The Hollow Days

I still couldn't believe that here I was, sitting in Elliot's own house. I wondered why he had invited me to his room. That was kind of sketchy, even for him. But for the most part, I didn't think he'd be one to use me, but I've had some bad experiences with that. So I'd just take this comfy couch in his living room with the really nice paintings. I could tell he was nervous, from the way he barely looked at me and tried pushing me away.

My mom had literally flipped when I told her Elliot invited me over. She gave me the mom talk before I hopped out of the car, about how to know if he'll kiss me or if he's lying and to make sure to not do anything I would regret. Yeah, like this kid who has given me shit for the entire day would try to have sex with me. That made total sense. But she was doing just what moms do. Worry.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He was so hard to figure out. Too hard.

"Why can't you just tell me yourself then? Then we'll see who's really right about if I'll leave or not." A smile played at my lips, and I watched his green eyes widen for a moment. He kept adjusting his shirt and pulling it down, licking his lips quickly.

"Because I don't want you to-" He suddenly stopped, his expression reading 'fuck my life'. He didn't want me to what? Was this going to be the first really sweet thing he would say? I stood up, walking closer to him and crossed my arms over my chest. I was the type of person where if I wanted to know something, I'd find it out. No matter how many tries. He smelled of cologne, and I breathed in the smell without trying to make it seem like I was actually breathing it in. It smelled pretty good, and his breath smelled like fresh toothpaste. Did he really do this all for me? I grinned big.

"You don't want me to what?" A flirting tone took over my voice, and I leaned my face in close to his before backing away and sitting back down on the couch. I ran my hand through my hair, smoothing it out around my shoulders as I studied his expression. He now had the face of 'kill me now.' I giggled, covering my mouth as I laughed quietly. I saw his lips raise in a soft smile, but then it faltered as he began to speak.

"I don't.. I don't want you to leave." He gulped, covering his face with his hands. "You're the only person that's actually been nice to me since.... since what happened."

I finally got him to crack. The wall he built was slowly breaking down before my eyes. I felt a sense of victory and smiled. All my hard work and seeming creepy had payed off.

"Just tell me what happened. I promise I won't judge you. You have to trust me." My voice was hushed, suddenly in a whisper tone.

"Okay, fine..." He paused, gulping, licking his lips again. I watched him, drumming my pale fingers on my knee in anticipation.

"You see, me and Cyrus, we had a pretty good life. We had so many friends, but he was my best friend of all. I told him everything, and he told me everything. We made everyone laugh, and for a long time life was pretty great. I used to love life. But things change..." He looked up at me, to make sure I was still listening. I nodded, eager for him to go on. He swallowed again, recomposing himself.

"I woke up one morning late last year, about to get ready for school when my phone went off. It was Cyrus's mom. She called to tell me that... t-that he had hung himself on the ceiling fan that morning. I was in shock, and was sure this was some sort of sick joke. But it wasn't. Cyrus was really dead. He had told me about his depression, but I thought it went away. I thought he was getting b-better, you know? But he was gone. I never got to even say good bye. I wish I had done something, maybe tried to ask about his depression. But with the life we had and the way he always acted happy, I just forgot about it, and I'm just so sorry..."

Suddenly, there it was. Elliot was now actually crying in front of me. He covered his face in his hands. I immediately got up and wrapped my arms around him tightly, and after a few moments, he hugged me back. I didn't realize it, but I was running my hands through his brown hair. His tears stained my shoulder. He sniffled, squeezing me harder.

"I'm not going anywhere, Elliot." I laughed quietly. "I promised you that. I'm not like other people."

He backed away, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry for acting like such a girl. I didn't mean to start crying, I've just been holding that in for so long."

"I didn't judge you before, and I'm not going to now. I can't say I completely understand what it's like, because I don't. But I can get an idea of how much that must suck."

A honk came from outside, and I peered out the window to see my mom's car in his driveway. What great timing, mom. I didn't want to leave just yet. I hoped he wouldn't put the wall back up and curse me out tomorrow.

"Here's my cell number. Text me if you want." I handed him a slip of paper and gave him one last hug before walking to the door. As I put my hand on the door knob, I swiveled around and looked at him. He had been staring at me, making me smile. His eyes were still a bit puffy, but he wasn't an ugly crier. He was kind of... cute.

"Feel better, Elliot." I whispered, waving shyly before stepping out the door and heading back to my mom's car.

I couldn't wait to see him again.