Streak of Black

I wake up on the floor with Ryder banging on the locked door, aggravated. I jump up and swing it open.

"I have to talk to everyone. Now!"

He looks me over and nods. He knows me, and he knows that face. He knows that something important happened. I just wish it hadn't.
* * * * *
Everyone crowds into Lunette's family room. I stand alone in front of them all, thinking about how symbolic it really is. This is just like when I had to tell my Pack about Monique in the first place. I sigh, jealous. They're so lucky to be ignorant.

"So, last night, I...I demanded answers...of Monique...and I got them," I start off, wishing that I didn't have to do this. I want to go back to just being normal, just being the little sister of a way too overprotective brother and a well-liked, regular member of the Pack. "Damien's father is still in France, and we will meet again."

"Do you know when?" Louna asks, excited.

I sigh and shake my head. "She can't reveal where or when. All I know is that many of the men who fled deserted. Those who stayed are pissed that he abandoned them, but none of them will kill him."

"Do you know who will?" Kenley asks. "Will he die?"

"One of us will kill him, but it will be one in the family." I close my eyes and repeat Monique's exact words. "'An eye for an eye—a life for a life.'"

"What?" Rudi voices everyone's confusion.

"She said it to me when we went to battle him. I asked her then whether we were supposed to fight him then or wait. She said it didn't matter. And then she told me that. I asked her when we were talking last night if he any of us would be killed in battle, and she said yes. When I asked if there was any way to avoid it, she said that again."

"One of us will have to die in order to kill him." Lovett's face is blank.

I bite my lip and nod. "And it will again be one from our family. I don't know when or where we'll fight him, but there will be another battle. She told me that he will die dishonorably, looking up at the face of the thing he hates most. Obviously, it will be a wolf."

"So he'll die at the full moon?" Zeeva tries to catch onto my train of thought.

"I thought of that, but now I'm not so sure. We're all so much stronger when we're wolves. It makes no sense to seek us out when we have the upper hand." I look at Lovett. "I think it will be one of us."

"But—" My brother is confused.

"The Wise Woman's prediction." Lunette gapes at me.

"Precisely." I don't even realize that I copy the exact word that Monique used last night in the exact same tone. I briefly think back to what she said about our mannerisms merging and shudder, immediately deciding not to tell anyone about that bit. "I was thinking that maybe if we could figure that out, we can help give our team the upper hand."

Lovett starts to smirk at me, impressed, but his brief moment of pride is shattered.

"So you guys would be the only one with special protection. Again." Rudi's voice, filled with venom and attitude, pulls us back to the situation at hand.

"Rudi, we wouldn't be doing it for us. We'd be—"

She cuts me off, holding up her hand. "I don't want to hear it. You guys would yet again get to swoop in and play hero. Save the day while one of the members of your Pack—of your family—dies. What if it's Nox or Louna or your brother? You wouldn't be so smug about your powers then, would you, Louve?"

I sigh, rubbing my hands up and down the sides of my face. "Rudi, I'm not smug about my so-called powers. They're a curse. All of this is. I know that you've all probably noticed me being weird lately. I was afraid that…I was the one who brought the pain and torture onto us. I thought Death was following me."

Ryder looks pained to see me so down. "Louve that's not true. You said it yourself. None of this is your fault."

I look at him with a crazed expression on my face, trying not to cry. "That's the thing, Ryder. It is my fault. It isn't that Death follows me—it's that I follow Death." I'm met with blank stares and I monotonously explain. "I don't realize it, at least not always, but I'm apparently fighting this thing, this Voice, every day, subconsciously. While it may help me in some cases, she explained that the daily battle that I've been waging with her is what drains and depresses me. It's why one day everything is okay and the next I don't want to be around people. It's because of her."

"Is there any way to stop it? Any way to get rid of her?" Ryder's voice is desperate. He's genuinely scared for me and my sanity.

A tear escapes my eye. "She told me that her being tied to me makes me a servant of Death. She said that he leads me through life, and her being there is what seals the deal. I am his eternal slave." I close my eyes again and recall her words. "'The only way to free yourself is to tear away the thing that ties you to your fate. The only way to take that piece of you away is to grant Death a piece of your soul. But without even that fragment, you will forever be a slave to the darkness.' She said that to me. It means that the only way that I could get rid of her is to part with a piece of my soul and give that fragment to Death. However, once I do that, I'll no longer be me. I'd be a true slave to evil and darkness." I wrap my arms around myself, ashamed to have to admit any of this.

"There's no other way?" Ryder wants to exhaust all options. He doesn't want to lose me.

"There's one other way. There are two minds in this world that can hold her. The only other way to kill her would be to kill one of those two people with her in them. Anyone else and she'd just jump back to my head. Or Lovett's."

"No, Louve." Ryder's voice is thick. No one else can say anything. But he so recently got me—all of me—he's afraid to lose me for good. Unfortunately, he will.

"There are three options here. I make a deal with Death and give him part of my soul, making me even worse than Monique, Lovett or I commit suicide while she's inside of one of our heads..." I bite my lip, wishing that the last option wasn't the only sane one. "Or…or I leave forever after all of this is done so that I can't hurt any of you again."

"There has to be another way. She was lying. She was keeping something from you! Anything!" Ryder's hands are trembling to keep from crying, and his voice is thick.

"She cannot lie to me. She just…she can't. It's hard to explain, but I could just see it on her face when she told me."

"Her...face?" Louna's face is filled with confusion, momentarily losing its pain at the thought of my eternal suffering.

I sigh, drained from this conversation. "I went into my head. It's this thing that's happened a couple times with her. It's like…I go to this cavern-thing where she and I talk. I went into it and spoke to her directly. She cannot lie to me. It made her angry to tell me that—I could tell."

Now everyone's curious. "What does she look like?" Kenley asks warily.

I'm exhausted again. I don't want to talk about this. "Honestly? She looks like she could be my twin. The only difference is black hair and a face that will never drop its expression of annoyance with the world."

No one else asks anything. I really don't give them the chance. After a few moments of awkward silence and glancing around, I turn on my heel and leave. Ryder hops up and follows me out of the room. I don't know where I'm going. I need to get out of here. I just need to think for a while.

Outside, Ryder closes the door gently and continues following me. I'm headed for the forest behind my aunt’s house. I finally twirl around at the edge of the woods. "Ryder, please. I'm begging you. Leave me alone for a little while. I need to think." I refuse to look up at his face. I focus on his chest. The pain coming through the Bond is bad enough. Of all the times to shield his emotions, this is definitely one of them.

"Louve," he says, still fighting the tears. "Look at me." I refuse, and he grabs my face roughly in both of his hands, forcing it up, not for a kiss but to see the pain mixed with the love that wars across his features. "Now I just got you. You're finally letting me back in completely. Don't shut me out again. Don't lie to me anymore and don't try to avoid me. I love you, and I want to be with you. I don't care what this voice thing says!"

"But Ryder, I do! I told you once, back when we first got together, we're never safe, and I meant it. I meant it in more ways than one. Death leads my path, he leads my life. I'm his eternal slave. That means something. This curse thing is not something to be taken lightly. I refuse to be responsible for Death taking you from this world."

"But there's no point living in this world if you aren't there. Do you not realize the situation I was in before that bite? You saw how bad I was back in Pennsylvania—and that was just from seeing Kain. Imagine how bad I must have been before I met you. I was down a dark path back then—I'd probably have died had you not bitten me that night, whether it be from an overdose or plain and simple suicide. You saved me, Louve. I don't care that this thing is leading you down this path. I don't care about any of this. I want to be there with you and for you through all of it." He gropes for the right words to say next. "You told me that when two Pack mates get together, it's like a done deal for life, right?"

I look away. "Yes, Ryder, it is."

"Well, whatever happened to 'for better or for worse?' What about 'in sickness and in health?'"

"Ryder, this isn't a game! This isn't something that can be gotten rid of easily! I'm dancing with Death here, literally! And I won't let you be part of that!"

"Too late!" He wraps his arms around me before I can make any further arguments and presses his lips hard against mine. It isn't like our usual kisses where it's more passion than anything else. This is angry, all raw emotion—I can feel it.

Still wrapping his arms around me, Ryder walks a little forward so that we're shaded by a few layers of trees from the house. He never once lets up as he lifts me up off the ground, pushing me against a tree and holding me there with only his body. I wrap my legs around his waist so that I'm not just suspended in midair. His lips part from mine for a moment. Both of us are a bit breathless from the force of the unexpected kiss.

"This changes...nothing," I pant.

"You really are stubborn," he replies with frustration lacing his words after a few moments of heavy breathing. And then he moves in again for another angry kiss.

Monique is happy. I can tell.