Found Love in a Hopeless Place

I was sitting on my couch, enjoying a re run of
a Criminal Minds episode when it happened.

There was a knock on the door and I groaned in annoyance,
because the episode was almost finished but I still didn't
know who the bad guy or girl was.

I set my ice tea on the table and stood up.
My comfortable clothes were on and they consisted of
a wife beater and a pair of shorts with bats on it.

There was another knock and I sighed.

"I'm coming!"
I replied even more annoyed now.

I unlocked the door but kept it on the chain lock I had,
for safety purposes.

"What?!"
I asked but my annoyance soon disappeared and
was replaced with turmoil.

"Hi, Ken."
the blue eyed boy said.

I blinked and stood in a stupor.
This was not what I'd expected to happen.

"It's good to see you."
the beeautiful man said, then.

I swallowed.
"How'd you find me?"

I whispered more than talked to him, I had no idea
what to say.

"With much difficulty."
he replied, and that was when I heard the anxious and
bitter undertone in his voice.

He had every right to be mad at me, to hate me.
But hearing it, hurt me more than I'd have thought.

We stared at each other for the longest while,
through the small opening I'd created.

"You look good, Jared."
I said, after a few silent minutes.

"If you'd open the door, I could say the same but I
can't really see you."
he said, with no hint of a smile.

I sighed.
"Well, I guess.. You're here now."

I closed the door, unlocked the chain and opened
the door entirely.

"Do you mind if we sit outside?"
I asked, taking a step towards him.

"I don't care where we're going to do this."
he replied.

I nodded.
"Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No, I'm fine."
he replied and I nodded, leaving the door slightly
ajar and walked up to the steps of my porch and sat down.

I waited for him to sit down as well and then waited for
the onslaught of words that would undoubtedly come.

"I'm not here to get into it too much. All I want to know is why."
he said, after sitting down.

"I think you can understand why if you think about it."
I replied, trying to get this over with.

"I've had 10 years to think about it and yet I'm here,
asking you. It should tell you that I don't have a fucking
clue."
he said, harshly.

I flinched at the venom dripping from his words.

"It felt like it was the only right thing to do. It was the only
thing I could think of to save you from me."
I replied, sadly.

"And I didn't get a say in that?"
he asked.

I sighed.
"I couldn't face you. I didn't want to say goodbye but I knew
it was the only thing I could do for you. I'd already done so
much damage and I just thought that this would make
things better for you. I wasn't entirely wrong, you really
look better than ever."

"Don't."
he mumbled, while wiping his eyes.

"Don't, what?"
I asked, confused.

"Try to persuade me to not be mad at you anymore.
I loved you, Kennedy. You left without looking back,
without goodbye and without telling me of your whereabouts.
I've been worried for you, all this time."
Jared looked at me, with some sort of relief evident in his
eyes.

"I'm sorry."
I said, softly.

I really had no idea how to act around him when I felt
the emotions radiating from him.

"That doesn't cut it."
Jared said, shortly.

"I know. I just don't know what else to tell you. I swear
I only did what I thought was best for you. I was killing you.
I was the one responsible for introducing you to that shit in
the first place."
I replied.

"I was killing myself, I made the choice to take that first line
of coke, not you. I was the one who made the desicion to take
that first hit of heroin, not you."
he told me, but I shook my head.

"No, I gave you the coke. I gave you the heroin and pressed
you to try and thus, I made you an addict. You have no idea
how much guilt I've been feeling for the past few years."
I stood up and walked to my front door.
"Wanna come inside?"

He stayed on the steps for a few short seconds before
he stood up.
"Yeah. I'll come inside."

I held the door open for him and allowed him to walk
in, inhaling his scent as he walked past me.
He smelled amazing and he looked even more beautiful
than I could remember. The pictures I had of us were all lost
except for one that I had given a place in my bedroom.

"How about a drink, now?"
I asked, feeling my throat aching for something.

Jared nodded as he looked around my house.
"You've got a nice place."

I smiled.
"Thank you. I've only lived here for a month or two
but it makes me feel safe."

I grabbed us both a coke and handed him one.

He mumbled a 'thanks' before he sat down on a chair
at the kitchen table.

We remained silent for a long while.

"I wish you could see it from my point of view."
I whispered, staring at his eyes, nose and lips.
His perfectly shaped face.

"And I wish you could see it from mine."
he said, looking up at me.

His striking blue eyes caught me off guard once more.

"I was literally dragging you down a little more everyday.
Why can't you see that it's my fault?"
I asked, a little agitated.

"I was old enough to make my own decisions. And that's
exactly what I did when you gave the drugs to me. I
chose to use them. You didn't force them down
my nose."
he'd stood up again, pacing.

"I might as well have. I didn't leave alot of room for
discussion."
I said defiantly and crossed my arms.

"This isn't going anywhere."
he said, then, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

"No, I don't see this leading to a solution."
I replied, burying my face in my hands.

"How long have you been clean?"
he asked after a few minutes.

"It's going to be 8 years in September."
I replied.
"How about you?"

"It's gonna be 10 years in a few weeks."
he replied, shortly.

My eyes welled up.
"See? Leaving you was the best thing I did, because
you quit when I was gone."

"I quit because my brother forced me. I went over to his
place when you left ours and he'd only take me in if
I agreed to rehab. So I did."
he said, leaning against the small bar that divided the
kitchen and the livingroom from each other.

I smiled.
"I'm glad to hear."

"I only did it because I had no money, no home
and no one to share my life with, anymore."
he said, bitter again.

My smile faded as I felt the hurt in my heart.

"You had your family, didn't you?"
I asked.

"You know damn well what I mean, Ken."
he shot back.

"So I should've stayed? I can tell you
that we'd both be dead right about now. We were sleeping
in old, abandoned and dirty houses. We used all the money
we had to get high. We used needles that we had lying around.
We're lucky that we don't have a serious illness. We're even more
lucky we got out of there when we did. And if that means that
you're alive and well, so be it."
I said, flailing my arms around.

Jared just looked at me, expressionless.

I sighed.
"I don't care about the hatred you feel towards me. You're
alive, you're clean. That's all I ever wanted for you."

"What made you quit?"
he asked, after a while.

"I didn't exactly quit because I wanted but because I was
in the hospital and they sent me to a rehab centre."
I said, hoping he wouldn't press the matter.

"Why were you in the hospital?"

I should've known that was coming.

I cleared my throat.
"I was going full out when I left you. I didn't care what I did,
who I did it with. As long as I got myself high, everything was
fine because it made me forget my guilt. And it made me forget
how much I missed you. Until one night I took too much
and I got rushed to the hospital. They emptied my stomach.
It was around that time that they sent me off to rehab. I was
already having withdrawls when they did. I guess you could say
I quit cold turkey. It was hard and there were alot of days I just
wanted to give up. But I did it. Somehow, I got clean."

Jared stared at me, horrified.
"You OD'd?"

"Not really. I guess that's what it sounds like but I didn't
do it on purpose. I was careless and I didn't care if I died or
not. Back then I was more lost than I'd ever been."
I replied.

Jared swallowed and he frowned.
I had a guess what he was thinking of, so I decided to speak up.

"I didn't leave because I stopped loving you, Jared. I left
because I knew that I was destroying the guy you had been
when I first met you. I hoped that when I left, you'd get your
life back."

Jared was silent as he just looked at me.
I kept looking at him as well, taking everything in
once more.
If this was the last time I'd ever see him, I'd at least
remember how he looked today. How he smelled
today. I could live with that for the rest of the time
I had left.

"You didn't even say goodbye. You just left. Why?"
he asked, then. He sounded broken, not hateful.

I was shocked to hear the sadness in his voice.

"I couldn't face you. That night, when I left, I didn't
just leave you. I left a piece of me, too."

Memories of that night flooded back in my head
and I felt the tears in my eyes.

"I forgot alot things from that period of time but I never
forgot how you made me feel. You were my safe haven,
the love of my life. How could I tell you that I couldn't
stay any longer? So I decided to do it late at night, when
you were peacefully sleeping. It took every ounce of
willpower I had to not wake you up one last time to
kiss you, to hug you. But I did because I felt like I didn't
have a choice if I wanted you to keep living. So I got up,
grabbed the things I wanted to take with me and kissed you
one last time and left. I wandered the streets for hours before
I sat down on the street and cried. The rest is a blur."
I ended, wiping some tears from my cheek.

I sniffed and snorted.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to get this emotional. Seeing you
again is just.. It's more than I could ask for."

Jared's eyes softened.
"I know. Seeing you again is.. Well, I didn't realize just
how much I had actually missed you all these years."

I gave myself a few seconds to get it together again and
then sighed.

"Okay. I'm good."
I said, sniffing one more time.

"I'm still mad at you."
Jared said, then.

I nodded.
"I know."

"You were my whole world back then. I thought you were the one
I could always count on and you left me. I don't think I've ever
really come to terms with that. I'm a little hesitant in
letting people in because of it."
he confessed.

"I'm sorry about that."
I replied, feeling another sting in my heart.

"We were living a hopeless life, weren't we?"
he asked, then.

"Yes, we were. But it was even more hopeless before
I met you. I like to believe that if you find love in a hopeless
place, you can find love anywhere."
I replied, with a shrug.

There was a hint of a smile on his face but it disappeared as
soon as it came.

"Can I show you something?"
I asked.

Jared shrugged.
"I guess. Sure."

"You'll have to follow me up the stairs, to my bedroom.
If that's okay?"
I asked.

"Lead the way."

I smiled and nodded.
As we ascended the stairs, I felt the closeness
of Jared behind me and my heart started to beat a little faster.

I took in a deep breath before I lead him inside my
bedroom.

"So what should I be seeing?"
he asked, looking around.

"Over there."
I pointed at the picture of us and his eyes fixed on it.

"I've always kept that."
I said, shyly.

He walked over to the window and picked it up.
"We look so young."

I smiled as he ran his fingers over the picture softly.

He looked up at me.
"How did you get this?"

"I grabbed it the night I left."
I said and walked over to my closet.
"Along with this."

I grabbed a tshirt that had been in my closet for years.
"It doesn't really smell like you anymore because
it's been in my closet for too long. But I sometimes
take it out and look at it. To keep the memories alive."

Jared grabbed the smudged white tshirt and looked at it.
He smelled it and he smirked a bit.
"No, it certainly doesn't smell like me anymore. Thank God."

I sighed.
"I don't know how else I can hopefully make you understand that
you've never left my mind. Not for one second."

Jared looked at me again, with different emotions in his eyes.

"Before you leave again.. I want you to know that I truly am sorry
for the hurt I caused you by leaving. I really thought that I was
doing the right thing but I understand now that I shouldn't have
done it the way I did. In my defence.. Whenever I was with you,
you consumed me. I was always lost in your eyes, they seemed to
hold me captive and I knew that if I allowed you to open them,
I wouldn't leave. You were and always will be the love of my
life even though I met you when I was at my lowest of lows.
You made me believe that I was worth something and for that, I'm
forever grateful."
I felt another lump in my throat and tried to swallow it away.

I couldn't help but wipe a few tears away, that had swiftly made
their way to my eyes.

"Don't cry, please."
Jared said, as he set the picture and tshirt on the bed.

He walked over to me and stood in front of me.

"Look at me, Ken."
he said.

I inhaled and exhaled to calm myself and then I looked up,
into his eyes.

"I think I understand why you left, now. I'm glad you also
kind of understand how it must've felt for me. You were my world
and you were gone without looking back. I thought you were sick
of me, that I'd done something to upset you, for so long."
he said, hurt flashing in his eyes.

"I could never be sick of you. And in the 3 years we were together,
we only had fights about who would get the first shot. Not very healthy
but shit, that was it. We never fought for anything else so how could
you have upset me? No. It was all me, trying to save you from your
downfall. Also known as Kennedy Shekter."
I replied, trying to erase those irrational thoughts from his mind.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I was old enough
to make decisions for myself? You weren't my downfall,
you were the only one I'dve caught a bullet for, back then.
I wanted to be with you through everything. It's time
that you start forgiving yourself and come to terms with your guilt.
You have nothing to feel guilty about."
Jared said, still not closing the inches between us.

"In my mind, I have everything to feel guilty about. I'm so
sorry, Jared. I really, truy am. I don't know how to fix myself
or how to make you feel better but I do know that I'm so,
so sorry."
I replied and the lump was growing in my throat, again.

"Why did you do it?"
he asked, after he'd looked into my eyes.

"What?"
I whispered, looking out the window.

He placed his hand against my cheek and I held my breath.
He was touching me and I immediatly felt the jolt in my
heart. It was so familliar, yet it was all new. Everytime he'd
touched me when we were still addicts, I was high.

He added some pressure and made me face him.

"Why did you leave if it hurt you so much?"
he asked, confused.

"I let you go because I loved you so much. I didn't want you
to face the same future I was going to have."
I said, softly.

"Oh, Ken."
he said before wrapping his arms around me.

I wrapped mine around him as well and couldn't help
but cry. I let it all out, silently. The tears didn't stop
for a long time and I had a feeling Jared held me for
as long as he did, because he knew the weight that had
been on my shoulders for the past 10 years.

When he released me, his eyelids were a little
wet as well, but I couldn't see any tears on his cheeks.

"You need to stop blaming yourself. Start forgiving yourself
for everything you think you did wrong but let go of the past.
You can't change it anymore."
Jared said, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"I can't forgive myself unless you forgive me for everything
I caused. And seeing that's not gonna happen, I doubt.."
I said but Jared placed his and over my mouth.

"I forgave you the second you opened the goddamn door."
Jared said, sincerely.

I felt a weight being lifted of my shoulders.
"You did?"
I asked in a small voice.

"Yeah. Seeing you again.. Brings back alot of good things too,
you know."
he said, with a smile.
"I remember that we had long talks when we weren't shooting
ourselves up. We laughed alot, had the same views in life.
And we both found each other when we needed someone
to give us hope again. I think we did a good job in believing
we could make our lives better. I only wish we could've done
that together."

I smiled a bit.
"How about we stay in touch? We could begin a new part of our
lives as friends?"

Jared smiled.
"That sounds like a good idea, actually."

"Where do you live nowadays?"
I asked him and he looked down at his shoes.

"LA."

My eyes widened.
"You came all the way to Wisconsin?"

"Yeah. I've been looking for you for quite some time and
when I found out you were here, I took the first flight
I could to see you."
he admitted, a little shy.

My cheeks burned.
"Thats.. Wow. Where are you staying?"

He shrugged.
"Probably on the streets. I recall I've done that before."

"Stay here?"
I asked.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."
he mumbled, taking a few steps back.

"I don't want you sleeping on the streets, Jared. Please,
stay here? Take the couch if you want, you can sleep on the floor,
whatever. Just stay here."
I said, pleading.

He sighed and his eye fell on the picture of us together
again.
"We look really happy in that picture."

I nodded.
"Yeah. We were young, stupid and very much in love.
And not under the influence of anything. Look at our eyes."

Jared grabbed the picture from the bed and looked at our eyes.
"You're right. One of our clear moments."

I smiled at the picture.
We were sitting on the ground in some park.
I was in front of Jared but had my back to his chest as close as
I could get. He had his arm around my waist and I had my arms
on his. We were both smiling, Jared was looking at me and I
was looking at him.

Completely smitten with each other.

"I'll stay."
he said, as he was looking at his tshirt again.

I smiled.
"Thank you."

----

We had spent the rest of the evening together, just talking,
trying to come to terms with our new, only 3 hour-old friendship.
When it was midnight I stood up from the couch.

"Well, I'm going to bed. I'll bring you some blankets
and a pillow so you can sleep."
I said and wanted to make my way up the stairs.

"I'll be fine without them but thank you."
Jared said, pulling his shoes off.

I nodded.
"Let me know if you need anything. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Ken."
he replied, before lying down.

I looked at him for a while before walking up the stairs
and closing the door behind me.
I grabbed the picture and the tshirt, putting them in
the right places before crawling into bed.

I lied down on my back, thinking about the evening.
Jared had come and somehow, he forgave me.
I didn't know how our friendship would be because it
was something completely new to me.

Plus, there were my feelings, trying to mess everything up.
The minute I saw him, I wanted to jump on him and
kiss him. I knew I couldn't but god, I missed his arms
around me. When he'd hugged me, I was shot back to the
past, where his arms were the only place I felt safe.

I sighed and tossed and turned a long time before there
was a knock on my door.

"Ken..?"
I heard softly, as Jared stood at my door.

"Yeah?"
I asked, sitting up.

"Would you mind if I come in?"
he asked, his head around the door.

"Of course not, come in. Can't sleep?"
I asked, making room in my bed.

I patted the room next to me and he sat down,
facing me.

"No, I'm afraid not. I keep asking myself
some things and I keep telling myself it can
come in the morning but there's just a few things I'd
like to ask you. Well, one thing in particular."
he said.

"Okay. Ask me."
I said, waiting for his question.

"Was there ever someone else for you?"
he asked, a little timid.

I smiled a bit.
"No. I've done some things I'm not proud of when I'd
just parted ways with you but there has never been someone
like you in my life. I think that's partly because I had high expectations
of the guy I'd be seeing or dating. Mostly, it took me only a week or two
to find out that they weren't even close to the man I wanted."

I saw Jared nod in the shadow and searched the bed until I found
his hand. I grabbed it gently, waiting for his response.
He grabbed mine, too and we sat there for a few minutes.

"How about you?"
I asked.

He shrugged.
"I've had 2 serious relationships after you but they didn't
work out, eventually."

"I'm sorry to hear that."
I whispered as my heart took another hit.

After another few silent minutes, I felt Jared's warm hand on
my wrist, slowly making it's way up.

"I've missed you."
he said, softly.

"If you missed me as much as I missed you, I know.
It hurt. For a long time. In all those years, today is the first
time I feel like a whole person again. And it sucks because I know
that this is only for a while."
I said, as I felt a new batch of tears in my eyes.

His hand had made it's way up to my face and he wiped my cheek
as he felt them fall.

"Why are you crying?"
he asked, shuffling closer.

"I just can't believe you're here, with me. I can't believe
that you've forgiven me for everything I've done. I've hurt you
so much and yet you're here, in my room. It feels like the past
10 years have been erased and that your hand never left my
face, that your presence has always been right next to me. It's
just gonna be hard to say goodbye to you, again."
I said, inbetween sobs.
"Shit, Im an emotional wreck. Sorry, it's been a very.. Interesting
evening for me."

"How about we sit down for a while, and get you
something to drink?"
Jared asked, as he grabbed both my hands in his.

"Yeah, sure. I can't sleep anyway."
I said and untangled myself from my sheets.

As we walked downstairs, Jared's hand never left mine and
I held onto him for dear life.
When I was in the kitchen, Jared released my hand from his
and I got myself some water to drink.

"You want anything?"
I asked, turning to face him.

"Sure."
he asked with a small smile.

I handed him my glass and he poured water in it
before gulping it down.

I sat down on the couch, wiping my nose and watched Jared as he
sat on my table, facing me.

"What can I do to make you feel better?"
he asked, worried.

I chuckled.
"You're here, that's enough. Besides, I actually am happy
but I just dread the minute I'll have to watch you leave."

"If it helps, it's not something I'm looking forward too, either.
Seeing you again makes me want to stay. I just think it's not
the best idea right now. We've only seen each other today after
10 years of not knowing anything about each others' lives."
Jared reasoned.

I nodded.
"Of course, I know that. I can be rational but I just.. I've left
once and I always told myself that if I had the chance to
stay with you, in another life, I would have. It would save us
alot of heartache."

Jared smiled and nodded before turning serious
again.
"You know, I don't think I've told you this but you look even more
beautiful than I can remember."

I felt the blush on my cheeks and faced my hands, that were lying
in my lap.
Jared lifted my head with his indexfinger, making me face him.

"You're still the only girl who's ever had a hold on my heart.
Seeing you today only confirmed what I already knew in
the back of my head."
he said, his eyes burning in mine.

"What would that be?"
I asked, softly.

"I've never stopped loving you. I love your eyes, your lips,
your nose, your smile.. But most of all I love who you
are."
he answered.

"I'm scared."
I admitted.

"What for?"
he whispered.

"The feelings you just told me. I'm scared of them. Because I feel
the same way about you and I can already feel my heart healing
itself, only to be broken again. I can't go through this again."
I explained.

"Why would it be broken again?"
Jared asked with a frown.

"I just feel it happening already when I talk about you,
leaving here."
I admitted, with a small shrug.
"I guess it's because I never thought I'd see you again. But
all of a sudden you're in front of my door, looking perfect
and just like you used to, only longer hair. Have you aged, at all?"

Jared chuckled and shrugged.
"Good genes?"

I chuckled.
"That must be it."

I stood up and stretched myself out.
"I'm gonna try to sleep some, now."

"I'll walk you up."
Jared said, also standing up from the table.

We were very close to each other and I closed my eyes,
trying to keep myself together.

His scent entered my nose, making my knees weak and
my heart flutter.
I had almost gotten to the point where I could move, when I
felt his hand in my neck, before he gently traced my jaw
with his fingertips.
I held my breath, trying to stay still so he wouldn't stop.

"You still love me?"
he asked, with a soft voice.

I opened my eyes and let out the breath I'd held.
"I never stopped loving you."

As he moved closer to me, I bit my lip, not knowing what to
expect. I didn't want to hope for more so I didn't allow
thoughts of lips or skin firmly pressed against mine, in my head.
Time seemed to move slowly, like everything happened in slow
motion.

I didn't move an inch, I just waited for what he was going
to do next.

"I've never stopped loving you, either."
he whispered before pressing his lips against mine,
gently.

My body immediatly responded and I wrapped my arms
around his neck, pressing my entire body against his.
Jared wrapped his arms around my waist, leaving no room for
air between us.

We stood there for minutes, until we pulled away and I
released myself.

"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away."
I said and made my way to the stairs.

"Where are you going?"
Jared asked, grabbing my hand.

"Oh, Jared. This wasn't what you had in mind when you
came here. You were mad at me and now, we're making
out in my livingroom. Are you sure this is what you want?"
I wondered out loud.
"I mean, are you really not mad at me anymore? I can't
imagine that, after what I did. Or is this some trick to get
back at me for what I did? Kissing me, maybe even more
and then when I wake up tomorrow morning, you're
gone, just like I was?"

I blurted out the biggest fear I had, without thinking.
Jared pulled me into him and pressed his lips against mine
for the second time that evening.

Everything I wanted to say went out the door and I felt
the same response to him as the first time he'd kissed me.

When he pulled away he looked me in my eyes and
made me face him.
"I would never to that to you. And no, this wasn't what I had
in mind when I came here but it's really all I want."

I felt my fears and doubts disappear when I saw the sincerety
in his eyes.

I said nothing more as I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs,
to the bedroom. When I turned around after closing the door,
Jared was right there, pushing me against the door, attacking
my lips with his. His tongue slowly made it's way on my bottom
lip and I didn't hesitate to open my lips to let him in.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, getting completely lost
in the kiss I'd been craving for so long.
Jared held me as he walked to the bed with me and slowly
lied us down, without breaking the connection of our lips.

The only time we stopped kissing, was when I pulled his shirt
off and he pulled mine off. My hands were caressing every inch of
his torso. So familliar but so unknown to me, this body.

I wanted to make sure that we were on the same wavelength so I
broke away and pushed him slightly away from me.

"This is what you want? I don't want you to.."
I was stopped by his lips, finding mine once again.

---

As I was lying in his embrace, I couldn't think about how it
had felt, actually being with Jared again.
It was phenomenal, I had missed him even more than I thought.

"Penny for your thoughts?"
he asked, as he was playing with a strand of hair and kissed
my head.

"I can't really explain everything I'm feeling at the moment."
I said, looking up at him.

"Try."
he said, with a smile.

"I'm.. blissfully happy. But a part of me also wonders if this was
such a good idea. I mean, will you regret this? Will you leave tomorrow
and never call or visit? I really wish we'd thought this through
at least a little. My mind didn't have a say in anything we did, my heart and
body responded to you, immediatly. Like it remember you."
I tried to tell him everything but I found myself failing.

"We've waited so long to see each other again, Ken.
This wasn't what I thought would happen but it's never felt
like this with anyone else. I'm not regretting this, I will
call, I will visit.. Just because we haven't thought about this happening,
doesn't mean that I'll forget about you. Besides, I like the way how you
respond to me. It shows how much you still care."
Jared said, tracing my spine with his fingertips and making
goosebumps appear on my body.

"That's exactly what I mean. We're not completely to how it used
to be but I don't think I want to. You're a different person and
so am I. Let's start over and see what happens."
Jared said as he rolled on his back.

I crawled on top of him and listened to his heart, beating
a little faster and stronger than normal.

"I would love to start over."
I sat up, while wrapping the blankets around my torso.
"Hi, my name is Kennedy Shekter and I used to be a drug
addict. I left the man I've never stopped loving so he could have
a future but he found his way back to me. It's nice to meet you."

I held out my hand and Jared shook it, with a smile.

"Hi, I'm Jared Leto. I used to be a drug addict and I met the
most beautiful girl back in those days. She never left my mind,
not even when I got clean and never heard from her. I found her
the other day, went over there and now, I'm never letting her go.
Nice to meet you, too."

I smiled and placed my head on the pillow, next to him and
wrapped my arm around his torso. I pretty much got my entire
body wrapped around him in some way.

"I'm sorry I never let you know where I was."
I said, as I kissed just beneath his earlobe.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, we just met."
Jared answered with a frown.

I laughed and nodded.
"Okay. I'll stop apologizing."

"Good girl."
Jared patted my arm.

"For now."
I added in a mumble.

Jared rolled his eyes.
"Just sleep. I'll be here in the morning."

I looked up at him, wanting to see his eyes.
"Promise?"

He looked at me and nodded.
"Promise."

There was no doubt in his eyes and I sighed.
"Okay. Goodnight, Jared. I'm glad you're here
with me."

I closed my eyes and felt Jared's lips on my forehead.

"I'm glad to be with you, too. Goodnight. I love you."
he said.

"Love you, too."
I responded and found myself dozing off.

Never, in a million years, could I have thought of this.
But I wasn't complaining. I had the love of my life back
and this time I would never leave him like I'd done,
so many years before.