Lost in Translation

The next thing I remembered after the accident was the flashing lights of the ambulance. The blood pouring out of the boy next to me. The screaming. The voices telling me that I’d screwed up.

Everything went black.

“Kaylee.” Someone was calling me. I tried to open my eyes and it took all my effort in doing so. “Kaylee! Thank god, she’s awake!” All at once everyone was crowded around me. I was lying in a white bed. I had on a gown and my uniform was stained with blood and at my feet.

Zoe was the first to plunge at me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my forehead repeatedly as I winced in pain. “Cut it out!” My voice came out as a whisper as I tried to push her away.

“Let’s give her some time to breathe,” the doctor said as he came in. Zoe stepped back meekly, apologizing.

The doctor shined a light in my eyes, checking my pupils. Then he had a nurse come in to take my vitals and said he’d like to see me stay for another night. “Another?” I asked confused. He smiled and left, only answering with a slight nod. I turned to my mom and Zoe. “What does he mean another? Was I unconscious for a whole day?”

“Five days actually.” My mother threw the words out, running from the room in tears.

I looked to Zoe and she nodded in confirmation. “Your friend wasn’t so lucky.”

“What do you-” Then I remembered Louis. “What…what do you mean?”

“He hasn’t woken up yet,” she said looking at her feet as she spoke.

“No. That’s not possible.”

“He lost a lot of blood. The doctors did everything they could, but they don’t think he’s going to wake up.” She paused and watched as an ocean’s worth of tears flooded from my eyes. “It’s not like you really knew him anyways. Just be thankful that you’re okay.”

“No you don’t understand, he can’t die.”

“Kaylee, I know it’s hard, but-” she tried to reason with me, but I wasn’t about to hear it.

“No! You don’t get it. He’s famous and now he’s dead. It was my fault.”

“What do you mean he’s famous?”
“Like every person in the whole world knows him. And he’s dead now. I didn’t even know it was him. And now he’s dead and it’s my fault.”

“He’s not all the way dead. The doctors just think he’s not going to wake up – brain dead.” Zoe spoke quietly and stroked the side of my face. I cried into her palm and she did nothing but sit quietly. This was the kind of friend she was. She didn’t take anyone seriously unless something was wrong. “Who is it?”

“I’m going to go sit with him,” I said standing up and pulling my IV pole with me out into the hallway, ignoring her question.

“Your leg is pretty messed up. Not broken, but they don’t want you on it.” It struck me that Zoe had listened to the doctors like a friend would. She’s my best friend.

“So I’ll hop.” I was out of the room and never wanted to go back in.

“He’s four doors down to your right,” Zoe called after me. "Your mom said she was going back to work when you woke up, I think she already left."

I turned right and stood in the frame of his doorway for what seemed like forever. Finally I had mustered up the courage to walk in the room. No one else was there, but a pile of stuffed animals were at his feet. I sat in the chair by his bed and reached out for his hand. I held it in mine and traced all the lines with my fingers repeatedly.

I must have dozed off because I awoke to the sound of snickering and felt people prodding at me with their fingers. I drew back instantly and smacked away each of their hands. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the four boys that were now in the room.

I was in the same room as the five boys from One Direction. I wasn’t a huge fan – obviously, since I didn’t even recognize Louis – but it was still a big deal. I must have looked horrified because they all took several steps backward and put their hands up.

“Sorry, Love.” Harry, the one with curly brown locks, said. “We didn’t mean to scare you.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…why are you in Louis’ room?” Zayn said before lifting a coffee cup to his lips. They all stared at me while I sat there, dumbfounded by the fact that they had acknowledged my existence, let alone talked to me.

“I know him,” I said fighting the tears. “We met the other day, err last week, and I was in the car with him.”

“Oh.” The four of them said in unison.

“Are you okay, doll?” Harry said, probably noting the tears that lined my eyes.

“No. Not exactly.” I admitted. Then the tears ran freely. I was sobbing and heaving and looking like a complete mess in front of them all. I buried my face in my hands.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I looked up and saw Harry clutching me to his chest. “A friend of Louis’ is a friend of ours.” He held me tight against him until I finally stopped crying. “Let’s take a walk, yeah?”

“I don’t think you understand. I killed your friend. It was entirely my fault.” He drew back instinctively. Then he took a breath and draped his arm around my waist.

“Walk with me.”

I couldn’t exactly say no because my voice wouldn’t allow me to and neither would my brain, so I went with him. We sat on the landing of an empty stairwell and I told him what I remembered from the accident. I was shaking the whole time. The only thing I didn’t tell him was that I didn’t know Louis was part of One Direction at first, or until he told me. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered when I had finished.

“It wasn’t your fault, do you hear me?” I tried to object, but he wouldn’t have it. Finally, I gave in, nodding and letting out a breath that I felt like I’d been holding onto for too long. “Let me buy you lunch, then we’ll go back up to Louis’ room.” It wasn’t a question.

I picked at the sandwich he’d bought and sipped the juice daintily. Harry looked at me oddly, “You haven’t had real food in days, hon. Eat up.”

“I don’t feel entirely well,” I admitted. “My name’s Kaylee, by the way.”

He nodded, “Pretty name for a pretty girl.” I looked down at my food and blushed. He grinned and said, “So you and Louis…are you guys a thing?”

“No, we really just met,” I shrugged as we sat down at a table in the nearly empty mess hall.

“And where were you on your way to, if I may ask.” He seemed set on keeping my mind busy and not able to wander.

“He was taking me to his place,” I said, knowing what Harry must have been thinking. “We were at a party earlier and then some douche was giving me a hard time so Louis suggested that we leave.”

“But you’re not a thing?” His eyebrows were raised in mockery and a grin played the corners of his mouth.

“No. Like I said, we had just met.” I didn’t return the smile, but instead looked to my feet, allowing the guilt to swallow me up.

“So was this just a one night stand? A hook up of sorts?”

“No. I just didn’t want to be at the party anymore and I couldn’t go home just yet because my parents would have hurled questions at me for getting home early.” I started nibbling on my food, hoping he’d just shut up. Then I realized that if I was any other girl in the entire world, I’d be fangirl-ing over the fact that I was dining with Harry Styles. Instead I was annoyed by him.

“So when did the accident happen? Louis is a good driver and I can’t see him just running off the road. Did something cause the accident?” He wasn’t really prying, just curious.

“I already told you. It was my fault. Can we just drop it now?” My voice was rising and a few heads turned our way. I shut my eyes and put my face in my hands and my elbows on the table.

“Can you take a picture with me?” It was barely a whisper. I glanced up to see a young girl with a scarf wrapped around her head. She held out a camera to Harry with a hopeful look on his face. He nodded and took a picture of the two of them smiling together. She walked away backwards, not taking her eyes off of him.

“Alright, let’s get out of here,” he said pulling me up by my arm.

“Go on, we don’t want your fans to think you’re in a relationship with anyone.” I said sitting back down and picking at my food some more.

“For god’s sake, stop being stubborn and walk with me.” He was smiling as he spoke. Cameras were flashing around us.

I sighed and pulled myself to my feet and dumped my tray in a trash on the way out. We stepped into an empty elevator and went back up to the floor Louis was on. The boys were still in the room, cracking jokes and talking to Louis like he was awake and fine. But he wasn’t. He was still in a coma and still struggling to hold onto his life.

I wasn’t sure how the One Direction fans hadn’t heard about the accident yet, but I didn’t mind. I was glad they weren’t crowding the area. They would kill me if they ever found out what I’d done. I sat down and saw Harry and Zayn whispering back and forth feverishly. Harry sighed in defeat and I watched as Zayn pulled Niall and Liam from the room. They fled right out of the door and Harry came and threw himself on the couch next to me. He pulled me over, with an arm around my waist, until I was nearly sitting on top of him.

“I know you didn’t tell me everything. And I know you might not want to, but you’re going to tell me anyways.” It wasn’t a question anymore. He was telling me what was going to happen as if I didn’t have an option. I let out a sigh and he wrapped his arm behind me and pulled my head on his shoulder. We sat like this quietly for a few minutes because I was too afraid to move. “Whenever you’re ready, doll.” His voice was barely a whisper.

“Look, promise me you won’t freak out or I don’t know – just don’t laugh at me.”

“I won’t.” He crossed his heart and nodded, looking only slightly confused.

“I asked him his name when we met and he just laughed at me and changed the subject,” I started out before Harry interrupted me.

“Why’d you ask Louis his name?” he asked, looking more confused.

“I didn’t recognize him. And when we were in the car, back to his place or where ever, he said he was in a boy band and it still didn’t click. I just blanked out and he was horrified or shocked or something. He was distracted from the road and it was my fault. That’s it.”

Harry let out a stifled laugh and I didn’t hesitate to punch his shoulder. “Ow!” he laughed, leaning away from me.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh,” I said bumping his shoulder with my own.

“I’m not laughing at you! I’m laughing at Louis for being such a cocky child. He’s so full of himself and our band in general.”

“He’s allowed to be surprised that I didn’t know who he was, after all, everyone does.”

“Well sure, but he was so surprised that he ran off the road.” Harry stopped laughing and just looked over at me. “It wasn’t your fault, okay?” I nodded solemnly.

“How can you just sit here laughing when he’s not going to wake up?” I asked quietly.

“He’ll wake up.”

“You can’t be sure, though.” He wrapped his arms around me and just held me. It was nice. It felt like he was holding me together. I thought I would for sure fall apart when he let go of me. I knew that as soon as Louis woke up, they would all disappear and I would never see any of them again – unless I went to a concert or a meet and greet, which was so very unlikely.

I figured that I should stay at the hospital with Louis and the boys since it was my fault we were all in this mess. As many times as Harry said it wasn’t my fault, I still knew it was. I slid out of Harry’s arm after he’d fallen asleep to go and tell my best friend she should go home. I wasn’t going to drag her into this. Even though she wasn’t a huge fan of One Direction either, I knew she would die to meet them and I wanted to introduce her before they left.

I made my way down the hall to my own room where Zoe was laying on my bed asleep. I walked quietly to her side and skimmed my hand across hers. She woke with a start and threw her legs over the side of the bed, jumping up.

“Sorry, I didn’t know when or if you were coming back,” she said scooting around me.

“I’m actually going to stay with Lou- my friend. You should just go home and I’ll call you if I need anything at all.” I didn’t want her to worry about me.

She gave me a long stare before collecting her things into her purse. “Who’s your friend anyway? You said he was famous.”

“There’s actually more than one of them. It’s the guys from One Direction.” Zoe’s jaw dropped open and she shut it quickly, slapping my arm lightly.

“Get real! I knew you were messing with me anyways. I’ll come back after school tomorrow to check on you and bring you homework and real people food.” I didn’t tell her I wasn’t joking mostly because I was tired and wanted her to just leave now so I could get some sleep. I would send her a picture of me with them in the afternoon to prove myself to her. She gave me a hug and left, heading in the direction opposite of Louis’ room, thank goodness.

I made my way back to Louis’ room where Harry was still sleeping and sat back down on the couch. I sat further away, so not to disturb him, but he woke up anyways.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing at his eyes. “Am I so profoundly awful that you had to scoot away from me?” he was joking, but the question was a real one.

“I just got back, actually. My best friend was in the other room and I left to tell her to go home and get some sleep.”

“Well then get back over here,” he said opening his arms for me. I slid back into the nook and he pressed his cheek to the top of my head comfortably. What was happening? Why was Harry so buddy-buddy with me? I felt like I was in a dream of sorts. For an instant, I hoped I was. That way I wouldn’t have actually gotten Louis killed. “Why didn’t you bring her here to meet us?”

“You were sleeping. But if you don’t mind, she really would love to meet you all. She’ll be back tomorrow,” I said leaving it up to him.

“If she’s anything like you, she won’t even know who we are,” he said winking. I rolled my eyes and laughed. “You should definitely bring her by! I’d love to meet her, for one.”

“Where are the other-” I started to ask.

“I was wondering the same thing! I’ll text one of the lads.” He did just that and I fell asleep in his arms awaiting their return.