Everything Has Changed

I had to be up early this morning, my next round of chemotherapy started and to be honest I was kind of excited because I really wanted to know if I was getting better. But none the less, I was up at 3 o'clock in the morning staring at Alex as he slept. Ever since Friday, Alex stayed through the whole night in the bed without escaping down the the couch.

One hand placed under the pillow and the other placed on top. I gripped the sleeves of the lacrosse sweater closer and took a deep breath as I examined Alex. He wore nothing but a pair of basketball shorts but then again all I was wearing was this sweater and a pair of underwear. As I watched his chest rise and fall, it reminded me of the many times we lay in this bed.

Either it was after sex or just after a long day, we'd lay in the bed and stare at each other. In silence, our eyes would bore into each others and mentally we knew what we were thinking. Alex would intertwine our fingers and play with them until I'd yawn. He'd pull me close and we'd fall asleep in each others arms.

I wiped a stray tear from my eye with my sleeve and sniffled. Alex stirred, making me clench my eyes shut but he never woke up. He just laid he hand closer to me, his palm facing up and I wanted so badly to put my hand in his. I stared at his hand for a long time finally, I did it and I softly placed my hand in his.

I didn't get as far to intertwine our fingers, but just having our palms touching was enough and I closed my eyes contently. He hand giving off heat and radiated into my hand. Making my body calm itself out and soon I was falling asleep, with a smile on my face.



"Lovebirds, wake up" I heard a voice sing, my tired eyes weakly opened and I saw both Cassadee and Rian standing at the end of the bed. First thing I noticed was that my hand was not in Alex's, second thing I noticed was I was very warm and thirdly I noticed that Alex's strong arms were safely wrapped around me.

I was in bliss, it felt so real and so passionate. His scruffy chin was scratching my neck, it took my mind back to the night Alex and I had sex for the first time. Except we were both naked and it was in Alex's old room at his parents house, it was a very small bed too.

I heard Alex stir, all good things come to an end because right when his eyes opened, he was startled and sitting on the side of the bed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning to look up at the two intruders.

"Huh?" I spoke up and they both laughed.

"Were coming to the hospital with you!" Rian said, and I smiled. Thinking about for once I won't be alone.

"Really? Are you sure? It's kind of boring"

"No, we want to come" Cassadee assured and I smiled.

"Let me get ready then" I stated and walked towards the closet, closing the door. Before going to get ready, I put my ear up to door and continued to listen.

"You coming Alex?" Rian asked.

"Nah, I think I'm going to go see my parents"

"What do you mean?" Rian asked, pushing a bit and I could picture him tensing. "You should be there for her"

"She's right when she says it's boring" Alex shot back and I scoffed.

"And you would know, Alex" Cassadee replied and I heard Rian gasp.

"You haven't been?"

"I don't like hospitals"

"I don't care, you're letting her do this alone!" Rian raised his voice and I held my hand over my mouth.

"She doesn't seem to mind" Alex stated and I heard Cassadee laugh sarcastically.

"Have you asked her? Huh, Alex?" Cassadee pushed and I held a hand to my heart.

"You guys have no idea how this has affected me"

"Stop being so damn selfish Alex, you don't have cancer - your girlfriend does!"

"Have you ever thought that maybe-" Alex stopped himself and I felt like I was watching a soap opera with a cliff hanger. I had goosebumps.

"Maybe what Alex?" Cassadee demanded, and I started to breathe heavily. It was a intense atmosphere and pressed my ear harder to the door. It was a long silence until Rian spoke up.

"Alex, stop being childish and-"

"Maybe I can't do this anymore!" Alex shouted and I felt my heart stop. I always knew it, but I honestly didn't want to believe it and there it was, Alex's confession. Tears came to my eyes and I did my best not to show them when I exited the closet, dressed and ready.

"Lets go" I said, a fake smile plastered on my face.



We arrived at the hospital, a nurse directed me to the same room I was in before.

"Doctor Reynolds will be here shortly" She said, and I smiled.

"Thank you"

Rian had managed to drag Alex here, Alex was more interested in his phone but otherwise I was happy he came along or anyone came along for that matter because it got real boring here.

"Is your Doctor cute?" Cassadee asked, and Rian gave her a stern look.

"His last name isn't Reynolds for nothing, you may think his first name was Ryan"

"Wouldn't that be ironic" She nudged Rian and I laughed.

"Killing two birds with one stone"

"Hel-, Oh you brought some friends with you!" Dr. Reynolds came through the door, his smile was as white as a dentists.

"Yes, Dr. Reynolds, this is Cassadee, Rian and you already know Alex" I introduced and smiled.

"Oh yes, Alex!" They shook hands and Alex went back to ignoring the whole situation.

"Ready to start the final round?" He asked me and I nodded. "Okay let's get started"



About an hour later, I was hooked up to machines and being pricked and proaded by needles. I took deep breaths, trying to easy the pain or almost pure metal being pumped into my veins. Rian and Cassadee went to get food, Alex and I sat there in silence.

"Any new material you working on Alex?" I asked, smiling over at him and trying to make some sort of conversation.

"A few things" He muttered, eyes not leaving his phone.

"Can't wait to here it"

He hummed in response, his words from before rang in my head because he had finally given up on us.

Maybe I can't do this anymore