Big Girl Panties

Armed with a coffee and a donut clamped between her teeth, Trixie balanced her phone, keys and cup as she pulled the heavy door open. The blast of warm air was a welcoming escape from the outside chill. If there was anything Trixie hated in the early Chicago morning it was the wind which ripped through her body. Tossing her coffee cup in to the first trash can she walked past, Trixie dusted the glazy crumbs off her fingers in hopes of riding her body of any donut traces. If Patrick Kane so much as smelled the fresh bakery scent on her skin he’d tackle her to the ground and lick her fingers clean.

“Good morning, Miss. O’Callahan.” Stephan was a security guard who Trixie remembered from the old Chicago Stadium. He was there every game to bid her a friendly hello as she and her brother raced through the hallway to meet their father right outside the changing room. Trixie could still feel the chill breeze that wisped across her face when Jack skated around the ice with her in his arms after practice somedays and the loud, spine tingling cheers during the National Anthem of ‘92’s All Star Game still could be heard in the back of her mind.

“Good morning.” She replied back in the same happy tone. Although she hadn’t gotten much sleep in the hours leading up to the day, Trixie was a cordial person as long as there was caffeine in her system. There was no keeping the muscles in her face from smiling as she made her way deeper into the changing room. The loud laughter of men and the voices spilling dirty jokes and stories from their previous night’s adventurous gave Trixie relief no one had her on their mind.

The room was filled with media personnel, asking questions at a rapid fire pace and shoving microphones and tape recorders into their faces as they got their answer. When he spotted her dropping her bag in the hall, Patrick Kane winked and smiled glad to see one of his favorite girls seemed to be back feeling 100%. What he didn’t know was that her stomach was churning inside, rejecting the coffee and donut she had craved.

With the elastic around her wrist, Trixie tied her hair back into a sleek tail and wasted no time getting down to business. Pushing up the sleeves to her Blackhawks sweat jacket, she turned on the sharpener and picked up the first pair of skates. She peeked inside the tongue, looking for the number with determined whom they belonged to. When the season had first started, a few of the rookies had taken the liberty of writing down their measurements and taping it the wall in front of her. With the amount of experience she had, all Trixie really needed was their height and weight. With that, she could easily figure out how hollow they needed to be.

She had been at it for nearly half an hour when most of the guys were released from the grips of the sports media. Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews in particular, nearly pushed each other down as they dashed to Trixie.

“How’d your date go?” Jonathan crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the 5’5 woman.

Patrick pulled back the wrapper of his protein bar, having a much different and more important—in his mind—question. “Did you bang? Did you made him wear his hat like you made the firefighter last month wear his helmet?”

It was at that moment Trixie realized she should probably do one of two things: invest in more female friends or stop giving details of her sex life out to Patrick Kane.

“You made that dude wear his helmet while you banged?” Jon asked in amazement.

Deciding to answer his first question before they could become any more intrusive, Trixie momentarily quit sharpening Bollig’s skates. “The date was very fun and no, Patrick, we did not bang.”

Jonathan smiled, holding his hand out to Patrick who slapped a crumpled twenty dollar bill in his palm. Trixie, however, was not amused.

“Really? That’s what you think of me?”

“Don’t take it personally.” Jonathan started.

“We were getting drunk last night and betting on random shit. I lost forty on Sharp because I was sure he wasn’t gonna get laid last night.” Patrick hung his head low realizing drunk gambling, or sober gambling for that matter, was something he should stay away from all together.

Rolling her eyes and turning back to the sharpener, Trixie went back to work. There was no use in her trying to under what went on in the minds of Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews. What she did come to realize was that neither of them should have access to an ATM after a hard night of drinking and she was rather surprised to see them at the UC with little trace of a hangover. But, she knew that meant nothing considering she was covering up the fact she was concentrating on not throwing up.

“Hey, babe,” None of the guys called her ‘babe’ she was quick to correct those who called her by that name. Besides, everyone knew that in the locker room she went by the name of O.C. It was the same nickname her father been given and Trixie had showed herself worthy to be given the prestigious name. When both O’Callahan’s were in the locker room together though, it did become slightly confusing.

Trixie stopped her work again to look over at Dan with a smile. As she took his helmet he placed a hand on her lower back. Jon and Pat were shocked and unable to put an intelligent thought together yet alone comprehend the conversation going on between Dan and Trixie. They watched with wide eyes and dropped jaws as she tightened a screw, sprayed down the inside and handed it back. There was only one word to describe the current state of Trixie; giddy. It was something no one suspected Trixie would ever be overcome with.

Clearing his throat, Jonathan grabbed his skates from the pile and handed Patrick his. Trixie simply looked over her shoulder with an unusual blank expression. “What?”



With the end of her pen, Trixie scratched at her head and yawned wide. She was tired and thought about closing the door to the equipment room to catch a few minutes of peace and quiet. The time on her phone said it was only eleven-thirty. She had been up since five and after only three hours of sleep, her eyes were feeling heavier than cinder blocks. There had been things on her mind that kept her from sleeping, both good and bad.

Trixie had been left to take inventory as Troy and Clint managed practice. The two men had been rather taken back by Trixie’s quick volunteer to spend practice in the equipment room. Normally she fought hard to be out on the benches with the guys. But, on a day like today, Trixie wanted her alone time to gather her thoughts and attempt to figure out what she was feeling.

Under her breath she counted the extra shoulder pads and elbow pads, jotted down the number of extra away sweaters she needed to order and dug through boxes to make sure they enough tape to get through the next string of away games that were coming up. Tucking the pen into the elastic in her hair, Trixie lifted a heavy box from a high shelf and dropped it on the ground with a thud. Her knees cracked as she squatted down and pulled the flaps open and dug through its contents.

Deciding to have Clint or Troy hoist the box back to its spot, Trixie kicked it aside and flipped the light off before exiting back into the hall. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when she caught sight of an unexpected body of the corner of her eye.

“You sure you should be lifting boxes and lugging equipment bags around?”

Trixie knew exactly who the voice belonged to and the way she answered Dan’s question was to show off her manicured middle finger.

“I’ve always loved how feisty you can get. The angrier you are the hotter.”

“I’m about to get pretty damn sexy and punch two more teeth out if you don’t quit talking like that around here. I have a job to do and baby or no baby, I’m going to do it.” Trixie smiled, showing off her own full set of straight, pearly white teeth.

Dan could see the fear in her eyes and he didn’t like it. His voice softened and lowered as he brushed a few strands of hair behind Trixie’s double pierced ear. “You want me to pick you up or just meet you at Northwestern?”

“Pick me up.” Her eyes fluttered and a single loose tear shed from her eye. Her voice was thick was anxiety.

Pulling her into a hug, Dan held her tight and he could feel her wrap her arms around him with the exact same tightness. Letting go of the embrace, Dan cleaned up the smeared eyeliner under Trixie’s right eye with his thumb. He held both sides of her jaw in his hands. “I told you countless times last night and I’m telling you again; everything will be okay. I promise you, no matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere.”

She wanted to say, ‘that’s what you say now,’ but with the amount of support Dan had offered in the last fourteen hours, and for the fact he may be part of her life for the next eighteen years, Trixie was smart enough to know this wasn’t exactly a bridge she should go about burning.

Clint had taken the liberty of cleaning up the locker room after practice as Trixie once again sharpened skates in preparation for tomorrow night’s game. Usually it was Trixie who took it upon herself to that task but she certainly wasn’t complaining. The less she had to do the better.

As she picked up Kruger’s left skate and locked it in to place, Kane come up behind her and stopped Trixie before she turned on the machine. He nudged her towards the empty equipment room which she willingly followed, assuming he was about to ask if she could set him up with another one of her friends. The last time Trixie had done that, it didn’t turn out too well. As women talk, she wasn’t sure if she could convince any of her friends to go out with him.

“I don’t have time for this Pat, I have to finish sharpening before—“

Patrick cut her off and closed the door. “What is going on with you? You just don’t seem right.”

She figured it was her raging hormones, but her heart was slightly touched that Kane cared enough about her to pull her aside and ask. “You promise you can keep a secret?”

“You know I can, I haven’t told anyone about you hooking up with Burish three years ago.”

“You’re so full of shit, you told Shaw!” Realizing this was probably a bad idea, Trixie turned her back but Patrick stopped her before she could leave.

“Trixie, c’mon. You’re my best girl and I see something is up with you and Dan. Tell me, I will take it to the grave.”

Taking in a deep breath, it seemed like a double edge sword for Trixie. She knew that if she came out and said the words, it would make it seem real and in her current mind she felt like if she didn’t say it, then it wasn’t true. It was then Trixie realized Patrick would be the first one she’d tell any way so not waiting until after her appointment really wouldn’t make a difference.


The silence in the car was almost too much for Dan to take. He couldn’t understand why Trixie was so quiet while he wanted to run to the top of the Sears Tower and scream the news to the entire City of Chicago. The first call he would make upon returning to his place would be to his mother, who had been waiting for this moment for some time now. What he didn’t know was Trixie was having the same thoughts in her head only they weren’t exactly as enthusiastic. While Dan saw it as the beginning of his life, something he knew in his heart he had always wanted, Trixie saw it as hers was ending as her career had flashed right before her eyes.

Grabbing her hand, Dan rested it on his thigh and gave it a reassuring rub with the pad of his calloused thumb. “You want me to drop you off?”

Trixie shook her head, somewhat surprising to Dan, He figured with the way she’d been acting she would want to go home to sulk and cry alone. Gripping his hand tighter for the comfort knowing he was still there, Trixie turned her head and blinked her bright eyes at him. “Let’s grab a pizza and head back to your place. I don’t know about you but, I’m starving.”

Dan could tell inside her mind she was really saying, ‘don’t take me home, I don’t want to be alone,’ but not being one to show vulnerability she was masking it. Baby steps would definitely have to be taken and Dan was more than willing to be patient with her for the time being.

After picking up a pizza from Rosati’s they headed back to Dan’s condo. As Trixie entered, she found it rather comical as he stumbled over himself attempting to clean up a little as he wasn’t expecting the two of them to be coming back to his condo. Trixie didn’t mind the disorganization, really, her place wasn’t all that better. The only time her condo did look clean and organized was during the summer and that was only because she split most of her time between traveling Europe and visiting family in her father’s hometown of Charlestown, Mass.

“Grab some plates and I’ll meet you in your room.” Toeing off her shoes, Trixie made the short trek down the hall.

Dan’s room was just as disorganized as hers. Clean clothes still folded in the laundry basket, he had suits hanging still in the plastic from the dry cleaners, his bed was unmade and the black curtains that hung in front of the window blocked out the setting sun.

Plopping the pizza down on the bed, Trixie flipped on the flat screen television as she stripped from her sweatshirt and jeans. Clad only in her boyshort panties and a black wifebeater, Trixie crawled into his bed letting her body sink into the mattress.

Dan entered his bedroom pleased by the sight in front of him. He put the plates, roll of paper towel and four cans of Diet Coke on the nightstand before stripping down to his boxers. It was the perfect way in his mind to relax before the big game against the Wild. It would be an early night for them both. When he crept in beside Trixie, he pulled her in close so her head was resting on his shoulder.

“How the hell did I not notice it?” The question was meant more for herself.

Dan laughed. “You know, ten weeks would put us around Christmas and New Year’s.”

“Considering the week between Christmas and New Year’s was a total fuck fest, I can’t believe either of us are surprised this happened.”

Taking in a deep breath, Dan inhaled her scent. He loved the way Trixie smelled. She smelled like summer with the citrus of her orange scented shampoo and conditioner and cucumber melon body wash and spray.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

Trixie knew Dan wasn’t questioning her physical comfort but rather her mental comfort. A smile spread across her lips which even surprised her. “Hanging in there. Still can’t believe we’re gonna have a baby.”