Beg Me to Stay

"You're WHAT?!"

I quickly shrunk back from her exasperated tone, suddenly wishing the cushion of the chair I was in would open up and swallow me whole.

It wasn't like I could change my situation, it was already in existence; therefore, I would just have to accept it. But that didn't mean my mother had to. The expression on her face was undetectable, sort of a mixture between fury and disappointment with a side dish of surprise, and I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't know how to go about making it all right.

I didn't want her to hate me, but the disappointment in her eyes was nearly just as bad.

"I, I'm pregnant, Mom." I stuttered, repeating my sentence from before.

"You don't have a boyfriend, though." She deadpanned. "I don't understand, Anita."

I let a sigh escape through my lips as I eyed her over curiously. "I don't need a boyfriend to get pregnant, Mom. You should know that."

"Don't get smart with me, young lady!" She scolded.

"I can't believe this, Anita." She continued a few minutes later. "Out of all the Rivera girls, I never thought you'd be the one with this sort of news. You were always so careful and overly cautious. What happened, baby girl?" She pulled me into her side and began to rock me like she did when I was younger, whispering words of comfort in my ear as I began to cry in her arms.

She was right. I had always been extremely cautious. I was the girl that thought things over before she did them, who thought before she spoke and had to perfect whatever I was doing before I was satisfied enough to consider it done. The fact that I was pregnant at 24 was not something I was happy with, as it was not expected, nor was it idealistic. But what could I do about it now? I was already in too deep.

It was against my morals in life to get an abortion, and adoption was only one of my options, but it was an unlikely one at that. I couldn't see myself giving up something I helped create to strangers I didn't know. I would get too attached, I was almost sure of it.

"Does the father know?" She murmured after the both of us had calmed down.

"Not yet," I admitted, sheepishly.

She pulled away from our embrace with a quiet gasp, clutching my face in her palms so she could look into my eyes. "Oh Dios mio! You do know who the father is, don't you, niña?"

"Of course I do,"

How could I forget? He was tall, extremely so, with tattoos galore and a big enough ego to share it with the whole United States Army if he wanted to. No, I'd never forget that man. The man who was only supposed to be a quick fling while he was in town on business, but turned out to be so much more. No, that man would forever be etched into my brain.

"Well, who is he?" She wondered aloud, much like any curious mother would. "And when do you plan on telling him?"

"I plan on flying out to see him Friday," I murmured, trying my hardest to avoid saying his name. My mother would not be happy if I did. "That way it'll be in person, instead of over the phone."



"Hey. How'd it go?"

"It went pretty well, actually. My mom didn't take it near as bad as I thought she would. She was still upset, but she was far more supportive than I expected her to be." I murmured into the receiver. "The rest of my family won't be a problem, but I'm extremely worried about this weekend to be honest with you."

"I'm gonna be right there with you, babe, if anything happens."

"I know you will," I sighed. "I'm just scared to see his reaction. We weren't supposed to be anything more than a short fling, and now something like this happens, and I'm scared he's gonna be pissed at me!"

"Well, if he should be pissed at anyone, it should be his self. Half of the baby's chromosomes are gonna be from him, you know." Kat stated honestly into the receiver. "If he does get mad, I have faith that you'll put him in his place. And if you don't, I most certainly will!"

Katarina Hernandez was a spitfire with a forked tongue. Her words were brutal in the most honest and sincere of ways, coming in the form of her honest to God opinion and feeling like a slap in the face more times than not, once they were out in the open. She had her nice moments, especially after you learned to ignore her brutal honesty, but all-in-all, she was a good person -- and an even better friend, too. She was my best friend, but right now, she was miles away from me and on tour with her boyfriend's band while I was here in California having a mental freak-out.

The only guy that could possibly be the father of the growing life inside of me just so happened to be on the same tour as Kat and her boyfriend. In fact, he was in the same band as Kat's boyfriend; that's how Kat knew who he was, and why she claimed she had my back.

It was just the kind of friend she was; if you needed her she had your back no matter what, which is another feature of hers that we all loved about her.

"Thank you," I whispered to her, quietly. "I appreciate all your help, Kat. You don't know how happy I am to know I have your support in all of this. It's honestly a little surreal for me. I still can't fathom the fact that the doctor told me I was expecting a baby. . . "

"You're my best friend, Anita. Of course you have my support. I wouldn't be a good friend if all I did was judge you. I mean, shit happens."

Once again, Katarina was right. Shit does happen; it happens a lot. And it just so happened to come at me this time in the most unexpected of ways. I would be a mom in less than nine months, and though it was quite a shock to my system, I couldn't change that. I couldn't change who the father was, either, no matter how much I wish I could.



"Thank you," I told the cab driver, handing him a twenty dollar bill as we pulled up to the address I had given him back when we were at the airport.

"You have a good day, ma'am." As soon as I was out of the vehicle and had all my stuff with me, the cab driver saluted me with a friendly goodbye and drove off in a hurry, leaving me to look a mess in the parking lot of Enterprise.

It was another thirty minutes before I was driving off in the rental car they gave me, a relatively new navy blue Chevy Cruze that I absolutely loved. The traffic to the venue wasn't that bad, so I got there in no time with a little help from the car's navigation system and found myself sitting in the parking lot before I knew it, waiting for Kat to answer her phone.

"¡Hola chica!" She greeted, answering her phone after the fourth ring with her Mexican accent coming through rather strongly. I could hear the sounds of the concert going on around her in the background.

"Hey," I replied back, laughing at her enthusiasm. "I'm in the parking lot."

"Great! The guys are in the middle of their show, so your timing is perfect!"

She quickly gave me instructions on where to park the car and told me she'd meet me outside by the back entrance before we hung up. I moved the car where she told me to and locked it up before making my way to the concert building, where I spotted her frame standing by the back door almost immediately. She was dressed in her typical attire of bluejeans shorts with a band tee -- Sleeping With Sirens being the band of choice for tonight -- and a pair of black knee-high converse for shoes. Her dark brown hair was straightened to perfection with her makeup kept simple, consisting of only black eyeliner and mascara.

She was gorgeous -- always has been, though -- with naturally tan skin due to her Mexican heritage and dark brown eyes that could stare right through you. She was ultimately my best friend, but there were days that I envied her for being so perfect when all I did was screw things up!

She gave me a big hug before proceeding to drag me into the building, where hearing her became a challenge and thinking became a privilege. She thought it was best to head to the side stage area and stand where we couldn't be seen by the guys but could still see them play. It was maybe twenty minutes of standing there before the guys bid the Florida crowd adieu and walked off stage.

The first person off stage was Jaime, all soaked in sweat and still reeling from the adrenaline rush of playing for a huge crowd. He nearly wrestled Katarina to the floor, the poor girl, but before they could fall, he had her swept up off her feet and was twirling her around excitedly. Just the sight of them going round and round made me nauseous, and I was forced to look away after only a few seconds.

After he set her down and their worlds stopped spinning, he happened to notice me sitting on one of the amps in the corner and a big smile took over his features. "AJ!" He exclaimed, coming over to pull me into his arms. "Its been forever."

He looked close to having a repeat session of ring around the Rosie, only this time it would be with me and unlike Kat I knew I would definitely upchuck my dinner within seconds due to the extra mouth I had to feed. "Don't you dare pick me up and spin me around, Jaime Preciado!"

"Seriously, baby, don't!" Katarina begged. "You'll just make her throw up."

"Alright, alright!" He surrendered, backing up from me. "I won't!"

Next off the stage was sweet and adorable Tony Perry, who was wearing his signature snap-back and sleeveless tee. I could see his padawan braid sticking out as he walked towards me, causing a smile to take over my face. He was a shy, quiet person for the most part, but once he was comfortable with you, he could be a real talker at times.

"Well, if it isn't Tony Turtle." I exclaimed, causing that adorable smile of his to spread across his face.

"Hey, AJ." He grinned, giving me a big hug. "How are you?"

"I'm good, Tone. What about you?"

"I'm great."

Then, the Fuentes brothers came off stage together, laughing and carrying on about something that happened the other day. It all ceased to exist once the eldest brother noticed my presence next to their band mates. "AJ, hey!" Vic grinned, pulling me in for a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, AJ, what are you doing here?" Mike repeated, raising an eyebrow at me as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Am I not allowed to come see my friends, Michael?"

"Are we missing something?" I heard Jaime whisper, curiously.

"No," I replied to Jaime's question, never taking my eyes away from his drummer. "Michael and I just have some things to discuss, that's all."

An hour later and I found myself alone with the drummer while everyone else was out having drinks at a near-by bar. I still hadn't told him yet, as he had just gotten out of the shower, and my nerves were currently hitting the roof. I had to occupy my mind and my hands with a game on my phone, so neither would get too worked up, but that didn't mean I wasn't noticeably freaking out.

The door to the bathroom opened up in that instance, causing my head to snap in the direction of it. The sight of him standing in the doorway with nothing but a towel around his waist and drops of water cascading down his tattooed chest, made my breath catch in my throat and my hormones go absolutely insane. Of course, I told myself that it was just my pregnancy hormones kicking in and that I didn't really want him in that kind of way, but deep down I knew better than that. I knew that I still had feelings for Mike, even though I wasn't supposed to, and that if he suggested anything of the sort to me, I'd jump at the chance to rip that towel off and have my way with him. But now wasn't the time for such a thing; that's what got us in this situation in the first place, and I didn't need to make matters worse. I was here to talk to him, to tell him I was pregnant, and that was it; nothing more and nothing less.

The way his eyes bore into mine made me want to crumble under the pressure of his gaze, almost like they were filled with a raw fire -- a fury I couldn't explain. It was almost too much for me, so I started to make my way to the door deciding that it was a bad idea to be here. But Mike stopped me the second my hand reached for the doorknob.

"What are you doing?"

I let my hand fall back to my side with a quiet groan. "This was a bad idea, Michael. I shouldn't have come here."

He didn't do anything to console me or assure me of my decision to come here; he just got straight to the point, something that was typical Mikey Whiskey Hands behavior.

"Why did you come, AJ?"

"It's nothing." I murmured, starting to second guess myself for even wanting to tell him. I could raise this baby all on my own. I didn't need him. I didn't need some guy that only wanted a piece of ass in mine or my baby's life. It wasn't worth the hassle. "I should go, so you can catch up with the others and stuff. I'm sorry I disrupted your night."

"Dammit, Anita! There's a reason you came here, so just tell me already! Stop wasting your breath and just say it!"

The words flew out of my mouth in that instance as I stared face to face with my only means of escape -- that off white door that led to the hallway of the 4th floor. "I'm pregnant . . . "

There was a silence between us for several seconds that had me thinking about turning around, but I didn't follow through with it. I just stayed in my spot, facing the door until he finally spoke up.

"What did you say?"

I sighed. "I . . I'm pregnant,"

"Anita, will you look at me?" It took me a few seconds, but I finally gave into his request and turned to face him.

He was a lot closer now, standing only a few feet away from me and staring down at me with furrowed eyebrows. "Can you say it again?"

"I'm pregnant, Michael. You know, with child? Like, there's a growing fetus inside of me. And I'm eating for two now. However you want me to say it is fine, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm gonna be a mother and I have no idea what to do. It doesn't change the fact that we were supposed to be responsible adults and use all means of protection to prevent something like this from happening. Dammit, Michael Fuentes, this isn't how things were supposed to turn out. I wasn't supposed to get pregnant until I was happily married and ready for a kid!"

"Shit," He muttered, collapsing onto the edge of the bed with a hand over his mouth. "And you're sure it's mine?"

"No, Fuentes, I have a whole line of possible candidates that could be my baby daddy!" I fell back against the wall behind me, covering my face with my hands. "You're the only guy I've slept with in the last few months. It couldn't be anyone else."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to keep it." I insisted, positive in my decision. "I couldn't terminate a life, and I could never give it up, either. I would only worry myself to death."

"Do you want me to be there?" He wondered. "In its life, I mean."

"Only if you want to be." I responded, honestly. "I'm not going to pressure you or beg you, or anything like that. And I'm not going to take you to court. I came here to let you know that I'm pregnant, so you wouldn't come home from tour and find out from someone else. I want nothing from you, Mike, not even a relationship. In fact, you can continue on after this and act like we never happened if you want to."

"What do we tell the others?" He murmured, completely side-stepping all that I just said.

"Tell them whatever you want to tell them." I shrugged. "Or don't tell them at all. It's up to you."