Puppet

#A/N PLEASE READ THIS! TRIGGER WARNING! SELF HARM AND SUICIDE! DO NOT READ IF EASILY TRIGGERED! Also slight domestic abuse.

After finishing her cigarette Alice walked back into the living room and handed Ricky back the pack along with his lighter sitting down beside Ryan. She gently rested her head upon his shoulder and he took full advantage placing his hand around her waist pulling her further into his chest. Alice welcomed the embrace snuggling further into his chest.

"How was your shopping trip?" Ryan asked Alice after having finished his conversation with Ricky.
"Not too bad I guess," Alice replied.
"What do you mean you guess?" Ryan asked slightly worried.
"Well it was fine but I asked Angelo about who broke his heart and he told me her name was Lexi, but he won't tell me what happened to her and Balz wouldn't either," Alice said hoping Ryan would bite.
"Look Alice, Angelo and Lexi didn't end well for multiple reasons and I don't think you should hear it from me. I'm sure if you ask Angelo what happened he will tell you. He still isn't over what happened and it's not fair for us to tell you when it's his story to tell. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Alice said as she hugged Ryan tighter. She had multiple theories beginning to formulate but there was no way of knowing what was the truth. Standing from her place next to Ryan she excused herself and hunted down Angelo finding him in his bedroom. Perched on his bed he appeared to be reading a book although she wasn't sure what. Knocking, she took a few steps in as Angelo looked up and smiled placing the book on the nightstand he sat with his legs hanging on the side of his bed.

"Hello beautiful," Angelo said as he smiled at Alice.
"I have something to ask you and I need you to be honest. Okay?"
"Of course what is my dear," Angelo replied his face looking slightly worried.
"Do you want me to choose you Angelo?" Alice asked openly, needing to know the truth.
"What do you mean?" Angelo asked a little more than confused by her question.
"Do you seriously want me to choose you at the end of this week?" Alice stated slightly more confident than before. Angelo looked at Alice stunned unable to answer the question instantly. He sat there pondering, he knew that he wasn't fully over Lexi, but would he ever really be? Did he really want to spend the rest of his life with Alice hoping he would forget about her? He knew that it wasn't fair to Alice to keep leading her own.

"I guess not," Angelo whispered looking up into Alice's eyes as she smiled back at him slightly.
"I knew you didn't. You still love Lexi and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I just don't know if I can be with someone who may never love me I'm sorry," she said as a tear fell from her face. Alice had never been one to push people away, she needed all the people she could keep in her life. She walked over to Angelo and placed a soft kiss on his cheek pulling him into a hug as she saw the small droplets of water rolling down his cheek. With his head pressed against her chest he cried for his lost love and for the fear that he would never love another again.

"I miss her so much," Angelo managed as his tears began to cease. Pulling away from Alice he stood from the bed and headed over to his chest of drawers pulling out a small velvet box. Walking back towards Alice he gently sat beside her before opening the box and handing her a delicate chain. The small diamond pendant glistened as the moonlight hit it's surface.

"This used to belong to her before she died. I think you should have it, I know nothing will happen between us and it wouldn't be fair if I tried to be with you. But I still care for you and it would mean a lot if you would accept this gift," as Angelo moved to place the necklace around her neck Alice felt a tear fall down her cheek.

"I know what it's like to lose someone you love," Alice whispered barely loud enough for Angelo to hear.
"Trust me you don't," Angelo said almost angry with her words leaving Alice slightly shocked.
"And how would you know? Did you ask me about my life before I was brought here? No, you didn't." At this point Alice found herself growing more and more frustrated with the situation.
"Then what is this so called loss you speak of?" Angelo asked as if to mock her.
"Fuck you," was all Alice said as she made her way for the door she made it to the bottom of the stairs before she heard him stomping behind her.
"Don't you dare speak to me like that," Angelo called from behind her. She turned to see his angered face his eyes changing to an unnatural shade of crimson. Balz and Ryan walked out of the living having heard Angelo scream. Angelo came up swiftly in front of Alice his hand colliding with her cheek. She didn't scream or cry, she knew better than to react. She simply composed herself and turned her back walking down the hall and into the kitchen. From the place she had left them she could hear Balz and now Ricky screaming at Angelo and she was sure she heard flesh hitting flesh.

"Are you alright?" The words caused Alice to jump as she turned to see Ryan standing in the doorway.
"Nothing new for me," she replied smiling and walking towards the fridge. .
"I'm not saying you deserved it but what did you do to make him so angry?" Ryan asked a sense of fascination with the situation.
"I told him I had lost someone I loved and he mocked me as though I've never felt loss in my life. I said, fuck you, and walked out. It's my fault I should have known better than to speak to him like that," Alice said more to herself than to Ryan. She had begun to think like the scared victim she had once been without even realising it. Ryan looked at her amazed at what she was saying about herself.

"Alice you don't deserve to be treated that way. You need to stop letting people put you down," Ryan without realising had shortened the distance between them until they were mere centimetres apart. He placed his hand lightly on her cheek moving his thumb to wipe away the tears that had started to fall. She looked up at him and her eyes although sad had a glimmer of hope still left.

"No one has ever wanted me Ryan. Not even Caleb could stay with me," Alice stopped realising she had said his name. She hated herself for bringing him up, just another weakness to be used against her.
"Whose Caleb?" Ryan asked completely confused.
"Caleb was the love of my life, my first real boyfriend who actually cared about me," Alice said the tears freely flowing although her voice didn't waiver.
"Why didn't he stay with you? Did he cheat on you? Dump you? Move away? Did he hurt you?" Ryan was grasping at straws trying to understand why this boy had caused her so much pain.
"He hurt me but not in the way that you would expect," Alice said taking a deep breath. "I was just 17 and had moved in with a new foster family but had somehow managed to stay at the same school and with Caleb. Halfway through the year I discovered I was pregnant with his baby, despite everything we couldn't have been more excited. But Caleb was ill, he was depressed and harmed himself. Nothing I could do convinced him that he should stop. Two months into the pregnancy I lost the baby when my step father punched me in the stomach." There was no way to stop the tears now and Alice didn't see any point in trying.
"Caleb didn't handle losing the baby well I knew he was trying to stay strong for me but it killed him inside even more than it did me. About two weeks after I lost her I found him in his bathroom with his wrists slit and an empty bottle of pills. There was no turning back from that point I knew I was alone and that nobody would ever want me."
"We want you," Ryan said. "You're worth more than you give yourself credit for. You are so strong I don't understand how you can let people put you down."
"They've done it all my life why wouldn't I expect it?"
"Because there are people who care for you," Ryan replied desperately trying to convince Alice she was worth something.
"Why would they start now?" She whispered.
"Because they see you for what you truly are," Ryan replied starting to smile.
"And what am I?" Alice asked confused.
"Beautiful," Ryan replied as he leant down and placed a chaste kiss on Alice's lips. She smiled into his touch as the kiss became more heated. But before it could go any further Balz appeared in the doorway, clearing his throat to gain their attention.

"Excuse me, as beautiful as that moment was, Chris wants a meeting in the living room," Balz said smiling from the doorframe.