to my head.

“Yeah. I mean, we could just get the money in refund,” I muttered, starting to get angry again.

“That is our money, not yours. We got you those tickets as a gift. You better be grateful. And by grateful I mean get your asses off of that ship and get on a plane.”

“No,” I firmly stated. “Just give us the money.”

“What has gotten into you?” she was screaming at this point. I could literally hold the phone out in front of me and both Jackson and I would be able to hear it. “I bet it was Monroe. I told your father that we shouldn’t have given up so much. He’s an awful husband and father figure.”

Jackson pursed his lips. He could hear everything she was saying about him. He snatched the phone from me. “Hey, Monroe speaking,” he spat. “Just so you know. Marissa and I are perfectly happy. You’re the only bad influence on her.”

I smiled at what he was saying and took the phone back before she could say anything. “Yeah, who sells their own kid anyway? I think it would be you who is the horrible mother figure.”

I clicked the phone so it’d hang up. Jackson and I looked to each other, frazzled, but still smiling. “I don’t think we’re getting the money back.”

He merely shrugged. “We don’t need it.”

I started to lay back down against his body. Our faces barely touched. His nose and lips brushed against my forehead. I started to get a little worried about what I had said to my mother. I knew she could get vengeful at the smallest things, especially to the people she knows the best.

I hesitated before I said, “You don’t think my mom’s too mad about what I said, right?”

Jackson gave me weird look. I leaned back a little so I could look him straight in the face. “Since when have you cared about what your parents felt?”

“I just know my mom likes to get revenge at the drop of a hat,” I mumbled.

“She wouldn’t do that to her own blood,” he consoled. I watched as he shifted in his position and closed his eyes.

“Maybe,” I reluctantly breathed, internally doubting what Jackson had just said.

We laid down in silence for awhile. I had a feeling that I wasn’t going to fall back asleep. My mind was racing over everything. I could barely stand to hold my eyes closed for more than four seconds. I didn’t think Jackson understood what my mom was capable of.

My parents and I went to a nice dinner at our ‘family friend’s’ house. Even though my mom hated the other woman. But my father was friends with the husband and I made a little small talk to their son, Steven Fiske. He seemed more normal compared to his crazy mother. But I wasn’t anything like my mother either.

Well one evening, while we were at the Fiske’s mansion, the six of us crowded around the dining room table. I was at least seventeen, maybe younger, at this point. The butler was just getting around to placing the appetizers out in front of everyone. On accident, a fork slipped off the edge of the plate. A plate that belonged to Steven’s mother. Crazy, old Laurie Fiske. She was kind at heart, but she was a little bit of an airhead. Her blonde locks were always curly and it barely grazed her shoulders. Unlike my mom’s straight hay-like hair. My mom hated anything that she didn’t have, even if she didn’t want it. But she despised Laurie for her lovely looks.

The fork had slipped off the plate as the butler sat it down. My mother was turned and was complaining to me about something idiotic. The fork clipped the side of the wine glass, filled with red wine. It barely nudged the glass. But it nudged it hard enough for it to spill. It splattered all over the white tablecloth and my mom’s new blush colored dress.

My mom held her arms out to her sides and frantically and stood up. She immediately looked to Laurie, who had her hand up in front of her ‘O’ shaped red lips.

“You,” my mother menacingly hissed. She stretched out her finger with a long acrylic nail on it.

Steven and I immediately stood up to try to stop the fight before it started. We knew exactly where it was going. This relationship was already dancing around landmines and working off of pure luck. All it needed was for one little incident to happen and boom, the whole battlefield is taken out.

“Me?” Laurie debated. “I had nothing to do with it!”

“Then I guess the wind just pushed it over,” my mom threw back.

My mom was being completely deranged at this point. She couldn’t grasp the fact that it all happened by accident. She didn’t even want to believe that it was a fork that fell. It always had to be someone’s fault, but never her own.

Moral of the story: My mother is a complete vengeful lunatic. I bet you’re thinking, ‘Wait how is she so vengeful?’ Well you see, my parents knew that family well enough that they had a dog that they loved so dearly. Laurie loved that little, fluffy pooch so much that she’d take it out on the front porch every sunny afternoon while she sipped mimosas.

Unfortunately, that dog had a extremely strong liking to cars and wasn’t very keen. My mother had witnessed before that the dog liked to chase after some bikes and cars that passed. Knowing this, she drove over to the Fiske’s house on a sunny afternoon.

I didn’t understand at first why she was going, all I know is that she was suppose to take me to lunch. But I was tricked. I sat, arms folded, in the passenger’s seat, scowling. I knew she was up to no good.

As she pulled up in front of the house, she rolled down the window. “Hello, Laurie. I just wanted to apologize for the other night.”

Laurie, being the bimbo she is, stood up in her usual polka dotted bikini that she looked stuffed into and said, “Oh, it’s fine, doll. We all get a little angry sometimes.”

“I’m so glad you understand, Laur,” my mom fake grinned, eyeing the approaching dog.

It yapped as it hopped and ran around the car. My mom must have timed it just right. She clicked the car into reverse and slammed onto the pedal. The car jolted back. With one final yap, it was quiet.

“Buster, Buster!” Laurie screamed, running over. Her boobs jiggled like crazy. I don’t understand how someone like that could fit into such a tiny bathing suit.

Before my mom sped off, I hopped out of the car. “Marissa!” she screamed at me as I slammed the door shut.

Tears streamed down my face as I saw the little puppy behind the car. Laurie was crouched down beside it, stroking its lifeless ear. I patted her back. She turned up towards me, blue eyes wet and glistening.

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t me,” I murmured.

She nodded, still crying. “I know.”

“I can’t go back to sleep,” I said, tapping Jackson’s chest.

He opened his eyes. “You just made me get into bed and fall asleep for nothing,” he yawned, sitting up.

I smiled and pecked his cheek. He took my arm and pulled me onto him. I was sitting on my knees and ankles, facing him and straddling his lap. “Let’s go out on a walk around the deck,” I offered happily.

He fell back onto the pillows, causing me to go with him. I was looking straight into his eyes and at his face.

“Are you sure?” he purred, reaching his head up to kiss the hollow of my neck.

I cocked my head to one side as he did so. “Yes. I’m not staying in here all day like yesterday.” I rolled off of him and popped out of bed. I went and searched my suitcase for something to wear. I grabbed some white shorts and a loose top.

I closed the bathroom door behind me and started to change. I brushed my teeth and hair at the same time. As I looked into the mirror, I realized my bruise around my eye was only a faded, subtle mark. I had to squint and lean close in to be able to see it. I poked at it and it didn’t hurt at all.

Once I was done, I came back out of the bathroom. Jackson was already changed. He grabbed his sun glasses and swooped up my hand in his. “Let’s go,” he smiled.

We walked around on the deck for awhile, hand in hand. The weather was much better than it was the day before. Clear, blue skies and light, flowing waves. I peeked over the railing once to see the water more clearly. It was so crystal blue today that you could almost see straight through it. Shadows of fish scurried around.

Jackson and I ended up sitting on two, long beach chairs that had a good view over the horizon. I sipped on my ice water and enjoyed the sunlight.

“Isn’t this great?” I sighed, flipping my sunglasses down and over my eyes.

“Yeah,” Jackson agreed, leaning over his chair to peck my cheek. Right before he made it, his whole chair flipped over.

I started laughing hard and helped him up. “Smooth,” I said between my giggles.

He laughed, too, but rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he played off. I scooted my own chair closer to his and pecked his cheek that time.

“Dinner tonight, right?” I made sure. The idea of food had my mouth watering.

“Right.”