Big Girl Panties

“What are you still doing here?”

Trixie looked at her watch; it was only 11PM. She was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed Indian style with the left skate of defenseman Johnny Oduya in her lap, quickly feeding a fresh pair of laces through.

“I still have a few more things to finish up. Almost done; I promise.” Trixie smiled as she finished the skate and reached for the right quickly ripping the old laces out. Games on back to back nights were rough on not only the players but the entire organization. They had to work at twice the speed on half the energy with the same precision. It was exasperating and took a lot of Trixie especially when the locker room had to be packed up right away for an away game.

Dan took a seat on the floor beside Trixie, resting his back against the bench and stretching his legs out in front of him. He was dead tired and wanted nothing more than to go home with his girlfriend and lay in bed and fall asleep to a movie. Dan would even let Trixie pick the movie and he had a feeling as to what she would pick. How to Marry a Millionaire, one of her favorite Marilyn Monroe movies.

“Leave it for tomorrow.” He said as he ran his fingers through her long, sleek ponytail.

Turning her head to make eye contact with him, Trixie shot him a not-so-nice glare. She knew he was only looking out for her considering she wasn’t in the best state to be running her body ragged like she had gotten used to doing for so many years. “I can’t. Everything has to be ready for tomorrow night’s game and then after the game we had to start packing.”

Dan cleared his throat. “Have to spoke to Stan yet?”

She didn’t answer. That wasn’t a conversation she was ready to have with him as Trixie feared she would be put on light duty until she became further along. And then the dreaded maternity leave would follow. She was only in the second week of her third month, nearing her second trimester.

“Not yet.” Her mind wandered off into a thought before she continued. “Do you think anyone would really notice that I’m pregnant if I don’t tell them and finish out the season? I’ll be only six and a half months along…they all know how much I love pizza and Chinese food.”

The only thing Dan could do was shake his head at her nonsense as he pulled her face closer to his for a kiss. There was nothing in that moment he enjoyed more than feeling the warmth of her lips pressed against his. From her reaction, Dan could tell Trixie felt the exact same way. He understood why she was so reluctant to tell anyone about her pregnancy. For the last seven years her life revolved around one thing; hockey. It wouldn’t be easy for her come to terms with the fact things were changing and if Dan thought he knew Trixie, he was sure she could come around sooner rather than.

Looking around the locker room, Trixie realized one of Dan’s earlier statements had been a valid one, when he told her to leave it until tomorrow. A week ago, Trixie would have never considered doing that, for she didn’t want to head home to an empty condo. But, this time was different. This time she wasn’t heading home to an empty condo and that gave her a feeling had been longing to experience. Trixie had always thought warm and fuzzies only existed in fairytale’s and happily ever after.

Trixie put Johnny’s skate on the floor beside her and rested her head on Dan’s arm.

“Okay,” she yawned, putting a hand on her belly. “Take us home.”



Daniel Carcillo felt like he was on top of the world as he walked through the doors of the United Center. He was nothing but smiles, with no reason not to be, and ready to lace up against the Colorado Avalanche. He had been given the thumbs up to play the previous night and he looked forward to adding game 24 to their point streak. The hardest thing to do, Dan found, was sitting at his cubby, undressing from his suit and keeping his mouth shut about the bundle of joy he and Trixie were expecting. He was beyond elated at the idea of becoming a father while Trixie didn’t express the same enthusiasm—yet—and kindly asked him to keep the news quiet until she was ready for everyone to know. However, Trixie didn’t know Dan had already told his family and Dan didn’t know Trixie had already told Patrick.

Loosening the knot of this tie before pulling it over his head, it was hard for Dan to ignore the stare of Patrick Kane. It was a look that he couldn’t quite put his finger on and in all honesty it was beginning to creep him out a little.

“What’s up with you?” Dan asked,

Patrick shook his head. “Nothing, man. How are things with you?”

It wasn’t exactly the words that caused Dan to catch on; it was the raised blonde eyebrow Patrick cocked. Quickly changing out of his dress clothes and into his Under Armor, Dan exited from the dressing room in a search for Trixie. He found her where he knew he would, sharpening skates and sipping on a Starbucks in between pairs.

As she finished Hossa’s pair and placed them to the side, she let out a protest as Dan confiscated her cup of coffee.

“Woah, woah, woah. What do you think you’re doing?” She tried reaching for it but she was much shorter than Dan and he held it fairly high above his own head.

“The doctor said no coffee.”

Trixie was starting to get annoyed with his overprotectiveness. It has been less than a week since they went to the doctor and he was already driving her crazy constantly listing off foods and drinks she couldn’t have or taking things away from her she could have in moderation. Like coffee.

“The doctor said I could have one cup of decaffeinated coffee a day. That is my one cup of decaffeinated coffee and I would greatly appreciate it if you gave it back to me.”

Unable to resist the pleading look in Trixie’s eyes behind her thick framed glasses, Dan lowered the paper cup in order for her to snatch it back. She mouthed a thank you before setting it down and getting back to work. After leaving her to do her thing, Trixie had quickly gotten back into her groove, racing against the countdown clock. There was less than an hour left before puck drop and as usual the Madhouse was mad.

A common thought that Trixie had begun wondering was why in the hell it was called morning sickness when it hit at all hours of the day. Then she began wondering if women had been getting it wrong all these years. It wasn’t morning sickness but rather, mourning. That seemed far more plausible considering she cried most of the time she was bent over the toilet on her knees realizing the life she once had was now officially over.

As she refilled the bottles with fresh Gatorade, Patrick Sharp approached her to ask Trixie her opinion on the condition of his stick. She really wasn’t focusing on what Patrick was saying; it was more so on how just the smell of the lemon Gatorade was turning her stomach. She guessed and said it was fine and then realized she’d more than likely be fetching a new stick no more than fifteen seconds into his second shift.

“You okay, Trixie?”

Patrick could tell there was something off about the woman he had grown to know and adore. She was by no means acting right and for the first time in her life, Trixie wished she could ditch out on the game and go home to curl up in a ball and sleep.

“Yeah,” she lied. “Probably just coming down with something.”

What Trixie had failed to remember was that Patrick had just dealt with his expecting wife and Trixie’s signs and symptoms were a striking resemblance to Abby. He kept his mouth shut mostly because there wasn’t any time for him to poke further into her statement and pull it apart at the seams.

“O’Callahan!” She heard her name being spoken in a loud voice. It belonged to Troy. “You’re behind the bench tonight.”

“Wonderful.” Trixie reached for her 7-UP. She quickly realized staying up until the wee hours of the night, tangling in the sheets with Dan had not been one of her best ideas. Trixie was beyond exhausted. It felt as if she hadn’t slept for days.

It had been a stressful to watch; no doubting that. Trixie kept darting her eyes back and forth between the clock on the jumbotron and play on the ice. They were tied, 2-2 against Colorado and Trixie said Hail Mary’s under her breath, hoping and wishing that the guys would either hold the Avalanche off and it into overtime to guarantee a point and continue on to game 25 or score before the end of the period and tally both points.

Trixie could tell Dan had been keeping an eye on her during the game. She didn’t blame him. Even she knew her appearance matched how she felt. Shitty. The clock had hit five minutes when there was no way Trixie could hold back any longer. She was rather surprised she had made it nearly to the end of the game. The nausea had won once again and Trixie reached for the garbage can behind the bench, barely making it back into the locker room before hurling. Once she was sure nothing was left, she cleaned up, popped a stick of gum and ran back to the bench.

With his arms crossed over his chest, Coach Kitchen leaned in to Trixie and too asked if she was feeling okay. She knew it would be a common question for the night and was sticking to her food poisoning story.

Quenneville gave Daniel the tap and Trixie watched as he hopped over the board and skated flawlessly into his own zone. There was just over a minute left on the clock when Dan gained possession of the puck and with a backhand put it in the net. As Dan dropped to his knees after realizing what had just happened, the United Center erupted with cheers and the goal horn screamed as all the guys jumped to their skates. When Dan took a seat on the bench after his game winning goal, Trixie did to him what she did to them all after scoring a goal, a slap to the helmet. But the difference with Dan was she let her fingers scratch at the exposed skin of the back of his neck letting him she was feeling perfectly fine.

Following the game, Trixie watched with a wide smile as Dan was presented with the game MVP belt. She placed her hands on her hips and took the moment to memory. His eyes were on her the entire time and could swear he even winked at her.

The equipment team had been waiting for the mob of media to clear out before beginning the task of packing up. They were flying out to Denver in only a few hours which wasn’t too bad for Trixie as she saw it as an opportunity to get some shut eye. Trixie had started pulling equipment bags out to toss by the respectable cubby when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she came face to face with both Troy and Stan.

“Go home.” Bowman instructed. If Trixie was in fact sick he sure as hell didn’t need her around infecting the rest of the locker room.

“We’ve got it covered here. You enjoy the game tomorrow night from bed.” Troy grabbed the bags from her hand.

Stan had been ready to put up a right, knowing getting Trixie to go home wouldn’t be easy so when Trixie handed the bags over with no protest and responded with four words, okay and see you Sunday, she left the two men speechless. Normally she hated just sneaking out but it was the time that called for that measure. Gathering her coat bag and phone from her own locker, Trixie headed to her car looking forward to at least twelve hours of blissful, uninterrupted sleep. When he returned home, Trixie realized she would have a whole Saturday to properly congratulate Dan on his game winning goal.