Daryl Effing Dixon

I hadn't noticed how hard I'd been going at our fighting lesson, which more accurately could have been described as Beating the shit out of Daryl's hands. As we walked back even my lower back was sore, he'd been adamant about my stance. It had gotten me thinking, how did HE know how to fight? He didn't fight like someone off the street. Like it was from years of experience..the good or bad kind. I cleared my throat,

"Daryl.. how do you know how to fight?" I could see a slight stiffening take his body, he stumbled slightly and grunted. His figure now rigid.

"I ain't fuckin' answerin' that." it seemed that he spat the words out. However it was the attitude I'd expected from the question. I think he'd just answered it simply by his reaction.

"-How old are ya' girl?.." I stumbled when he asked the question, well.. that came out of no where. I opened my mouth, I could tell he was fighting something in his head.

"I ain't answering that fucking question." I mocked back. "-And just for the record. Girl has a name." He grunted and turned on his heel, I almost ran into him.

"I know that. S' Farah. Bu' how old 'r ya'? N' don't bullshit me." His eyes bore down on me, but I'd been prepared. My blue hues matched his, and I remained silent for a moment.

"If you know my name then why insist on calling me 'girl'? And I'm old enough. Why do you want to know?" His thin lips pressed tightly closed as he thought of a response,

"Fer'get it..." He turned and continued walking, "-Y' scared evr'one in camp las'night." I froze and abruptly stumbled on a few loose rocks beneath my feet, his tone was unusual.

"What?" My voice was small. Daryl stopped and turned around, watching me.

"Y' were havin' a nigh' terror. I'd recognize 'un an'where. Sounded like yah's bein' killed 'er somethin'." I closed my mouth and stood there silently, he continued his voice lower.

"-S' 'cause 'f what happened th' other day?...Shane?" My eyes snapped to his face and I stared at him for a moment, his eyes slightly squinted from the sun light. I shrugged slowly, his face, something pulled at my gut again. What the hell was wrong with me??

"I..don't know. I don't remember anything. I never do." He walked back toward me a few steps, he was only a foot or so away now. I shifted uncomfortably in place.

" Y' get 'em often? Th' nigh' terrors?" I bit my lip in thought and shrugged again.

"I think so..I was diagnosed with them pre-zombies. I ran out of my medication about a week... two weeks ago, hell...I don't even know anymore. I wake up with bruises and scrapes..So..yeah..I guess." I felt uncomfortable on the topic.

I could tell Daryl wanted to say more, but he didn't. He simply nodded to himself and turned back and began walking again, the roughness returning to his voice.

"C'mon, don't wan' them askin' where 'yer ass 's."

We were almost back to camp anyway.

I sighed and walked into camp alone, Daryl had split from me and pointed for me to continue back without another word. I'd rolled my eyes and took a swig from my water bottle. When I'd gotten back into camp Lori had recruited me to help clean up the camp a little. We needed to be sure all food or clutter was taken care of. We already had Walkers threatening the world, the last thing we needed was a few wild animals to eat or destroy what little supplies we had left. I didn't feel like starving because a raccoon wanted to get its snack on.

By dinner I was ready to keel over, mentally and physically. Shane had announced that several of the group were going into the city, but that he would be staying to keep things in order here at the camp. Terrific.

Mr. GI Joe Shane was going to stay and 'Keep us safe'. I silently hoped a satellite would fall from the sky and hit him..even golf ball sized hail would suffice.

Merle had sat down in the chair beside me to the right, he hadn't stopped trying to touch me in some manner or another. I would have socked him several of the times but my hands hurt far too much, it was a challenge to even hold the bowl. I felt like a retard. So instead I elbowed him, hard. However it didn't deter his quest for bugging me.

God damn creep. He gave me the heebie-jeebies almost as much as Shane.

Daryl sat on my other side, not as close as he had that morning though. Did my night terror's bug him that much? Was the age thing really bothering him? Why? He didn't want to have any kind of thought about an under aged girl? I could tell him... but maybe I was wrong? What if he just wanted to know, maybe he'd just been fucking with me earlier. I'd made it painfully obvious that I'd flirted with him. This bugged me, I now had questions for him myself. Had I met Daryl before?

I felt like we'd met, some time before all of this end of the world business. I couldn't be sure though, and it's not like he'd said anything about it. But God he just.... again the word escaped my grasp.

No matter how hard I tried, the mental puzzle pieces just wouldn't fit, I was giving myself a headache.
Merle spoke at my side to me, his breath wreaked of liquor and something chemical. I'd noticed him disappear from the group numerous times. His behavior was influenced by something more potent then simply alcohol. He was a drug addict. My guess had been coke, he always sniffed an exceeding amount when he was near. It was the last thing the group needed.

"Lil' bird," it was how he referred to me now..."-you given 'ny thought ta' my offer?" I didn't bother looking at him, but I could feel that he'd been smirking. I hated how he addressed me, as if I catered my attention to him above all others, I spoke low after a sigh,

"Merle, Fuck off. Now leave me alone about it or I'll stab you in the face with my fork..repeatedly"

He roared out in laughter beside me, I cringed out of irritation and leaned slightly away from him. Out of the corner of my eye I though I saw Daryl's shoulders bounce in a short, silent laugh to himself. I had also received several looks from the group.

Glenn raised an eyebrow, I glared past him, fairly sure annoyance and discomfort clear on my face.

I rolled my eyes. Merle wasn't really..ALL that bad...for now, he hadn't reached Shane's level of 'Piece Of Shit' status yet... he just had a habit of pushing subjects and giving sexist nick-names.

He seemed like a dog chasing cars, he was persistent but it made me wonder if he'd even know what to do if he caught the car.

I think for now he was simply fucking with me. He was one of the group who was going into the city, along with Glenn, T-Dog, Andrea, Morales and Jacqui. They were to head out a day from now. I was nervous for them.

That meal I focused prominently on the small flame of the fire. I hardly ate anything at all. I was sore, tired, and I had too many questions floating around in my head, but one thing seemed to stick out among he rest. Something about Daryl had been bugging me. I snuck a peek through my hair towards him. I froze when his set of crystal eyes met mine. I choked slightly on a piece of food in my mouth and patted my chest as I swallowed, my cheeks flushing red.
I received several looks from people around me. Amy smiled at me,

"Yah alright there?" I laughed nervously and nodded. I quickly got up and said my good nights to everyone, ignoring Shane's comment to 'Sleep well.' I laid in my tent that night driving myself mad. Was I overreacting?

To what? I hadn't known why his earlier questions and the feelings he'd provoked from me were setting my mind off. I sighed and tried breathing exercises, to calm myself and relax enough to get to sleep, I was exhausted but I'd never be able to fall asleep with my mind running Ninety to nothing. Eventually I'd been able to relax enough to close my eyes.

I'd heard him walk by my tent and get into his, then all was silent. I soon after fell asleep.

I awoke somewhat early. I felt like shit, I probably looked it too. I'd slept horribly, the little sleep I'd gotten had been riddled with weird dreams that didn't make any sense. I hadn't bothered pulling my hair back since it was still somewhat cool from the night. I'd changed and joined Amy, Andrea and Carol to do laundry. It was a nice quiet morning, the cool air, while slowly fading, felt good against my skin.

We'd somehow gotten into conversations somewhat sexually oriented...okay completely sexually oriented. It astounded me how we'd gotten from the subject of needing new clothes for everyone, to past boyfriends, to sex. I finally understood, THIS was why men could NEVER understand how a woman's mind works...because we don't even know how our selves. Granted, these women probably missed the company of another.

Even Carol, Her husband, Ed whom I'd had the displeasure of meeting- was a controlling asshole..and abusive. I couldn't picture how little Sophia could have ever been created with a man like that. The stories of how their virginity had been lost shocked, provoked laughter had entertained us all. Carol claimed Ed had been her first, but I didn't believe for a second it was true and called her out on it, she just smirked and continued scrubbing a shirt. I knew it.

I'd laughed until I'd cried at some of the stories, until it became my turn to divulge my juicy secrets. Andrea nudged me in the rib and I flinched,

"Well come on Farah, tell us how you lost it ." Giggles came from Amy and Carol, I hadn't been this open with anyone in such a long time. Or ever. I bit my lip, rubbing a shirt to get a stain out. I tried to think back,

"Well...um." I looked over at the girls, they all stared at me, eager to hear me gush. I drew in a deep breath and continued.

"-Uhh, okay. Well. It was when I was 14?...I'd come out here to spend the summer with my grandparents. I had a friend with a named Anna Marie, I'd known her for years, her parents knew my grandparents really well. Anyway- she had this group of crazy friends, they uh, liked to party and get all kinds of crazy. I'd never been to an actual party before. One night we'd hitched a ride with some of her friends to a big party one town over.."

I stopped scrubbing the shirt and rinsed it,

"-I remember that was the first night I'd ever drank or tried pot."

I heard an 'ooooh' from Andrea as she nudged me. I laughed a little,

"-I don't remember much after I had a few shots, there were people everywhere. This one guy, I can hardly remember his face, but his eyes were so...mesmerizing. We'd started dancing..and then we wound up out back of the house in the trees.."

My thoughts swarmed as I remembered bits and pieces, the sensations he gave me, his rough hands roaming all over my body. I began to blush,

"I remember at first I was excited, then I started second guessing myself. Hell, I was so wasted by then that even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't stop. It hurt, he was...well endowed. I bled and I wasn't expecting that. Somehow they'd failed to mention that part to me."

Amy made and 'ouch' face, I agreed.

"And you know...the one thing I got SO mad about? I'd lost one of my earrings. It was a beautiful set my grandmother had gotten me, I was so heart broken. They were little wolves made out of ivory-"

"I fuckin' knew 't!" The girls and myself jumped, I spun around and there stood Daryl. He looked, bewildered. His short blondish brown hair stuck to his face in a sweat from the already heated air. I'd never seen this side of him before, it kind of scared me actually.

"What?" Andrea quizzed, her eyes as wide as mine, Daryl stepped forward and tossed something at me, I fumbled and caught it. I stared into my palm, my breath caught in my throat. What the fuck was this? Some kind of sick joke? I looked up at Daryl, narrowing my eyes,

"What is this? HOW did you get this?!" I stood up and dropped the shirt I'd previously been washing. The other women stood too, confusion plastered on their faces. Daryl stared at me, hesitating for a moment,

"Yah' left 't, that nigh'...I found it 'n th' dirt...." My thoughts clicked, all at once as if some huge switch had been flipped on in my head. The word I'd been searching for to describe all the feelings he'd given me the other day, his demeanor, his eyes.

Familiar.

"Oh my god!" I almost shrieked. Dropping the trinket in my hand, Amy picked it up and looked from Daryl to me then to Daryl again.

"What?..it's an earring...Oh my God.." I didn't let her finish as I spoke,

"It's you, you're the guy from that night.. how?" Gasps sounded from behind me,

"What?! How is this even possible? But you two just met the past couple of days-" Carol had her hands over her mouth, disbelief apparent in her face.

Daryl looked just as dumbstruck as I was. I felt my heart pounding, suddenly all the emotions and sensations, memories struck me at once. My knees felt like they'd give out any minute, and I began to sweat.

Daryl couldn't even find words while trying to process the information.

I felt my head spinning, that night, flashes of how close our bodies had been, the feelings he gave me. The places they came from, I felt like laughing, screaming and dying all at once. How could I have not made the connection? Was it just too much to process?
Of course I'd been wasted that night, the pieces all fit together now. My seeing him again had been pretty damn close to the odds of winning the god damn lottery.

But guess what? I won! What were the odds, truly.

I felt my stomach cramp and my face flush. He'd made me feel so good that night and then I never saw him again. Though every day for years I'd thought back to our encounter, and all these years I thought that other earring had been lost, when he'd had it all along.

Why had he kept it? I felt myself moving forward, towards him.. my body was doing what my mind was too flustered to tell it to do. I grabbed his wrist, he drew back slightly but I yanked him after me, he followed silently. A million things running through my head, we left the girls standing, mouths agape. I didn't care, I felt my eyes stinging, I had to get away from them and talk to Daryl. We speed-walked for several minutes until I stopped abruptly, throwing Daryl's wrist ahead of me, he avoided running into me and snorted.

"Th' fuck's 'yer problem?" His eyes bore down into mine, I instantly burst into tears.

I lurched forward and hit him in the chest repeatedly, my fists hitting his worn shirt and his hard chest beneath. He stumbled back slightly and held his arms up to either side of me, but he never touched me. Instead he let me hit him until I couldn't hit him anymore, I felt his hands grab my shoulders gently, his calloused hands causing goose bumps on my skin.

"Y' done?" I felt his eyes on me, but I refused to meet his stare. Words burst out of my mouth without my consent,

"I can't believe it was you! I was feeling all these weird feelings and I didn't understand them and I kept comparing them to this feeling I had that night-" I hid my face in my hands and exhaled in frustration. "-We did all those things that night and then you just...disappeared.."

He shifted uncomfortably, and cleared his throat.

"I wasn' sure it was you..M'sorry....had a hunch, Um.." He cleared his throat again and looked around, I'm sure he wanted to be sure no one was around listening.

"Look..'M really sorry." I ran my hands down my face and turned away from him, walking over to a tree. I leaned back against it and slid down the trunk, I watched as Daryl paced over to a small patch of dirt and sit, resting his elbow atop one of his knees.
I watched him for a moment and opened my mouth, slightly calmer now. Slightly.

"How much..do you remember about that night?" I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head against the tree trunk. Here I was again, another fucking tree. He fidgeted and looked down at the ground, his eyes never looking up at me.

"I r'member ever'thin'..." I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. He remembered me, whatever conversations we had that night, everything we did. Oh Christ. I exhaled and slapped my hands over my face again,

"Great, so you remember how stupid I was and how ridiculous I was." He laughed, I jumped and glared in his direction.

"Really? Girl 'yer worried 'bout what a d'generate boy thought 'f yah' at some dumb fuckin' party back 'n th' day?" This shocked me, I hadn't expected that answer from him.

"-S'ides, y've grown up. 'yer a woman now. 'S why I wanted ta' know how old 'yah were. Wanted ta' be sure it was you 'fore I said anythin'." I took my hands away from my face and sat there, silent for a moment. Taking everything in.

"So...since I'm having trouble remembering.. what happened after we..did the dirty or whatever..?" I fidgeted and began absent-mindedly peeling the bark off a stick I snatched from the ground beside me. Daryl fidgeted too, I actually think he was more uncomfortable then I was. Why? He was the guy, I'd probably just been one of his conquests. A drunk/ high 14 year old with the hotts for you was definitely an easy target.
But I'd seen him before with Anna's group of guy friends, we'd never talked before but we'd made a lot of eye contact.

Aside from the familiar mole above his mouth, I wouldn't have been able to tell it was him. It blew me away how different Daryl looked and acted now. I guess growing up will do that to you.

"Mah' old man happened.. aft'r we hooked up his drunkin' ass showed up..threaten'd ta' fuck both our shit up 'f I didn't leave wit' 'im. 'Yer friend helped ya' away, but b'fore th' old man grabbed me, 'found 'yer earring in th' dirt 'n shoved it 'n mah pocket. Kept it ever since."

I remained silent, racking my brain to try to remember all of this, I just remember throwing up and yelling.

"Y' said I took 'yer virginity? Y' told me that nigh' you'd done it b'fore.." His eyes were on mine now. I laughed and raised a brow,

"You believed a drunken 14 year old? It wasn't cool to be a virgin...guys would try shit with me ALL the time because they knew I was. It was like some kind of game to them. I just wanted to get it over with and not have to worry about it anymore.." I sighed and continued peeling the bark off the twig. "-you were the only guy that never tried anything with me when Anna and all her friends hung out, you'd stare at me but that was it. So when I saw you at that party, I'd already had plenty of liquid and smoke courage.."

Daryl laughed and exhaled,

"You an' me both."