I've Had It With This Game

I must've drifted off to sleep because when I open my eyes I'm curled up in a ball, my head on top of Zack's chest and his arm is around my curled up body, him pressing me closer.

“Mmm... Jack...” he moans. I look up at him. Ohmigod, is he having a sex dream about me? No way. This is too good.

I uncurl from the ball my limbs are situated in and put my hands under his shirt, on his abs, rubbing them softly.

“Jack...” he says again. I hold in a gasp. This is too fucking hot. I lean over and kiss his neck, right under his jaw. His eyes slightly flutter open and he moves his arms to rub his eyes. I slide my hands out of his shirt. That didn't last very long. I sigh.

“Oh hey. I hope you don't mind. You looked like you could use a cuddle.” Zee says, half smiling. He's blushing.

“Not at all. So, Zacky, did you have any dreams?” I ask, holding in a smile. I try and keep a straight face. Zack, on the other hand, is blushing like crazy.

“Nothing.” he mutters, sitting up.

“So you don't remember?”

“Nope.”

“I'm pretty sure you said my name a few times.”

“You're crazy.” he says, shaking his head.

“Your boner says differently.”

“Fuck!”

“Oh, come on, Zack, it was pretty hot.”

“Shut up. I don't want to talk about it. You and me are just buddies.”

“Yeah, fuck buddies.” I mutter below my breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” I say, looking at him. I'm pissed. I want to be more than that. I want... I just fucking want Zack. I want him and nothing else.

“Tell me, Barakat!” he basically yells.

“Fuck you.” I whisper. Zack looks like he wants to kill me.

“No, fuck you! I saved you from Jaime and you can't even say thanks? Fuck you. This is why he left. Because you say you want one thing and then fuck with everyone's emotions. Mine included! Stop doing this!” He pushes past me and crawls out of my bunk. I don't understand. He's the one toying with emotions! Mine!

I shake it off, trying not to cry, and crawl out of my bunk. Alex and Rian are standing outside, awkwardly.

“Jack... It's not you, Zack's being a fucking idiot. He loves you.” Alex says.

“No. He obviously doesn't. And he's gonna pay for it.” I say. I know exactly what to do.

****

The screams of the crowd are ridiculously loud but all I can hear is my heartbeat, th-thump, th-thump, th-thump.

I'm staring at Zack as we play Outlines. He looks so intense. I walk over to him and as the song ends I lean in to his ear.

“Fuck, you look good.” I lean back out. I hear a chorus of “MERRIKAT!”'s and laugh. If only they knew.

“How are you, Portland?!” Alex shouts at the fans.

A ripple of screams ensues.

“Well tonight, we have a very special song I'm dedicating to my best friend, Jack, because of his weird ass love life as of tonight!

“This is- FORGET ABOUT IT!” Alex screams the name of the song. Forget About It was not on the setlist. Fuck. Really, Alex?

“You, are a handful of roses, thorns in a cheap bouquet. True, I'm a walking disaster, they told you to stay away.” Alex sings. I try to focus on playing but I keep getting lost in the words. I've heard this song so many times, but there's something about it this time.

I'm the walking disaster. Of course Alex isn't being mean, he's just saying that Zack's a “handful of roses, thorns in a cheap bouquet.” I put on a fake smile as I think about this.

I stare into the crowd for a minute and see a girl raise her t-shirt. I laugh and give her a real smile. She was actually pretty.

I turn back and look at Zack. He looks pissed. He looks like he's going to murder Alex later. I think Alex is just trying to get Zack to realize what he's doing to me. But I don't know. Maybe Alex is feeling suicidal, because Zack keeps getting more and more pissed off as the song goes on. I walk over to Rian once the song ends, the crowd errupting.

“He shouldn't have done that.” I whisper. Ri nods.

“Just a few more songs, 'kay, Jack?” Ri says. I half-smile and turn back around.

“WHAT SHOULD WE PLAY NEXT?” Alex screams, smiling. That doofus is proud of himself. I laugh. It was pretty funny to play Forget About It.

“I GOT IT!” Alex says. He looks at me and mouths “irony”. I sigh and roll my eyes. But then I nod.

This will really get to Zack.

“STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH MY EMOTIONS!” Alex basically shouts into the mic. There's a chorus of screams and the crowd joins in with Alex.

A bra flies up onto stage and I watch as Zack catches it, putting it over his shoulder like he's saving it for later. I fake a smile again. He knows just how to get to me.

He looks up and sees me staring. He smirks.

He must really hate me.