I Only Have Eyes for You

Laugh At My Pain

I was paranoid. What if he thought I looked like a fat cow? I felt like a fat cow. My tummy was exposed and I didn't feel confident anymore. Ripping the sweater off, I grabbed a white one with black cats on it and slipped off the hip-hop pants in exchange to black skinny jeans. I felt a bit better and went to do my make up. It was only 4:30 and my hair looked a little soft grunge. Giggling, I started mixing hair bleach and put on some gloves, wrapping a towel around my shoulders parting my hair I collected the top two layers of my hair up in a bun along with the top layer of my fringe. Slapping on the bleach I smiled, wrapping foil around the chunks. Trotting down stairs like a moron, I looked in the fridge and freezer and decided to eat two pieces of fake chicken strips. Being a vegetarian/mostly-vegan was easy in my family. Waiting thirty minutes, I took the out of the oven and slipped them on a plate. Slipping into the living room, I cut each piece into half's, then so on until there were 16 pieces in all.

It took me thirty minutes. I looked at the clock to see it was 5:30 so I ran upstairs and washed the bleach out. I looked in the mirror, happy with what I saw. I knew I had time as I grabbed the bottle of turquoise hair dye and began to squeeze it on my hair instead of putting it in a bowl. I rubbed it in my hair letting it stick to my scalp. I made sure I got all of the newly bleached hair and decided to watch a movie as I waited. I hard my phone buzz and realized it was a text from Isaac only because he was the only person, besides my family, in Beacon Hills that had my number.

"I can't wait for tonight. See you soon." I let out a squeak type thing and locked the message so it wouldn't be deleted later. An hour later, 6:30, I washed out the dye, seeing a vibrant blue/turquoise laying there. I took my hair out of the hair elastic and shook it out, letting it fall over my face, I didn't bother to fix it, I'd mess it up anyways. I stumbled over my feet walking to the kitchen, not knowing what to do for the next half hour. I thought about the box full of sharp objects hiding away in my pillow case, wondering if it would be okay to make a tiny cut, just tiny but deep knowing the damage I usually do to myself, before Isaac came. I decided against it, so I grabbed my iPod and cell phone and locked myself out of my house. I sat on the middle step, shoving earbuds into my ears putting on something loud.I let my head fall between my knees, and ended up dozing off a bit. It felt like a few seconds when I felt a hand on my shoulder. My head shot up and I did the first thing I was taught how to do: I clenched my fist and swung up, kicking at the same time, nailing the guy in the face and the shin. I didn't stop punching the guy, just throwing punched, screaming.

"FUCK!" The guy yelled, trying to block his face with his hands. "Norm...Norm! It's me, Isaac. It's Isaac!" he grabbed me by my shoulders, trying to get me to stop. I looked at his face, only too see Isaac, looking incredibly scared. I realized what I had done and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"I-I-I-I'm-m so-orry.." I shoved out of my mouth, I scratched at my face, trying to wipe away tears.
"Norm..it's okay, just, are you okay?" I shook my head, trying to pull away from him. "Leave me alone...I need to go inside.."
"But we have a date..." he sounded disappointing, like he was the one going to cry. I looked up at him, confused.

"You really meant going on a date?" He nodded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world..I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, waiting a few seconds. Opening, I gave him a weak smile. "Well, let's go..."

He lead me to a car I had never seen before, holding the door open for me and jogging around the front to get in himself and start the car. He talked to me the whole ride to the movie theater, his hand inching toward my leg. I pretended not to notice but my heart was racing incredibly fast. When we got there, Isaac paid for tickets for the new slasher and serial killer movie I wanted so desperately to watch and he asked me if I wanted anything and I smiled and said no, messing up my hair, seeing Erica and Stiles in line for food items. Isaac said for me to wait right where I was and I nodded, trying to hide myself in the sea of people. When he got back, he had a large popcorn and a large drink that looked like coke but had a pink hue to it, which must have meant he remembered I liked Diet Coke and strawberry Fanta. My dad always said I had a weird taste palette even when I ate regularly...I held the drink with two hands, to be sure it wouldn't drop as Isaac lead me to the theater with his arm around my shoulder. Finding decent seats, as I saw Erica and Stiles enter and sit a few rows in front of us. It wasn't as if i had a problem with them, it was they had a problem with me.
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