Somewhere in NYC

The next day you decide to go back to the coffee shop you apparently always go to. It is, you admit, one of the nicest coffee shops you have ever been inside. The lighting is warm and inviting in contrast to the bright colours found almost everywhere else. The mugs have a variety of different patterns and when you comment on this Alex says he’s pretty sure you’ve both had a drink in every one. The chairs are plush and comfortable and the tables are always cleaned as if by magic as soon as someone leaves their place, and as it is just slightly out of the way of the main tourism streets, it is usually just New Yorkers there, which is nice when you consider just how many cameras there are every where else.

The barrister who works three till nine Thursday through Sunday, is one of the friendliest people you have ever met and pretty to match, and you end up feeling like she’s your friend after the fifth time you walk in as she remembers all the regulars names, her high blonde ponytail swishing from side to side as she makes small talk while her well practiced hands make you the perfect beverage.

The table you usually sit down in is in the corner, hemmed in on one side by booth like seating with chairs on the other. It is next to the window and Alex likes to sit opposite it and watch the world roll past while you’re more content to sit across from Alex, taking in his features and letting them calm you as you try to remember more of your life here, none has been forthcoming but you’re getting used to the way things are and you don’t talk about it too much anymore, although you both think about it, missing the way it used to be from both perspectives.

New York is amazing but you miss the band and feel trapped by being stuck in one place, albeit one of the largest places. Alex is still confused; he expected you’d have remembered by now, but it’s not like you’re not having a good time anyway, making the most of every thing, so neither of you voice your thoughts, worried about shattering the seemingly serene visage.

“You know,” Alex begins, shaking you from your thoughts, “we used to hang out in a coffee shop quite a lot like this back in Baltimore.”

“Yeah, I know, I was there,” you say with a smirk.

You’re still unsure of how much you should tell this Alex about the life you know with the band, seeing as each time you’ve tried it’s made him tense up and get anxious and pretty much near an extesential crisis, which you don’t personally think is an overreaction in the slightest.

“You know,” you mock subtly, trying to gather the guts to say what you’re going to say, “we used to go to that coffee shop all the time as teenagers and talk about whatever was particularly worrying us, and then when we started touring, whenever we were in Baltimore we'd go back to that place and do the same, and every time we were there we'd act like we didn't have girlfriends and it was just nice. You wrote a song about it."

“I did?” he inquires hesitantly. “Was it…” he begins awkwardly, “was it any good?”

“It’s the best,” you say grinning, “it’s my favourite."

“How come?”

“I don’t know,” you say happy he’s making an effort to talk about this with you, talk about what really matters to you with you. “I guess, it’s just fun and it has so much energy,” you say you’re speech getting louder and faster as you get more passionate about what you’re saying, “it was one of the earliest guitar parts I was really actually happy with and when we showed the others what we’d been working on they liked it from the first beat and it just makes me so happy because when the fans scream back the lyrics they’re screaming about the first days that made me happy in the days that are every thing I’ve ever lived for and it just reminds me that me and you do mean something more to each other, even when we don’t talk about it or act upon it or even mean to and that’s what makes me feel like I can carry on when I feel burnt down because damn if that was us then and we still get to play that song now, I can’t fucking wait to see the future.”

After you’ve said it you realise how much you talked about ‘the other world’ that you usually try to forget and what you try not to talk about because it makes things weird and now Alex is probably freaked out and will not talk to you much for the next few days and you feel the overbearing feeling of homesickness wash over you again, drowning you like a tsunami, and you struggle to continue smiling, but you do it for him and you do it for yourself and you do it for both of you. Because if you break that will be the end. And that can’t happen.