If I Look Back

Two weeks after meeting Benedict (I’ve decided that I prefer to call him Benedict), Basil and I are going to the theatre to see Frankenstein. I have been at the pub almost every night with Benedict and Basil and I have never been happier. We are always laughing and having a good time.

While we both have poor experiences in our pasts, we have been helping each other move forward without prying. He is encouraging and hopeful and inadvertently reminds me that there are people in the world worth knowing. I support him and try to give him the confidence to take the time for himself before starting to date again. He has big dreams and I can’t wait to see them fulfilled.

I’ve done my hair and makeup and I am wearing one of my favorite dresses. I put thought into my appearance for once and it feels nice. Basil said I that I’m not allowed to go to the Royal Theatre looking like a hobo or a trainer from the gym.

I lock up my front door with the green light and make the short walk to the pub. It’s empty because Basil let everyone know he’d be closing early.

“Basil? Are you ready?” I ask, walking up to the bar. “We should probably get over there soon.” I don’t see him immediately but he pops up from behind the bar. He’s wearing a black suit with a green shirt underneath. There’s no tie and the top few buttons are casually unbuttoned. “We match.” I say and hold up my green clutch bag. He chuckles before throwing the towel down on the bar.

“I’m ready, I just have to grab the keys.” Basil says and quickly goes into the back room to get his things. “Alright,” he calls, reemerging with his coat and the keys for the bar. “Let’s go. I think you’re going to enjoy the performance tonight. And if you don’t, you still look lovely.”

“Why, thank you! You don’t look to shabby yourself.” I reply as he locks up the door.

“Well I think the dress will be appreciated.” He says with a wink. I don’t quite understand what he means so I just smile.

Once inside the theatre, we find our seats and settle in. Benedict gave us really good seats and I am almost sick with excitement. I can’t find a place to focus my attention so I scan the details of the theatre. Eventually, the seats start to fill in.

“I haven’t been to the theatre in so long.” I whisper. But Basil is looking around, scanning the crowd. “Are you looking for someone?”

“No, just people watching.” He chuckles. “I love it when strangers are together in large groups. Their behavior is fascinating.”

“Don’t you get enough of that at the pub?” I ask. He rolls his eyes at me and resumes people watching.

Eventually the lights go down and the show begins.

After the play, I am awestruck and just sit in my seat while others begin to file out. Basil grabs my hand and pulls me towards the entrance to the backstage. I am mobile now but still in a bit of a haze. I get that way after seeing a good movie, or reading a great book. I get the feeling that reality is somehow broken and will never be the same.

“Are we allowed back here?” I ask as we rush through the people, props and costumes.

“Yep,” Basil replies simply and keeps on moving through the people. I just allow myself to be pulled through. It’s crazy back here; there are people everywhere and it just seems like organized chaos.

“There he is! Hey, Ben!” I snap my attention to where Basil is leading. His creature make up is removed but he’s still disheveled. He is wearing simple blue jeans and a careworn button up shirt. His face brightens when he sees us. There are others around, congratulating him. Basil does nothing to slow our momentum and propels me forward into Benedict but Benedict immediately wraps his arms around me, preventing me from falling off of my heels. I know Basil did it on purpose. I scowl at him over my shoulder.

“How did you like it?” he asks eagerly, holding me away from him, looking me in the face but not letting go.

“Brilliant! Completely brilliant.” I reply, a little bit breathlessly. I’m not sure if it’s because of the speed at which I followed Basil, the thrill of the theatre or his hands on my shoulders but I am breathless.

“I’m glad you liked it!” he replies humbly, almost blushing. “Oh, I’m sorry.” He says shamefully. He releases my shoulders, moves his hand to my back and stands beside me before introducing his other friends.

We shake hands and Benedict makes conversation with everyone. After a while, I notice that Benedict’s posture is uncomfortable and fidgety. He looks tired and anxious to leave.

“Well, Benedict, it’s time for that drink I promised you, right?” I wink at him and motion with my eyes towards the exit.

“Right you are.” He answers without missing a beat. He says goodbye to his friends before following us out of the exit door.

I link arms with Basil and Benedict as we walk towards the tube station.

Once back at the pub, we toast to Benedict’s excellent performance despite his modest resistance.

“Well, gentlemen. It is late, I worked all day and I am tired. I will be on my way.” I say after a few more drinks. I grab my coat off the back of my stool and take my clutch off the bar.

“I’ll walk you home.” Benedict states. It is not a question; it is a statement. He has developed this habit. He shrugs on his coat with a bit more difficulty than normal.

Once outside the pub, it becomes clear that both Benedict and myself are drunk. I link arms with him to steady us and he grabs my hand in response. Once we reach my gate, I have a decision to make. I can let him get home on his own, I can drive him home or I can invite him in.

“Benedict,” I start. “Would you like a cup of tea?” His features brighten but I can also see that he’s not entirely sure what to do. But the indecision only lasts for a moment.

“I would love a cup of tea.” He answers with a sleepy smile. I smile in return and lead him towards the flat.