A Heart Worth Breaking

I Don't Love You Anymore...

Matthew stood in front of the mirror, staring straight into his own icy blue eyes as he let out a sigh of dissatisfaction. Even he didn't recognise himself anymore, now he could see that it wasn't just people messing with him, he had changed. He had been broken.

His electrically blue eyes which had once been full of life, brimming with endless glistening looks of happiness had now lost the glow that had once surrounded them. They had turned cold; they had started to resemble something almost like pure ice. His rosy lips which were usually pulled back into a smile or holding his signature smirk were now turned pale and expressionless. His hair, normally expertly straightened beyond the point of straight was tied back into a messy ponytail. But worst of all was the fact that he didn't care. He had always been a man who had taken pride in his appearance, always made sure he looked good. But now, now he didn't even seem to care.

He looked at the outfit he was wearing, letting his eyes roam around the shining reflective object in front of him, he took in the jogging bottoms and black vest that was covering his thin frame. Not at all what any of his fans would expect to see him in, but according to her that was the problem. He was too predictable. He had a routine, and what's more, he stuck to it.

He sighed as he watched the door open behind him; he had no desire to communicate with anyone right now. He wanted to be alone, and she had obviously wanted for him to be alone too. He shivered as a draft of air blew in followed by his best friend, Padge closely mimicked by the remaining two members of his band.

''Matt come on mate, you need to get dressed. You need to get out of this bus! You've been held up in here all day.'' Padge spoke harshly, it was the only way to get through to his friend and both of them knew it. Matt knew all too well that they had all had enough of his sulking, but he wasn't fully to blame, and if he was being completely honest, he couldn't care less what they thought.

He shook his head in response, signaling that he had no intention of leaving the back lounge of their tour bus, where he had taken up residence for the past few days, since she had left.

They had been together for almost five years, they were the perfect match. Or so he had thought. Then one day, not even a week ago, she just springs it on him, ''I don't love you anymore.'' How could she just decide that? And after five years to just up and leave, it didn't make sense to him. Nothing made sense to him anymore.

''Get changed. We have an interview in twenty minutes and if you're not there that magazine will have a lot of disappointed readers.'' Padge sighed, knowing that there were only two ways this day would end, either Matt would snap out of his little self-loathing phase, or they'd be minus a singer for the rest of the day.

Then he was alone, a feeling that was becoming more and more normal to him with every passing second. He reluctantly found a pair of ripped jeans and a sleeveless Metallica shirt, something he was sure his fans would approve of him wearing. The typical Metal look. He thought it funny how as a teenager all he wanted was to be able to wear those kind of clothes and look like he did now without being judged, but now that he had that opportunity, it seemed suffocating to him, like change wasn't an option.

He slid the band that was holding his hair together off and raked his fingers through it a few times. His hair was so used to being deadly straight that it knew how to look no other way. ''Straight, black, boring.'' he thought to himself as he walked around the bunk section of the bus they inhabited in search of a matching pair of shoes.

He grabbed a hooded fleece and zipping it up, he left the safe confinements of the bus. Stepping out into the sunlight and bitter British air was something he was not too fond of, it didn't make sense to him how the sun could be piercing through the clouds, yet the air could make you feel as if you were about to turn into ice.

Walking through the lines of fans queued up for the show he would have to play later that night, his expressionless face turned into a glare. Thousands of people he couldn't give a fuck about and had never even met could love him, so why couldn't the one person in the world that he loved... just love him back.

Reaching the door of the venue they were to be interviewed in he slammed it shut behind him, in an act pure frustration. A feeling that seemed to be soaring through his body like nothing else he'd ever felt before. He followed the corridor until he found a painted black door with a sign labeled Interviews plastered across it. Sighing he opened it to see his three bandmates deep in conversation, talking and laughing with each other. His face eased as he saw them, he longed to be able to talk like they did, but he knew that no matter how hard he tried, he'd fail miserably.

It had been days since he had been capable of forming a full sentence, let alone having a full on conversation. She was all that crossed his mind, no other topic even entered his trail of thought.

''Oh you decided to join us! Thanks mate.'' Padge smiled getting up from his seat and giving his fellow band mate a quick hug as he walked through the door. This made a small smile tickle his lips but it didn't last long, no emotion other than sadness lasted long anymore.

They both sat back down again and began to chat about the show they were going to play that night. Well the other three did, Matt sat back against the soft cushions the couch held and listened to his bandmates conversation, reveling in the peace he got while they endlessly bantered on, not bothering to include him in talks, as they knew he wouldn't be up for it.

After waiting patiently for around ten minutes, the interviewer arrived and started with her questions. To Matt, she was quite stunning. She had long black hair dyed with varying shades of blue streaks that littering the jet black mane flowing well past her shoulders. Her eyes were a strange mix of blue and grey and had the ability to completely captivate you with just so much as a glance. Her thin frame was glad with mix matched black items of clothing, jeans covered her legs while a shirt reading the bands own logo clung to her torso.

He had dealt with his fair share of heart breakers, but now it seemed as the tables had turned. He had finally found a heart worth breaking.
♠ ♠ ♠
Comments would mean the world.
Just to clarify, Matt Tuck and all of Bullet for my Valentine do indeed love their fans, it just fitted with the story to say he didn't.

There is a sequel to this!

Matthew Tuck is the lead singer and rhythm guitarist for Welsh metal/rock band Bullet For My Valentine. Just because people were asking who he was. :)