Big Girl Panties

long road ahead

Digging blindly in his wallet, Dan pulled out the first bill his fingers grasped as he tossed to the cab driver. When the man yelled back about his change, Dan told him to keep it, jumping out of the vehicle before it had even come to a complete stop. He raced up to the automatic doors of Prentice Women’s Hospital (part of Northwestern Memorial) and was out of breath before he had even reached the front desk.

“Can I help you?” The young blonde woman in pink scrubs asked.

“I’m looking for my wife. Laura Carcillo.”

Running both hands through his hair, Dan wished he had charged his phone that morning at the hotel in Boston, but had he left it sitting in his room during the team lunch, he never would have gotten the call from Trixie that she was being admitted to the hospital. He knew it had been a mistake for him to fly out with the team to Boston and he was beyond thankful that he had been able to jump right on a flight from Logan Airport which made a layover in Chicago on its way to Las Vegas. His phone had died before he had even boarded his flight, only going by half the text he had read before it shut off.

The amount of time it was taking for the nurse to look up her room number was antagonizing. Dan was trying his best to remain calm and not take his fear out in a hostile manner against the woman simply doing her job.

“They just moved her over from the main hospital, she’s in room 5206.” She didn’t even have a chance to direct Dan to right set of elevators before he took off from the front desk. He was a grown man; he figured he would find his way to her room.

The elevator ride to the fifth floor seemed to take longer than it normally would and he followed the signs that directed him to her room. Dan knew he had made it when he saw his mother outside in the hallway, pacing as she spoke on her cell phone. Hanging up, Julia pocked the phone and stopped her son before entering.

Julia grabbed Dan’s arm. He was still dressed in his suit. “What’s going on? Is she okay, is the baby okay?”

“Daniel…Daniel.” Julia tried to get him to focus on her for a minute. “She had a blood clot in her left calf that was treated earlier at the main hospital. Her doctor came to see her and decided with the preeclampsia and blood clot it would be best to deliver the baby tonight.”

Trixie was only a few days shy of thirty weeks.

Tears welled in the corner of Dan’s eyes as it became his turn to pace. Julia continued.

“Danny, you’ve got to focus. Listen to me, I know you’re scared and so is Trixie, but right now she’s calm and for her sake and the baby’s you need to stay calm, too. Don’t go in there all upset and get her upset. She needs you right now to be strong and to hold her hand and to be by her side; these next few months aren’t going to be easy for any of us. We have to stick together.”

Dan pulled his mother into a hug before he kissed her cheeks. “Thank you much for being here with her. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now go be with your wife. The doctor should be back in a few minutes.”

Composing himself, Dan took a deep breath and opened the door to Trixie’s room. He was greeted by the sound of several beeping monitors. Jack’s voice echoed through the room along with the tired voice of Trixie. The television on the wall was playing the pregame show of game 3.

“Hey!” Jack shot up from the chair he was sitting in to greet Dan with a “manly” handshake/hug combination. “Look who’s here.”

“We were starting to wonder if you were actually going to make a flight.”

Trixie looked worn out to Dan. Her skin was paler than usual, dark circles beneath her eyes which were behind the frames of her thick black glasses. Her voice was groggy and her hair was tied up high and tight into a bun at the top of her head. As long of a day Dan had thought it had been for himself, he quickly realized it had been even longer for Trixie.

Heading straight over to the bed where Trixie was laid up, Dan leaned over and planted a kiss to her lips. She tasted of peppermint gloss. “How are you feeling? What did the doc say?”

“One question at a time, please.” Even with the amount of stress she was under, she still had her spunkiness. “First off, I am feeling like shit, but still far better from what I was feeling at eleven this morning and secondly, the doctor said we are having a baby tonight. He doesn’t want to risk anything more happening.”

The couple hadn’t noticed that Jack had slipped out of the room to give the couple privacy.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Trixie grabbed Dan’s hand as he sat on the edge of her bed. As she tilted her head to the side to get a better look at him, he saw the tears roll down her cheeks.

He wiped when away with the tough pad of his thumb. It killed him to see her in the crumbling emotional state she was in. “You and I, we’re fighters…no one can deny that and our son will be a fighter, too. It’s going to be a rough road but Trix, we’ll get through it no matter what happens.”

Bringing his hand to her lips, Trixie kissed his knuckles. “We’ll get through this.” They sat in silence for several minutes, mindlessly watching the television before Trixie spoke again. “On the plus side, I won’t have to endure hours upon hours of labor. Did you tell any of the guys?”

Dan took off his tie all the way and tossed his jacket on a chair off to the side. As he rolled the sleeves of his shirt, he answered her question. “They know you’re here but don’t know you’ll be having the baby tonight.”

“It’ll be a nice surprise for them to hear after the game.” Trixie readjusted the line of her IV as she tried her best to get comfortable. All she wanted was to be in her own memory foam mattress.

Forty minutes after Dan had arrived at the hospital (Julia had left to pick up Dan a set of fresh clothes and Jack had gone with Debra to get a cup of coffee) Trixie’s doctor entered her room dressed in surgical scrubs.

“How we doing, Trixie?” Dr. Hunter looked at the fetal monitor, making several markings on the page before looking at the screen that showed Trixie’s vitals. Her blood pressure and pulse rate were significantly lower from when she had first showed up to the hospital eight hours ago and that was thanks to the amounts of drugs she had been given to bust the blood clot.

“Ready to go home.” She joked. Everyone knew it would a lengthy amount of time before Trixie saw her own bed again.

Dr. Hunter dryly laughed as he pulled the rolling chair up to her bed and sat beside Dan.

“I scheduled you for an emergency c-section and as soon as we’re done talking the nurse will come in here and get things going.” He looked to Dan. “Do you plan on being in the OR with her?”

Dan answered with a quick yes. Never in a million years would he miss the moment of his child being born.

“Okay, I want to warn you about a couple things before we get in there. As soon as I deliver the baby, a team of highly trained nurses and a doctor will be there to clean up and assess your son. Unfortunately, you may not be able see him before I finish closing you, Trixie before they take him down to the NICU. I can’t say for sure, but shortly after his doctor will come up to talk to you two. I’ll see you in the OR.”

It was a frightening thought for Trixie and Dan; their newborn having to spend an unknown amount of time alone in the NICU without them. What caused Trixie the greatest amount of heartbreak was not being able to get the chance to hold him; swaddled tight in her arms. That was the one moment she had been looking forward to since the second the two bold lines appeared on the pregnancy test. She felt as if she was being robbed of that first special moment of bonding that was shared between a mother and child. Trixie knew it would also be tough on Dan, losing that special moment as well.
When the doctor left, Trixie’s parents and Dan’s mom came back into the room where they waited for the nurse to come back with the consent forms and get her prepped for surgery. She signed her name, got her vitals taken once again and after handing her glasses and jewelry to her mother, was wheeled off to the OR with kisses and wishes of good luck. It was thirty minutes before Dan would be admitted into the OR after she finished being prepped. It brought back memories for Dan of his own surgeries to see Trixie lying on the table and draped. Taking a seat at her head, Dan kissed Trixie’s forehead and comfortingly caressed her cheek. Although it came sooner than anyone had expected, it filled them both with an overwhelming feeling of joy that they were would be parents in only a matter of ten minutes.

In the family waiting room, Julia, Jack and Debra sat quietly all keeping their thoughts to themselves. There really wasn’t much they could say to each other as all three were more concerned about Trixie, Dan and their grandson. Feeling his heart rate begin to increase with impending anxiousness, Jack got up and tuned the television to the Blackhawks game in hopes of keeping his mind occupied with something else.

Half an hour after she had been wheeled away, Dan, dressed in a set of green scrubs, entered the waiting room with an unreadable expression on his face. As the two mothers stood to their feet, suddenly becoming nervous of Dan’s demeanor, he busted out with a wide smile.

“It’s a boy!” He raised his hands above his head. “3 pounds, 8 ounces.”