I'm Not Okay
Two Weeks
The doctors at St. James wouldn’t tell me anything since I wasn’t family, you could imagine how much that pissed me off, but I just shook it off and reached into the back pocket of my jeans and got out Dr. Craft’s card. She had given it to me right before we left the hospital when Holly was discharged. She wanted to be updated on Holly’s condition, and she that she delivered safely, and I could see in her eyes what she wanted to say is Holly’s delivered at all.
***
Nearly an hour later I hung up the phone after a conversation with a very angry Doctor. She was upset with what was happening to Holly and she was making plans on calling the hospital and talking to the doctor overseeing Holly. I spoke when I could to her, but she had a lot to say. But she also said, much to my pleasure that when she did called the hospital, she would demand that they tell me something and they let me see her.
It wasn’t very long after I finished Dr. Craft that a young looking nurse came out of Holly’s room and walked towards me, “Mr. Way? A Dr. Craft called and requests that you be allowed to see Ms. James.” I nodded and followed her back to Holly’s room; she simply pointed in and walked back out. I looked in and saw Holly. She was asleep, well either that or in a drug induced one, she was hooked up to so many machine its almost unbelievable. I walked as quietly as I could into the room and sat down in the grey chair near Holly’s bed. It seems like so many times I’ve been in this position, just staring at her as she’s asleep in a hospital, and I’ve only know her two weeks. I look down to the bed where her hand laid on its side and take it in mine.
“Mr. Way?” I jerk my head back to the door where a doctor, one I’ve seen walk into this room countless times in the past twelve hours, is beckoning me out of the room and to follow him. I rub Holly’s hand gently then leave it on the bed then follow the doctor. “I’m Dr. Moore, I’m one of Dr. Craft’s friends. I used to work with her when she was a resident her at St. James. She’s filled me in on what has happened to Holly, and I’ve told her what we have found out-“
“Excuse me Doctor, but what have you found?” I asked as I crossed my arms, I was getting very angry with this hospital, so far being here wasn’t as they put it, ‘heavenly’.
“Well, Mr. Way, the fetus was very small and it was having trouble attaching itself to the cervix and as you told us when Holly arrived you were walking? And Holly had been lying in bed all week?” I nodded to all of this, but as I did my mind came to the worst case scenario conclusion.
“No, you can’t be telling me…” I trailed off.
“I’m sorry; Holly’s body rejected the baby.” He sighed then walked away. I walked slowly back into Holly’s room. She was starting to stir, and as I sat back down in the chair her eyes open and directly landed on me.
“Hey,” She smiled, but it quickly faded as she pushed herself up a little. She could tell there was something wrong with the look on my face, and probably the feeling in her gut, literally. “Gerard, what happened this time?”
“Holly, I’m so sorry.” And that’s all I really had to say. She knew, just like that. Her baby was gone. I just up to hold her as she mourned over her lost, I knew no matter how much she said she didn’t want it, that it was still apart of her so I held her as she cried over what, she’ll never know. It might have only seemed like just two weeks but those two weeks were a lifetime.
***
Nearly an hour later I hung up the phone after a conversation with a very angry Doctor. She was upset with what was happening to Holly and she was making plans on calling the hospital and talking to the doctor overseeing Holly. I spoke when I could to her, but she had a lot to say. But she also said, much to my pleasure that when she did called the hospital, she would demand that they tell me something and they let me see her.
It wasn’t very long after I finished Dr. Craft that a young looking nurse came out of Holly’s room and walked towards me, “Mr. Way? A Dr. Craft called and requests that you be allowed to see Ms. James.” I nodded and followed her back to Holly’s room; she simply pointed in and walked back out. I looked in and saw Holly. She was asleep, well either that or in a drug induced one, she was hooked up to so many machine its almost unbelievable. I walked as quietly as I could into the room and sat down in the grey chair near Holly’s bed. It seems like so many times I’ve been in this position, just staring at her as she’s asleep in a hospital, and I’ve only know her two weeks. I look down to the bed where her hand laid on its side and take it in mine.
“Mr. Way?” I jerk my head back to the door where a doctor, one I’ve seen walk into this room countless times in the past twelve hours, is beckoning me out of the room and to follow him. I rub Holly’s hand gently then leave it on the bed then follow the doctor. “I’m Dr. Moore, I’m one of Dr. Craft’s friends. I used to work with her when she was a resident her at St. James. She’s filled me in on what has happened to Holly, and I’ve told her what we have found out-“
“Excuse me Doctor, but what have you found?” I asked as I crossed my arms, I was getting very angry with this hospital, so far being here wasn’t as they put it, ‘heavenly’.
“Well, Mr. Way, the fetus was very small and it was having trouble attaching itself to the cervix and as you told us when Holly arrived you were walking? And Holly had been lying in bed all week?” I nodded to all of this, but as I did my mind came to the worst case scenario conclusion.
“No, you can’t be telling me…” I trailed off.
“I’m sorry; Holly’s body rejected the baby.” He sighed then walked away. I walked slowly back into Holly’s room. She was starting to stir, and as I sat back down in the chair her eyes open and directly landed on me.
“Hey,” She smiled, but it quickly faded as she pushed herself up a little. She could tell there was something wrong with the look on my face, and probably the feeling in her gut, literally. “Gerard, what happened this time?”
“Holly, I’m so sorry.” And that’s all I really had to say. She knew, just like that. Her baby was gone. I just up to hold her as she mourned over her lost, I knew no matter how much she said she didn’t want it, that it was still apart of her so I held her as she cried over what, she’ll never know. It might have only seemed like just two weeks but those two weeks were a lifetime.
♠ ♠ ♠
*tear*poor holz
<3