Big Girl Panties

no walk in the park

“Try not to look so happy.” Dan joked.

He cupped Trixie’s cheeks between his hands and placed a warm kiss to her suspecting lips. Having folded a pair of his jeans, Trixie tossed them on the unmade king size bed beside his half packed suitcase which he would be bringing along with him to Boston. This would be the first time in three years wouldn’t be traveling with the team and it depressed her greatly to be forced to watch the two games, two playoff games nonetheless, from her sofa with a pint of ice cream and a bag of chips. The last time she had been forced to stay at home was when she had come down with a nasty case of the flu along with several other players.

“I am happy.” Trixie’s tone contradicted her words as did her facial expression. She was far from happy. “Do you really have to go?”

Even though it was only three days, the idea of being away from Dan for that long wasn’t sitting well with Trixie especially in light of the latest complication that come up in her pregnancy. She hadn’t expected gestation to be as hard as it had been for her; Trixie had expected it to be a walk in the park. That was the impression she had gotten from Abby Sharp and Kelly Rae as their pregnancy’s seemed to have gone smoothly. She was jealous of the fact they had been given the green lights from their doctors to fly while they were pregnant and Trixie was denied by hers until her next appointment.

Dan grabbed the clean clothes Trixie had folded and placed them neatly in the suitcase. “I’m sorry I won’t be able to come with you to your appointment tomorrow. But, you’ll have the next best thing.”

He was right about that. Dan’s mother had insisted on flying from Toronto to Chicago to spend a few days with her daughter-in-law in the absence of her son and be there for Trixie during this difficult time. They were all praying for good news, but with the way she really had been feeling (not what she was telling people) it was quite obvious what her doctor would tell her.

“Call me the second you hear news.”

Dan was trying his best to stay strong and put on a brave face for his wife but at times it was difficult. He knew for a fact he wouldn’t be getting much sleep in Boston, afraid he’ll miss a call from his mother or Trixie. At their last appointment, her doctor had stressed his concern and strong feeling that Trixie wouldn’t make it to 40 weeks before she gave birth and the thought of premature labor frightened no only the parents and grandparents-to-be but also those in their inner circle. With no signs of her preeclampsia going away and only progressing, Dan and Trixie kept it a secret from everyone that the doctor had expressed the possibility of her even making it to thirty-five weeks. That was only if Trixie took her doctor’s orders of bed rest and stress free environments seriously. Everyone knew Trixie’s stubbornness and her inability to take it easy.

However, the one shred of hope that Trixie and Dan were holding on to was that they were assured fetal development was right on schedule and not compromised and with new medical advances they shouldn’t worry too much about their baby if preterm labor became a reality. Trixie knew she couldn’t crumble, she had her big girl panties and was ready to face anything that was thrown at her.

“How are you felling?” Dan asked with concern. Trixie just didn’t seem right to him.

She rubbed her temples forcefully. “My head is pounding and my eyes feel like they’re going to pop out of the head.”

Stepping away and heading into the bathroom, Dan wet a washcloth under the faucet and returned to place the warm cloth on the back of her neck. He told her to lay down and that’s exactly what she did. Dan occupied the space beside his wife and brushed a fallen piece of hair off her forehead as she closed her eyes. He could tell she was trying to control her breathing, the anxiety filling her body was palpable and he wished more than anything he could take it away from her. But, his own veins pumped with the same about of anxiety as hers.

“I have a feeling Dan, and it’s not a good one.” Trixie muttered. “Please, please don’t go to Boston.”

Grasping Dan’s hand, Trixie opened her eyes which were glossed over with tears. Interlocking their fingers, she squeezed hard. “I’m so scared.”

Her voice was thick with panic and as he pulled Trixie closer into his body, Dan could feel her heart begin to race. He knew he had to try his best to calm her down as this was precisely the kind of stress Trixie was warned about putting her body through.

“Trixie,” Dan soothed. “Babe, you’ve got to breath with me.”

He could feel the impending the anxiety attack welling within her and he had been coached by the doc on how to keep her calm. Dan squeezed her hand back with the same force she squeezed his. Placing a hand on her chest, Dan tried his best to get Trixie to match his long, deep breaths. He struggled to stay calm, wishing it could all be over. It wasn’t long until Dan could feel Trixie relax against his body as she fell into a state of sleep and it when he realized she was right. He couldn’t go to Boston.



The following morning, Trixie had woken up to find the townhouse far quieter than she would ever like it to be. Dan had left the afternoon before for Boston and she hated the feeling of him being so far from her. She was wrapped up tight in the thin quilt Trixie had put on the bed for the warmer summer nights and she still left groggy and light headed as she sat up and placed her feet on the carpeted floor.

It took a second for her eyes to adjust to the neon numbers on the clock and she thankful she had woken up just in time for Dan’s mother’s flight to land in Chicago. After much instance, Julia agreed to allow Trixie to pick her up from O’Hare. She had wanted Trixie to stay at home and rest before she and Trixie ventured out later to get some baby shopping done before her afternoon appointment with her doctor. It was frustrating for Trixie to have to be seen by her doctor so many times a week but she knew it was only precaution and was willing to do anything to ensure a healthy delivery of her son.

After washing her face and putting on fresh makeup, Trixie grabbed her bag and sunglass before giving Chief a goodbye scratch to the head and headed out. As she walked to her car, Trixie tried her best to stretch out of the throbbing cramp she felt in her left calf but no matter what she did, it wouldn’t go away. She had to remind herself that she could no longer sleep in the awkward positions she once had been able to with no repercussions.
The ride to the airport took longer than she had expected, traffic on a Friday afternoon was expected to be heavy and she cursed herself for oversleeping. When she pulled up to the International terminal, Trixie easily spotted Julia waiting patiently and she barely put in the car in park before jumping out.

“Well, hello, Trixie!” Julia excitedly pulled Trixie into a hug as it had been far too long since the pair last seen each other. Trixie had considered herself one of the lucky ones having a mother-in-law she could stand.

“I’m sorry for the wait, I slept in and traffic…”

Julia immediately stopped Trixie from apologizing any farther. “I told you I had no problem taking a cab to your house.”

Again, she had to stop Trixie from lifting her heavy suitcase as tossing it into the trunk of her car. Trixie knew cab drivers loved taking advantage of tourists, taking the longest routes possible to jack up the faire and Trixie didn’t want that to happen. It wasn’t a problem for Trixie to pick up Julia and she wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. The time she spent with Julia was far better than the time she spent with her own mother.

“So,” Julia looked in the mirror and fixed her hair as it was windblown. “What are our plans?”

Putting into traffic and getting on the highway to head back home, Trixie wished she could further shield her eyes from the sun as she could feel a caffeine headache coming on. “I figured we could go back to the house and eat a light lunch as you get settled before heading downtown to get some shopping done before my appointment. Then, maybe go out and watch the game.”

There was no objection from Julia. Back at the house, Trixie showed Julia to the guest room where she would be staying for the next few days. She had decided to make almost a week of the trip, stay in the Chicago and watch the next few games in Chicago before heading home. Dan and Trixie had made plans to spend several weeks in Canada during the off season, but as of lately those plans were up in the air.

With Julia upstairs unpacking and freshening up from her flight, Trixie was in the kitchen putting together an anti-pasta plate and salad together. Chief sat at Trixie’s feet, passive-aggressively begging for a slice of the cold cuts Trixie rolled and placed on the platter. For every other slice Trixie stole for herself, she tossed one down to the floor where the dog consumed it in one chew. She paid no attention to the music playing the background as she normally sang and playfully danced around the kitchen as she cooked and cleaned but with the nagging soreness in her calf, that was the only thing on her mind.

Looking fresh and radiant as always, Julia made her presence known in the kitchen as she grabbed the glass pitcher of lemonade from the fridge and poured two glasses. As Trixie brought the platter and salad bowl to the table, Julia noticed the slight limp Trixie walked with; she wasn’t putting weight on her left leg.

Setting the glass pitcher on the counter, Julia left the kitchen and grabbed an accent pillow from the sofa in the living room and put in on the chair adjacent to the left side of Trixie. Having spent several years working as a nurse, she had her hunch as to what was wrong. She felt there wasn’t much need to alarm Trixie as she had a doctor appointment in less than five hours and all Julia needed to do was try to keep Trixie off her feet as much as possible.

“Trixie,” Julia took the plates from her daughter-in-laws hands. “Why don’t you go sit down and put up your leg. I’ll get it from here.”

Putting her stubbornness aside, Trixie abided by Julia’s request and took a seat, feeling slight relief as soon as her leg was elevated. Trixie expressed her gratitude as Julia set the plates and flatware on the table and grabbed the two glasses of lemonade.

“Have you two decided what you’re going to do about the nursery?” Julia served herself salad.

Trixie took a deep breath as she really wasn’t sure how to answer that question. “Kind of; we’re going to set up the crib just in case I give birth while we’re still living here, but we don’t really want to do anything until we know where Dan will be next season. I hate this feeling of not knowing.”

Julia laughed. “I don’t blame you. That’s the one thing I don’t think I would have been able to handle…being a hockey wife. Being a hockey mom was tough and I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

Everyone had been so sure in their thoughts that Trixie would for sure stay behind in Chicago, the respect Julia had for Trixie only doubled when she announced she would be leaving with her husband.

“Maybe with any luck, he’ll end up in Toronto. It would be nice to have the three of you close to home.” Julia smiled as she gave Trixie’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

Trixie tried to return the smile Julia gave her but the discomfort she was feeling in her leg had occupied her mind enough to forget all that was going on around her. Julia took notice and realized the situation may be far worse than she had expected it to be. Getting up from her chair, Julia walked over to Trixie and held out her hands, telling her to stand up. Taking her hands, Trixie stood on her left leg first, almost immediately losing her balance as the pain was that great.

Realizing what she had to do; Julia grabbed both their bags before helping Trixie out to the car. This time it was Julia driving.

“Call Danny,” Julia instructed. “And tell him to get on the first flight home.”