Everything Has Changed

It had been a couple of days since Alex and I last spoke, it was weird because I never imagined it being like this. I always told myself that if a guy cheated on me, he didn't deserve me and he wasn't worth it. But Alex, he's worth the world and I don't only love him, my father was right - I look up to him as a hero. His voice spoke to people, they looked up to him as someone to relate to. People would die to just be friends with him, to be close to Alex and I'm here letting him slip through my fingers. But there wasn't much I could do, Alex didn't want me back, at least that's what I thought because even after confessing his love to me he didn't break up with Halie, in fact they were over last night having a movie night and I officially wanted to drink bleach.

Just seeing someone make him smile or make him laugh made me sick, made me want to cry my eyes out, made me want to go to sleep and never wake up. I was used to missing Alex when he was on tour, but I still got cute texts each morning and night but missing him now is weird, he's not mine to miss.

Today was a different kind of day, Doctor Reynolds had scheduled a minor surgery and I was already sitting in the hospital waiting room, alone. I didn't tell anyone about today, Cassadee had gone on tour with Rascal Flats and I didn't want to worry her. For the past few months, I felt like a nuisance to everyone and I just felt like it would be a bother.

I was called into the room, Halie came in a perky smile on her face and I just smiled back, tired of her. She put in the IV's and I lay back, waiting for the aesthetics to take effect. Doctor Reynolds came in, looking at his clip board and when he looked up, he seemed confused.

"You're alone?" He asked, and I nodded. He gave me a skeptical look and then wrote something down. "Someone just came in with a busted artery, so you're going to be here for a bit more"

"That's fine" I said, pulling my phone and headphones out.

He left the room silently, I started to listen to the Cab and the aesthetics were making me really sleepy. Three hours later, I awoke still in the same postition I was before and I figured that they were still running before. I heard foot steps running, they seemed anxious and I felt bad, for them because there were worse scenarios. But the foot steps became louder and soon I was staring at Alex, standing in the door way.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, blinking as the drugs made me dizzy.

"Doctor Reynolds called, why didn't you tell anyone you were having surgery?" He asked, and I shrugged.

"Everyone's done a lot for me and I didn't want to bother anyone, especially you"

"Tori, minor or not this is surgery and you shouldn't be here alone"

"I've done everything else alone"

"I'm just going to assume that the aesthetics are making you like this, but when he called me I worried so much that I cancelled plans with Halie to come here" He explained and I shrugged.

"That doesn't make any difference because she's here" I stated and he shrugged.

"We're not really talking at the moment" He said, and I hummed. I wasn't really sure if I should ask so I just sat there. Alex looked at my conflicted face, he chuckled and shook his head. "She said some things about you that I didn't like, I told her off"

"May I ask what she said about me?" I asked, and he sighed.

"It's not really important" He whispered and sat next to me, he held my hand and the familiar shock ran up my arm. "We may not be together Tori, but no one says anything about you on my watch because I'm supposed to protect you"

"Victoria we're ready for you- Oh, Hey Alex" Halie came into the room, her perky smile gone and my hand lost the warmth of Alex's. "I'm going to push you down there, Alex you can come with us"



All I remember next was waking up in the hospital, I suppose it was pretty late because the door was closed and I could see that the lights were pretty dimmed. My body ached a bit, but nothing too serious and it seemed that most of the drugs had worn off. I turned my head a bit, at the sound of a snore and there lay Alex, sleeping on the small couch provided in the rooms. I pressed the nurse button, located on the side of the bed.

A nurse that thankfully was not Halie came in.

"May I have some water?" I asked, she smiled and nodded. "Oh, and maybe a pillow and blanket for my friend over here"

She smiled again, then left the room and I sat there.

"Friend?" I met Alex's tired eyes, he smiled and I laughed. "We're friends?"

"I don't know, I'd like us to be" I stated and he nodded.

"Me too"

"Look Alex, I want to apologize for everything - I've acted like a totally bitch and even know you did kind of deserve it, I didn't like acting like that" I explained and he nodded.

"You're right, about me deserving it" He said, a smile.

"So what did the Doctor say?" I asked, gesturing to the many wires attatched to my chest.

"That the tests will come in some time next week and you'll go from there"

"Awesome, I just want to be cancer free for Christmas" I stated and Alex looked at me, he smiled but it wasn't just any other smile. "What?"

"Nothing" He mutters and looks back, I shook it off and the nurse came back in. Handing Alex and I both water, then Alex a pillow and a blanket. "Thank you"

"Yes, thank you very much" I said to her, smiling as she left the room and closed the door. "Hospitals probably quieting up a bit, I mean the resident area anyway"

Alex nodded and did something really unexpected. He got off the couch and told me to scoot over. He placed the pillow bedside my head and carefully laid down beside me.

"Tell me if I am hurting you" He said quietly and placed the blanket on top of him. "This reminds me of the time you toured with us, we still had the van, you and I slept in the small bed we set up in the back and just told each other things"

"We weren't even dating" I said, and he laughed.

"If we are being truthful here, that's when I knew you were special" He said, I raised an eye brow and gestured for him to continue. "You told me the story of your first rock concert, how your friend had asthma and you had like six different escape routes if she started to have an asthma attack. It made me see that you thought of everyone but yourself"

"My Dad was right you know, about me not just being in love with you but looking up to you because I do, I think the way you see the world is amazing and I guess the first time I had full conversation with you, about music and life in general, I knew something was different about you" I explained and he smiled.

"Your Dad was right about a lot of things, like how you see so much more than anyone else does" He mention and I nodded. "Look into your eyes right now, it seems like there isn't something I can totally see and it intrigues me"

"Yeah, I guess I am different" I whispered, he smiled and lifted my chin.

"Yeah, you are"

We were having one of those moments that made my stomach flip and my eyes blur. Goosebumps rose on my skin but no matter how much I wanted to kiss him I can't. I closed my eyes and buried my head into his shoulder.

"I'm tired" I whispered and he started to hum a bit.

"Before you fall asleep, can I ask you your favourite song on Don't Panic?" He asked and I nodded.

"If These Sheets Were The States" I said, and took a deep breath.

"I was hoping you'd like that one"