I Can't Believe How Bad You Got Me

Ryan’s getting better. He’s slowly coming off of all of his prescribed medication and pretty soon he’ll be starting his therapy on his ankle. He’ll be back on the bike in no time.

“Ry, what do you want for dinner?” I called out from the kitchen while he chilled out in the living room.

“For you to go home,” he groaned… like he does with everything I ask him.

“Not gonna happen,” I told him and continued to rummage through his cupboards.

“Ky,” he grumbled.

“Do you even go grocery shopping? There’s like nothing in here!” I complained.

“I don’t need to,” he replied.

“Cause Kirstie does it,” I said under my breath.

“She does!” he shouted back.

“Where is she again?” I had to ask.

“At the store! I told you I don’t need you right now,” he was getting an attitude.

“Tell me what you want,” I huffed, getting annoyed with him.

“I want you to go to your house. I don’t need you here,” he bickered with me.

“I can’t leave you by yourself,” I sighed. That… kind of hurt. He doesn’t… need me? Ouch.

“Kirstie’s going to be back in a few minutes. You just… leave,” his was speaking in an angry tone. I haven’t heard this in… a long, long time.

“She doesn’t take care of you like I do though,” I pushed out, speaking softly so that he couldn’t hear me.

After I said that, I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms. Ok, maybe he’s cranky right now, but… he doesn’t need to talk to me that way. I’m his sister. He tells me that he… doesn’t need me. After everything I’ve done for him… and still do.

“Seriously, Ky. Go be with Jake,” he still had a rather snotty tone to his voice.

For the past couple of days, I’ve just felt so sensitive to everything. His tone alone was enough to cause my eyes to sting. Without saying anything, I snatched up my car keys and headed out the door. Once it was closed behind me, I turned to see Kirstie walking up to it with bags in her hands. She smiled at me, obviously not able to see the tears that were threatening to come out.

“How is…”

“You can take care of him,” I muttered as I passed her.

Before she could question, I climbed into my car and backed out of the drive. If he wants me to go be with Jake, then I will. Kirstie can take care of him… and all of his racing obligations. If he doesn’t need me, then I don’t need him for anything!

When I got home, I walked through the house until I was in Jake and I’s room. I curled up on his side of the bed, taking in his scent that did a little to calm me down. Only after a few minutes of being here alone, I heard his truck pull into the drive. Before he could find me, I tried to dry my tears so he couldn’t tell what was happening.

“Babe?” he asked as he opened the door.

I just laid still. If I talked, I knew that it would probably come out cracky and that’s not what I needed him to hear right now. Without saying anything else, he gently climbed onto the bed with me. My back was to him so he couldn’t see me closing my eyes quickly to give the impression that I was sleeping. Once he was close enough though, he hooked his arms around my middle and pressed his lips against the back of my exposed neck softly. Usually, I would let out a happy sigh, but this time I stayed quiet.

“Love you,” he whispered and then planted his lips to the funnel of my ear.

Just that little action made me smile. That’s why he’s my husband. Even when I’m super sad, he finds a way to make me so happy. At least he needs me!