Big Girl Panties

“You’ll be fine. It’s only twelve hours…fifteen at the most.” Abby Sharp handed Madelyn to a seemingly uneasy Trixie as Patrick gave Dan the diaper bag and travel playpen.

“I already fed her breakfast and she’ll eat again around noon before a nap at one. There are diapers, a sippy cup and a pacifier in the bag.” Abby gave the run down to Trixie before turning to her year and half old daughter and crooned, “I’ll see you tonight baby girl. Mommy and daddy love you.”

Trixie turned to Dan with an apathetic look and pure fear in her icy eyes. He couldn’t blame her, this was the first time she had been in charge of any human under the age of thirteen since she was seventeen and looking after the neighbors kid. It had been the combined idea of Patrick Sharp and Daniel Carcillo to give Trixie the responsibility of Madelyn Grace for the day to ease her nerves of motherhood. After flipping through the pages of Motherhood magazine she had nearly broke down into tears, realizing she wasn’t ready.

“Don’t worry.” Patrick reassured. “Believe it or not, she isn’t breakable.”

After giving a kiss to his daughter’s forehead, Patrick gave her a small wave and followed Abby down the hall to the elevator as he planned to spend the rest of the childless day with his wife…in bed. Closing the door shut, Dan set the bag down on his kitchen counter and watched Trixie with a close eye as she balanced the toddler on her hip, pacing around not sure what to do with her.

Trixie sat down on the sofa and placed Madelyn on her lap, who grabbed Trixie’s index fingers and smiled. “So far so good; no tears.”

Snatching the pink sippy cup from the pink and brown diaper bag, Dan filled it with the last of the milk that was left in the fridge making a mental note to pick up more. He smoothly trekked in to the living room and watched Trixie with a keen eye as she laughed and made faces with Madelyn.

“See, it’s not so bad.” Dan laughed.

Trixie tried prying Madelyn’s fingers off the lock of hair she was pulling from Trixie’s head. “Easy for you to say, you don’t have a toddler pulling your hair.”

When the youngest Sharp member saw Dan with her sippy cup, she immediately let go and reached out for it. Dan smoothed the girl’s blonde hair and found his belly fill with a joy he couldn’t exactly explain. Watching Trixie hold and interact with Madelyn gave him the feeling of Christmas morning and his birthday rolled up in to one.

As Trixie’s belly grew bigger and bigger each week, he couldn’t wait until the day he could lay in the hospital bed beside the love of his life and hold his son in his arms. A family was something Dan knew he had always wanted but it was something he wasn’t sure he would ever get. Now, that dream was growing closer with each day and in his heart he knew a day with Madelyn Grace was exactly what Trixie needed for the same feelings he felt to burn inside her.

Snapping himself back to reality, Dan grabbed the travel playpen and brought it into the living room. To make room for it he had to move the coffee table which Trixie protested as she was resting her tired feet on it. He quickly set it up, having done it several times as he was the uncle to the daughter of his older brother.

“Okay, Trix,” Dan breathed out. “I’m taking off.”

Jumping to her feet, Trixie repositioned Madelyn in her arms and followed Dan to the door where he grabbed his gym back and slung it over his shoulder. “You can’t leave me here. What if she starts crying?”

Fishing the keys from the depths of his jeans front pocket, Dan hit Trixie with a kiss. “Then you figure out what she needs. I love you.”

It wasn’t exactly the moment Dan wanted to drop those three words but it was the perfect one as he knew Trixie needed to hear them. The smile on her face said it all. “I love you, too.”

Trixie closed the door as Dan exited to the hall before beginning to pace the living room of the silent condo. “Looks like it’s just the two of us, kiddo.”



It was a bright sunny day without a cloud in the sky in the Second City. Breezy and cool, perfect jeans and sweatshirt weather which meant for Trixie perfect weather to bring Madelyn to the park. She was sitting on a large blanket with Madelyn who entertained herself with the toys Trixie had spread out around her while Patrick Kane enjoyed the sub sandwich he had picked up at Jimmy Johns.

Not wanting to be alone at the park she called her close friend who she knew wouldn’t say no to giving her company as it was an excuse for him to also enjoy the perfect late March weather. The first thing he did was joke with Trixie when he arrived, picking Madelyn up and examining her for any new bumps, bruises and scrapes and giving a sigh of relief when none were found.

“What are you so freaked out about?” Patrick asked, snapping Trixie’s gaze away from the munchkin. She hadn’t taken her eyes off the kid since the second Abby and Patrick dropped her off.

“That something bad will happen.”

Patrick handed the turkey on wheat sandwich he had picked up for her before digging in to his own bag of chips. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? She runs around like a normal kid and scrapes her knee? Trix, you’re having a boy, scraped knees are the least of your worries. Wait until he laces up a pair of skates.”

His words didn’t exactly put her at ease. “What if I screw her up somehow?”

“You’re not gonna screw her up. And, don’t you think Abby and Sharpie think the same exact thing? Every parent does and what I can’t figure out is why you’re so damn terrified. Half the time you don’t even acknowledge the fact you’re pregnant which is one of life’s greatest gifts. Dan is beside himself with joy and ready to jump for anything you and the baby need and want. Get over yourself, Trixie, your son is coming in five short months whether you’re ‘ready’ or not. It’s time to put on your big girl panties and grow up. I know, Dan knows and everyone who has ever met you knows you will be a fantastic mother, except for you. Believe me when I say you’re going to be the best and coolest fuckin’ mother any kid could ask for.”

Trixie was left utterly speechless by the words Patrick had spoken. Nor could she believe that Patrick Kane was telling her to grow up. The sad truth of the reality was that everything he had said about her needing to get over herself and putting on her big girl panties was the truth. She was acting more like a baby than the one she was working on growing.

“He told me he loves me.” Trixie looked over to Madelyn and pushed hair out of her eyes as she sucked on the potato chip Patrick handed her.

“What did you say?”

“I told him I love him, too. I really do love him and I have for probably the last year and a half.”

Patrick smirked. He realized if Trixie O’Callahan could find love then maybe there was hope for him, too. As Trixie reached for Madelyn and began tickling the girl’s tummy, the infectious laughter of both the girls gave hope to Patrick that his words had set in and he wished Dan had been there to see the abrupt transformation of Trixie.



By the time Trixie strolled into Dan’s condo it was a quarter after five. The most divine scents filled her nostrils as she followed Madelyn through the doorway. She had been babbling and giggling and Trixie followed along, responding to the limited vocabulary Madelyn possessed.

“Where were you two at all day?” Dan probed as he tossed a dishtowel over his shoulder and rested his arms on the countertop.

Trixie hoisted Madelyn up on to one of the chairs around the kitchen table as she moved about to rinse and refill the sippy cup. “We went to the park where we had lunch with Kaner and swung. And then we walked down Michigan Avenue for bit before coming back here.”

Dan looked over to Madelyn who looked beyond exhausted from the day she had spent with Trixie. He quickly realized having her over a few times a month for the next five months probably wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“Come here and taste this.” Dan urged Trixie as he made his way back to the stove and lifted the lid to the pot and stirred its contents. “I made sauce.”

Grabbing a tablespoon from the drawer, Dan dipped it into the fresh tomato sauce and handed it off. The look that washed over Trixie’s face as she let it seep into her taste buds proved she found it to be amazing. “That’s really good. Who knew you could cook.”

Wrapping his arms around her from behind, Dan rubbed the bump which was hidden under the pullover sweatshirt. “That’s about as much as I can cook. My mother’s sauce and meatballs is way better than mine. When she comes into town, she makes a huge pot and freezes it for me so I can have a little taste of home.”

Trixie suddenly became embarrassed by the fact she had never once asked Dan about his family during near two years they’ve been sleeping together. The only things family related she knew about him had come from him slipping it casually into conversation or from her reading it off his Wikipedia page. “I can’t wait to meet your family.”

She could feel him begin to smile as he placed butterfly kisses on her neck. “How about you go shower and get comfy and I’ll finish cooking and watch over Madelyn.”

“Sounds good to me.” Grabbing one of the meatballs that were resting on a plate beside the stove, Trixie sank her teeth into it while enjoying its deliciousness as made her way down the hall.

By the time Trixie finished showering and changed into a pair of sweats and a tank top, Dan had finished cooking and had two plates sitting on the table. She had found Madelyn sitting in her chair, a wide smile on her sauce covered face with a handful of noodles as she fed them to Dan. That was a sight that nearly caused Trixie’s heart to explode in her chest and with her hormones running havoc, she couldn’t control the tears. She wiped them quickly and quietly before making her presence known.

Grabbing two Diet Cokes from the fridge Trixie slid into the chair across the circle table from Dan and handed him one. He smiled and grabbed her hand, giving it a tight reassuring squeeze and rubbed her knuckles before they both dug in to the first meal Dan had cooked for the two of them. As she looked at Madelyn and laughed at the shirtless sauce covered muchkin, there was no denying Trixie had finally put on her big girl panties. If she was going to be a mother, there was no other person than Dan she could imagine having a child with.

“Have you ever thought of marriage?” Dan asked smoothly.

Trixie was just about to shovel another bite of spaghetti into her mouth but stopped half way and set her fork down. She hadn’t. Marriage wasn’t exactly something that had come to mind the second she saw those two bold lines show up on the pregnancy test. “Not so much. Have you?”

Dan twirled noodles on his fork, too and at first seemed almost embarrassed to look up at Trixie but eventually his eyes finally met hers.

“I have. I mean we’ve been together for almost two years and ever since we found out you were pregnant it is something that has been on my mind.”

Trixie wanted to correct him and remind him that it wasn’t exacting dating they had been doing for the last two years. Technically they’ve only been a couple for almost three weeks.

Dan continued. “There’s no doubting anymore you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and I’m not just saying that because we’re having a kid. Sooner or later we’d have ended up together.”

Every word he had spoken was true. Chances are they would have ended up together but there was one thought lingering in the back of her mind…a trade. Both she and Dan knew Chicago wouldn’t be the team which he finished his career with (unless he decided he retire now) and Trixie wasn’t sure if she could guarantee him she would follow. In a simple and casual relationship she could easily send him off to his new team after a good luck fuck but marriage meant she would have to go. In turn, she really would be giving up her entire life.

Her silence was beginning to send doubt through his mind and he was beginning to feel like he had just made a giant ass out of himself. “Nothing big though, Trix. Just you and me at the courthouse maybe?”

Trixie sat back in the chair and rested her fork on the plate again. “I’m not doing it because I have to, I’m doing it because I want to and I mean what I say when I tell you I love you.”

“So, you really want to?”

“Want to what? You didn’t ask me a question.”

Dan smiled, knowing he didn’t have a ring or a huge speech prepared but it was spur of the moment. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” Trixie answered. However, it wouldn’t be a true Trixie answer unless she threw something else in. “Eventually.”

Spotting Madelyn had become rather quiet; Trixie turned over her attention and realized she was dozing off. Pushing herself away from the table, Trixie picked Madelyn up and cleaned what sauce she could off the dirty baby. “Let’s get you in the bath and in some jammies and then I promise you can sleep all you want.”