I've Had It With This Game

“MIKE! TONY! VIC! JAIME!” I shout, running towards all my mexibros. I flop down on the couch, on Jaime's lap. Jaime smiles. Apparently he has a crush on me, as Alex and Vic have informed me many a time.

I see Zack casually walking onto the bus in his white t-shirt and black skinny jeans. Fuck. He looks hot.

I haven't dated anyone in such a long time. And being bi isn't something I announce. Fans would ship me with everyone they could think of, Vic, Patrick, even Oli. I mean, it'd get out of hand. I'm basically still the embarrassed 15 year old I used to be about it.

“Hey, Zacky!” Vic shouts, waving his arms, almost slapping me in the face.

“Hey, Vic.” Zack says. Alex laughs, who's sitting at the table with Tony. They're playing cards. Alex catches my eye and winks at me, probably trying to get me to hook up with Jaime.

Zack flops down on the couch, in between Vic and Jaime, me still on his lap. I wrap my arms around Jaime's neck, shoving my face into his neck.

Jaime wraps his arms around me and I smile. This is nice. Real contact with someone who cares, not someone who just wants a friendly fuck. Cough cough, Zack, cough cough.

“Get a room, guys.” Zack mutters. I pick up my head and turn to him.

“What was that, Merrick?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. Zack turns to me.

“Nothing.”

“No, say it.”

“Get a fucking room, guys.” Zack says, angrier. All chatter stops. Even the sound of Alex humming King For A Day, just to piss Vic off and for Lex to say “It's your fault for writing such a catchy song!”

“Merrick, calm down, they weren't even doing anything.” Tony says, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever.” Zack sighs.

“C'mon, Jai, let's go for a walk.” I say a shortened version of his name that sounds like “hi”.

“M'kay.” I get up and hold out my hand, Jai taking it. He leads the way off the bus and I turn around and look at Zack before I step outside with one sexy Mexican. Sexican?

He shakes his head like he's disappointed. But he's not looking at me, he doesn't see me. Could he be upset with himself?

I step off the bus and into whatever cold aired city we're in.

“Such crummy weather.” I say, pulling the sleeves of my own JAGK it's all good in the hood(ie) over my wrists, hiding the scars everybody already knows about anyways.

I'm not hiding them right now, I'm just cold.

Zack was actually the first one to see them. I hadn't had to hid them as much, my parents never really being home, so I wasn't paying attention. This was back in high school.

Zack was hanging out with me in my room and I was waving my arms above my head, dancing around to The Rock Show by Blink.

“I COULDN'T WAIT FOR THE SUMMER AT WARPED TOUR!” I sang along with Tom.

“Jack, what's on your arm?” Zack asked. I looked up at my arms which were above my head. White scars and newly formed red cuts were on my arm.

“Nothing.” I said, quickly bringing my arms down, crossing them across my chest. I sat down on my bed and tried to control my breathing.

“Let me see, Jack.”

“No.” I said in between shaky breaths.

Zack pried my arm away from my body. He looked at them, then at me, and brought his head down, softly pressing his lips to my skin.

That was when I knew I was bi. But that's beside the point.

And the past two times we've fucked, he's kissed them.

“Yeah. Where are we?”

“I wanna say Seattle? I don't know.” I say, snapping out of my flashback.

“So what's up with Zack?” Jai asks. I shrug and kick a pine cone.

“I don't know. Maybe he's on his period.” We both laugh.

“Alright. Um... So Alex told us your show for tomorrow was canceled. Do you, um, maybe wanna go see a movie?”

“Sure, Jai. That'd be awesome.” I say, smiling at him, taking my attention away from the pine cone I've crushed at this point.

“Awesome, I'll just come by sometime in the morning?” He asks, smiling that adorable Jaime smile.

“Okay. I'm gonna go to bed, tell the guys for me.” I say. I kiss Jaime on the cheek and run back to the bus like a teenage girl who can't wait to write in her diary after meeting us. I laugh at my own analogy. Good one, Jack.

I run to my bunk. I'm actually really fucking tired from earlier with Zack.

I crawl under my amazingly soft Adventure Time sheets, not even bothering to change out of my skinny jeans.

I hear the door to the bus open and close, someone walking inside.

I roll over onto my side. It's probably just Alex.

But I feel someone crawling into my bunk, next to me. I start to get scared that it's some strange fan.

No, a fan would be squealing and freaking out.

I look over my shoulder and see Zack. He puts his arm over my chest, spooning me.

“Go away.” I mutter into my pillow.

“No. I'm sorry I got mad.”

“Go away.” I repeat. I can feel Zack nod but besides that he doesn't move or leave. And I'm happy because I'd be sad if he did.

I turn over, so I'm facing him and under the covers I can feel him rolling up my hoodie sleeve, resting his hand on my scars. I smile, half asleep.

He makes me feel beautiful sometimes.

“Night, skunky.” he whispers.

And we fall asleep like that.

And we get woken up by Alex shouting “I SHIP IT!”

Fuuuuuck.