Phishing
4/27/2015, 3:31pm
Do you ever feel like you’re floating just below the surface of a pool?
The water sloshing in and out of your ears, muffling everyone’s words into thick blobs like heavy marbles plunking into a bucket...
The fluidity distorting how you view the world in front of you... and of course you can’t breathe? And there’s that - for lack of a better word - sinking feeling that you could just start floating down toward the depths you can’t see...
Sometimes you realize it’s your own immobility giving you that sinking feeling. You conclude that it could all be solved by moving towards the surface to avoid danger. But other times, you still stay immobile. Because part of you knows that you are capable of floating, but part of you also realizes you aren’t floating yet, and that you still can’t manage to push yourself to move out of harm’s way.
I know that’s probably way too specific for anyone to truly connect with. I haven’t even been in a pool in years. But that’s what I feel like right now. That’s the best way to describe this anxiousness of wanting to keep going but wanting to stop getting knocked back, and the only way to do that is to float.
But you don’t go anywhere when you float.
You don’t really go anywhere.
The water sloshing in and out of your ears, muffling everyone’s words into thick blobs like heavy marbles plunking into a bucket...
The fluidity distorting how you view the world in front of you... and of course you can’t breathe? And there’s that - for lack of a better word - sinking feeling that you could just start floating down toward the depths you can’t see...
Sometimes you realize it’s your own immobility giving you that sinking feeling. You conclude that it could all be solved by moving towards the surface to avoid danger. But other times, you still stay immobile. Because part of you knows that you are capable of floating, but part of you also realizes you aren’t floating yet, and that you still can’t manage to push yourself to move out of harm’s way.
I know that’s probably way too specific for anyone to truly connect with. I haven’t even been in a pool in years. But that’s what I feel like right now. That’s the best way to describe this anxiousness of wanting to keep going but wanting to stop getting knocked back, and the only way to do that is to float.
But you don’t go anywhere when you float.
You don’t really go anywhere.