Status: New
If I Look Back
#7
My email inbox hasn’t slowed down all day and I feel like tearing my hair out. We are bombed with submissions, contract renewals, audit procedures and every other item we could possibly be asked to do. No one on the team has really spoken all day except when we had to.
Molly looks frazzled and my beautifully straightened hair has ended up in a messy ponytail. We both managed to kick off our shoes at some point and coffee cups, papers and other odds and ends cover our desks.
Molly is the first to get up out of her seat.
“Come on, Lilly.” she says with exasperation and slugs her purse over her shoulder. “It’s 5:45, let’s get out of here.”
“Let me just get my things.” I reply and start shutting down my computer and tidying my desk space.
We are out of the office by 6:00. The weather has been getting nicer and I’ve been taking the tube to work and walking more. Molly and I walk for at least 20 minutes everyday around lunch time even if we don’t take our full hour break.
We’ve become rather close over the last few months and I truly value her friendship even if we keep it close to the office.
She and I have, however, started going out for a drink (or two) on Friday evenings after work. I know Basil feels slighted by my patronage at other bars in town so tonight I’ve convinced Molly to come out to Basil’s.
When we arrive, Basil is busy with other customers giving Molly and I time to pick a pair of barstools and settle in.
“Well good evening.” Basil says as he approaches. “This must be Molly?” he asks and reaches to shake her hand. “I know what she’s drinking but what can I get for you Molly?”
He converses with Molly politely while she decides what to order.
“Where is Ben these days?” Basil asks when he returns with our drinks. Molly raises a curious eyebrow because she’s heard about Benedict but not in any real context or depth.
“He’s finishing up a film, working with Martin and beginning work on a TV series.” I say quietly and Molly really perks up. I purposely avoid saying ‘Sherlock’ because Molly is a huge fan and the last thing I want is a tag-a-long friend who wants to meet Benedict. I’m jealous and possessive that way.
“Who is this Ben?” She asks Basil rather than me knowing she’s more likely to get an answer.
“He’s an actor buddy of ours. He keeps Lilly posted on what he’s up to but I only hear bits and pieces.” Basil explains with more tact that I had expected. He nods knowingly at me before moving off to serve other customers.
Thankfully Molly drops the Ben topic. Apparently Basil’s explanation was enough. We talk about work, family life and other safe topics that coworkers feel comfortable discussing at the pub.
Around 10:30, we go our separate ways outside and I head home for the night.
When I check my phone, I have a missed call and voicemail from Benedict. So I listen to his message while I walk to my flat. I can’t help but smile to myself when his message turns out to be almost an entire conversation. He’s not good at succinct voicemails.
I send him a quick text letting him know that I got his message and will call him in the morning.
Around 7:30 am, my phone starts buzzing and ringing.
“Hello?” I answer sleepily.
“Lilly!” My cousin Linnea cries happily. “Are you awake? Can I come get you for girls’ day?” Linnea lives both in London and Stockholm but is constantly travelling for work. This is the first time she’s been in town since I moved so I am eager to see her but not at 7:30 am.
“I wasn’t awake, Linne.” I reply and she just laughs.
“Alright, I’ll bring coffee and cigarettes then. What’s your address? I’ll GPS it.” She’s not going to give up so I give in and give her my address.
Luckily, dress code for girls’ day with Linnea is always workout casual. And we’ll probably end up at a yoga class at some point today. So I just shower and pull my hair into a ponytail and get dressed.
She arrives around 8:15 and as promised, has coffee and cigarettes.
Linnea is a beautiful girl and I was often jealous of her when we were growing up. She was just always miles ahead of everyone else. She is clever and curious and learns quickly. Her dream growing up was to become a super model but when she only grew to 5’4” her dreams were dashed. But Little Linne quickly adapted and found a new path.
Her brother, Johan, owns a unique Public Relations firm here in London and she has worked for him since late 2009/early 2010.
“Oh, Lilly.” She breathes happily and hugs me. “You look fantastic. What’s his name?”
“It’s not always about a man, Linne.” I say with a scolding tone and lead her out to the back patio. The morning air is cool and refreshing. The smell of dew is still in the air. And some of the plants in my garden are starting to come alive, giving the air an earthy, fresh feeling.
“No, not always but I can tell with you.” She settles into the chair beside me and lights up her smoke.
“It’s nothing at the moment.” I reply honestly. I’ve always confided in Linnea despite the fact that she’s a few years younger than me. “We met when I first moved here and have become great friends. I really enjoy his company and he is very attentive.”
“So then the sex is good?” she asks, exhaling a think cloud of smoke.
“Oh, we haven’t done anything like that.” I admit. Her eyes widen in shock but then soften as she shrugs.
“I know you like to wait it out. What’s his name?” her phone beeps and whatever has popped up on her screen causes her to smile. But she doesn’t reply.
“His name is Benedict.” I reply and hold my breath. She works in the UK film/TV industry and I wouldn’t be surprised if she knows him.
“Benedict Cumberbatch?!” she exclaims happily and she claps her hands together when I nod in response. “He’s a doll and I can totally see him for you!”
“When did you meet him?” I ask, wondering if he’d ever fallen in love with her like so many men seem to do.
Linnea and I are completely different when it comes to men. I am suspicious and hesitant a lot of the time and don’t let people in quickly but when I do, I am totally in. Linnea is superficially interested in everyone. She’s not vain or shallow she just likes to meet everyone and doesn’t settle down or pick anyone in particular. Her mother always says that she thanks God every day for Linnea’s logical process that keeps her out of trouble.
“I met him when he was working with Tom on War Horse. He is a total sweetheart.” She puts out her cigarette and lights another one. “He’s brilliant too, which I’m sure you know after spending time with him. They are a laugh riot together.”
Linnea’s main client is Tom Hiddleston and they are Johan’s shining example of how well his program works.
“Come on, my dear.” She says after we’ve finished our coffee and cigarettes. “I have planned a hot yoga class for us and then we have a brunch reservation.”
We take her fancy new Land Rover and I can’t help notice that between the car and two young blondes, we are getting a lot of looks. They range from outrageous and shameless displays of jealousy in women to outrageous and shameless looks of lust from men.
Linnea lets it roll off her and suggests I do the same when she notices my discomfort.
“You’re lovely, my dear. Embrace it. We come from good stock.” She says with a wink. “Besides, none of these idiots are worth a second look if you’ve got Benedict at your door.”
I can’t help but wonder all through our hot yoga class if Benedict is really interested or if he’s just being a good friend.
But when I leave the class and receive a message that says: “I hope you’re having a lovely day. I miss you and hope to talk soon!” from him I think maybe he is.
Linnea gives me a suggestive eyebrow raise and nudges me when she sees the message.
“So, what color will my bridesmaid’s dress be?” she asks and links her arm through mine while we walk to the restaurant. “I look lovely in blue.”
I just shake my head at her and nudge her roughly for her insolence.
Molly looks frazzled and my beautifully straightened hair has ended up in a messy ponytail. We both managed to kick off our shoes at some point and coffee cups, papers and other odds and ends cover our desks.
Molly is the first to get up out of her seat.
“Come on, Lilly.” she says with exasperation and slugs her purse over her shoulder. “It’s 5:45, let’s get out of here.”
“Let me just get my things.” I reply and start shutting down my computer and tidying my desk space.
We are out of the office by 6:00. The weather has been getting nicer and I’ve been taking the tube to work and walking more. Molly and I walk for at least 20 minutes everyday around lunch time even if we don’t take our full hour break.
We’ve become rather close over the last few months and I truly value her friendship even if we keep it close to the office.
She and I have, however, started going out for a drink (or two) on Friday evenings after work. I know Basil feels slighted by my patronage at other bars in town so tonight I’ve convinced Molly to come out to Basil’s.
When we arrive, Basil is busy with other customers giving Molly and I time to pick a pair of barstools and settle in.
“Well good evening.” Basil says as he approaches. “This must be Molly?” he asks and reaches to shake her hand. “I know what she’s drinking but what can I get for you Molly?”
He converses with Molly politely while she decides what to order.
“Where is Ben these days?” Basil asks when he returns with our drinks. Molly raises a curious eyebrow because she’s heard about Benedict but not in any real context or depth.
“He’s finishing up a film, working with Martin and beginning work on a TV series.” I say quietly and Molly really perks up. I purposely avoid saying ‘Sherlock’ because Molly is a huge fan and the last thing I want is a tag-a-long friend who wants to meet Benedict. I’m jealous and possessive that way.
“Who is this Ben?” She asks Basil rather than me knowing she’s more likely to get an answer.
“He’s an actor buddy of ours. He keeps Lilly posted on what he’s up to but I only hear bits and pieces.” Basil explains with more tact that I had expected. He nods knowingly at me before moving off to serve other customers.
Thankfully Molly drops the Ben topic. Apparently Basil’s explanation was enough. We talk about work, family life and other safe topics that coworkers feel comfortable discussing at the pub.
Around 10:30, we go our separate ways outside and I head home for the night.
When I check my phone, I have a missed call and voicemail from Benedict. So I listen to his message while I walk to my flat. I can’t help but smile to myself when his message turns out to be almost an entire conversation. He’s not good at succinct voicemails.
I send him a quick text letting him know that I got his message and will call him in the morning.
Around 7:30 am, my phone starts buzzing and ringing.
“Hello?” I answer sleepily.
“Lilly!” My cousin Linnea cries happily. “Are you awake? Can I come get you for girls’ day?” Linnea lives both in London and Stockholm but is constantly travelling for work. This is the first time she’s been in town since I moved so I am eager to see her but not at 7:30 am.
“I wasn’t awake, Linne.” I reply and she just laughs.
“Alright, I’ll bring coffee and cigarettes then. What’s your address? I’ll GPS it.” She’s not going to give up so I give in and give her my address.
Luckily, dress code for girls’ day with Linnea is always workout casual. And we’ll probably end up at a yoga class at some point today. So I just shower and pull my hair into a ponytail and get dressed.
She arrives around 8:15 and as promised, has coffee and cigarettes.
Linnea is a beautiful girl and I was often jealous of her when we were growing up. She was just always miles ahead of everyone else. She is clever and curious and learns quickly. Her dream growing up was to become a super model but when she only grew to 5’4” her dreams were dashed. But Little Linne quickly adapted and found a new path.
Her brother, Johan, owns a unique Public Relations firm here in London and she has worked for him since late 2009/early 2010.
“Oh, Lilly.” She breathes happily and hugs me. “You look fantastic. What’s his name?”
“It’s not always about a man, Linne.” I say with a scolding tone and lead her out to the back patio. The morning air is cool and refreshing. The smell of dew is still in the air. And some of the plants in my garden are starting to come alive, giving the air an earthy, fresh feeling.
“No, not always but I can tell with you.” She settles into the chair beside me and lights up her smoke.
“It’s nothing at the moment.” I reply honestly. I’ve always confided in Linnea despite the fact that she’s a few years younger than me. “We met when I first moved here and have become great friends. I really enjoy his company and he is very attentive.”
“So then the sex is good?” she asks, exhaling a think cloud of smoke.
“Oh, we haven’t done anything like that.” I admit. Her eyes widen in shock but then soften as she shrugs.
“I know you like to wait it out. What’s his name?” her phone beeps and whatever has popped up on her screen causes her to smile. But she doesn’t reply.
“His name is Benedict.” I reply and hold my breath. She works in the UK film/TV industry and I wouldn’t be surprised if she knows him.
“Benedict Cumberbatch?!” she exclaims happily and she claps her hands together when I nod in response. “He’s a doll and I can totally see him for you!”
“When did you meet him?” I ask, wondering if he’d ever fallen in love with her like so many men seem to do.
Linnea and I are completely different when it comes to men. I am suspicious and hesitant a lot of the time and don’t let people in quickly but when I do, I am totally in. Linnea is superficially interested in everyone. She’s not vain or shallow she just likes to meet everyone and doesn’t settle down or pick anyone in particular. Her mother always says that she thanks God every day for Linnea’s logical process that keeps her out of trouble.
“I met him when he was working with Tom on War Horse. He is a total sweetheart.” She puts out her cigarette and lights another one. “He’s brilliant too, which I’m sure you know after spending time with him. They are a laugh riot together.”
Linnea’s main client is Tom Hiddleston and they are Johan’s shining example of how well his program works.
“Come on, my dear.” She says after we’ve finished our coffee and cigarettes. “I have planned a hot yoga class for us and then we have a brunch reservation.”
We take her fancy new Land Rover and I can’t help notice that between the car and two young blondes, we are getting a lot of looks. They range from outrageous and shameless displays of jealousy in women to outrageous and shameless looks of lust from men.
Linnea lets it roll off her and suggests I do the same when she notices my discomfort.
“You’re lovely, my dear. Embrace it. We come from good stock.” She says with a wink. “Besides, none of these idiots are worth a second look if you’ve got Benedict at your door.”
I can’t help but wonder all through our hot yoga class if Benedict is really interested or if he’s just being a good friend.
But when I leave the class and receive a message that says: “I hope you’re having a lovely day. I miss you and hope to talk soon!” from him I think maybe he is.
Linnea gives me a suggestive eyebrow raise and nudges me when she sees the message.
“So, what color will my bridesmaid’s dress be?” she asks and links her arm through mine while we walk to the restaurant. “I look lovely in blue.”
I just shake my head at her and nudge her roughly for her insolence.
♠ ♠ ♠
