Hello Stranger, I'm a Disaster

When I opened my eyes all I could see was a tiny TV sitting up against a dingy wall. A tiny TV and dingy wall that didn’t belong to me. I shot up on the lumpy couch I was lying on. The sun was shining through broken blinds partially covering a small window. Confusion turned into understanding as I remembered the details of last night: I was at Bert’s house.

I remembered meeting him while I was walking home, and he had invited me over. I remembered that we got to his house, and sat on the couch to catch up, and I also remember that I passed out not long after that. After all, I did have a nerve wrecking day. Being nervous always wore me out. I hoped Bert wasn’t offended that I crashed on his couch when he wanted to have a reunion.

I stood up and strode across the room. The apartment seemed to be empty. On the counter I saw a note with my name on it. I walked over and picked it up.

“Gerard- Hey man, what’s with falling asleep on my couch so early? We hadn’t even had a beer yet. You looked pretty wrecked so I just let you sleep, but if you ever come over to my house again, at least bring some booze before you crash. I’m kidding. I had a previous engagement to attend, so don’t wait for me to get home, and dude, quit doing whatever you did to give yourself nightmares like that. –Bert”

Nightmares? I don’t remember having any nightmares. I must have really crashed hard. I crumpled the note and put it in my pocket before I glanced at the clock, yawning. It was already 3:00, how the hell did I sleep on that lumpy couch for that long? Deciding it was time for a cup of coffee I quickly put my shoes on and left Bert’s apartment.

The now familiar ding of the bell announced my presence in the coffee shop for the third day in a row. I expected to see the friendly tattooed barista named Frank at the counter, but this time it was just a girl with red hair. I tried not to think about the disappointment that dropped to the bottom of my stomach as I approached the counter.

“I’d like a hazelnut mocha please.” I told her. She looked at me with a cold glint in her eyes as she handed me my coffee. I sat down at “my table” and rubbed my face with my hands, stifling another yawn.

“If you don’t mind me noticing, this is the third day in a row you’ve sat in here alone.”

I removed my hands from my eyes to look at the smiling face that belonged to the cheerful voice.

His face fell slightly when I looked at him. “I don’t mean to offend you… I… I just noticed you seem lonely. That’s all. I’m sorry.” He began to turn around, but then his face warmed up again as he thought of something. “Hey, I get off work in half an hour. Do you want to come hang out with me?” He raised his eyebrows and a huge grin spread across his face.

I was taken by surprise with his offer, but I had nothing better to do so I quickly agreed. “Yeah, sure, that sounds cool.”

“Cool.” He smiled and returned to working.

I smiled as I thought about what just happened. It was strange that this random stranger had decided to take an interest in me, but it was also nice to feel like I might have a friend too.

I had planned on drinking my coffee and leaving, but now that I had plans I decided to make my coffee last. I didn’t bring anything with me to help pass the time, so I laid my head on the table top until I saw an abandoned pen lying on the floor five feet away from me. I picked up the pen and grabbed a handful of napkins from the dispenser at the front of the shop.

I decide to pass the time by drawing cartoon coffee cups having a discussion about the cruelty acts against coffee beans. I almost forgot that I agreed to hang out with the friendly tattooed barista when he showed up at my table minus the apron and name tag.

“Are you ready?” He chirped.

I crumpled the napkins and stuffed them in my coffee cup. “Yep” I say as I stand up and we walk towards the door tossing my cup in the trash as I walk by. “So, what exactly are we going to do?” I asked curiously.

“I dunno. I hadn’t planned that far.” Frank led me to the sidewalk and around a corner. “For now we can just walk and talk.” He smiled at me. “So what’s your name?”

“Oh, that. My name is Gerard.” Wow, that sounded awkward.

“Aren’t you curious about my name?” Frank asked.

“Well I already know it. I do have reading skills you know.”

“Right,” he laughed. “Sorry, I forgot.” We walked a few steps before he started talking again. “So what’s your deal? You seem to have this mysterious brooding personality.”

I have clinical depression, social anxiety, and no self-confidence, in other words, I’m just all around fucked up. Of course I didn’t say any of that. I didn’t want to talk to him about it. “I don’t know.” I replied pathetically.

Frank made a face and changed the subject. “I’m starving, do you wanna grab a bite to eat?”
My stomach growled loudly in response. A small smile cracked on my lips as Frank giggled.
“I’ll take that as a yes. C’mon there’s a diner up the street that sells great veggie burgers.”

We walked into the diner and the hostess handed us two menus. Frank picked a table and plopped down on the seat. “I’ll never get used to how bouncy these cushions are!” He giggled.

I felt myself loosen up as I saw how playful Frank was being. The waitress stopped by our table with a pad of paper and a pen to take our order. We each ordered a veggie burger and a coke, and she disappeared, off to give the order to the cook before she returned with our drinks.

“So, Gerard, do you have any siblings?” Frank paused. “A girlfriend?” Why does it seem like everyone is interested about my love life?

“Nah. Well, I have a brother. But no girlfriend.” My cheeks burned slightly as I wondered how he would react if he knew that a girlfriend wasn’t what I wanted. I almost forgot to return the question. “What about you?”

“Nope, no siblings. And no girlfriend either. But it’s not like I need one.” He winked at me. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to wink back so I just pretended that there was a really interesting ice cube in my drink.

“Have you finished that drawing of that person you were working on the other day?” He changed the subject.

“No, I haven’t. To tell the truth I forgot about that drawing until now.” I was lying. I hadn’t finished it because I didn’t have enough knowledge about the details I wanted to fill in.

I was saved from making the conversation more awkward when our veggie burgers arrived. We were both pretty hungry so there wasn’t any talking as we wolfed down our food. When I finished my burger I sighed. “You were right. That was the best veggie burger I’ve ever had.”

“I know right?” Frank said between licking his fingers. “Are you tired of me yet, or do you want to go somewhere else? There’s an awesome club right across the street.”

“Yeah, I’m up for that. Definitely.” We paid our tickets and left the diner.

The club across the street was loud and wild compared to the family environment we had just left. Frank had already began dancing as we made our way through the crowd towards the bar. Once we made it through the swaying mass of bodies we sat in the two open bar stools.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a club.” I shout over the music.

“Really? I like to come here a lot. It’s a great place to socialize.” Frank make a gesture to call the bartender over. “We’ll have two rum and cokes to start off.”

I began to feel nervous again. I hadn’t drank in public in a couple years. Recently I only drank to knock myself out. My first couple sips were tentative, but after watching Frank down his whole glass in a few gulps I followed suit. Three glasses of rum and coke later Frank decided begin ordering rounds of vodka shots. By this time I had lost all of my anxiety.

“Hey, Frankie?” I set my shot glass down and he did the same.

“Hmm?”

“What did you mean, back at the diner? When you said you didn’t need a girlfriend? What was that all about?” I giggled, hoping his answer would be something that appealed to me.

“I thought it would be obvious.” Frank practically yelled in my ear. “I don’t need a girlfriend because I like dick!”

I felt like I had just been slapped in the face. I knew I had just asked him that question, and I got the answer I wanted. I just didn’t expect him to be so blunt about it, even if he was drunk.

Frank took one look at my face and instantly sobered up. “Oh shit. G- Gerard, I didn’t mean to say that.” Before I could even respond he slapped some money on the bar and ran out the door. I was left sitting on the bar stool, too drunk to feel shocked or confused.

I was just about to get up to leave myself when I felt a hand grab a hold of my shoulder. I turned around to see Bert smiling at me. “Hey man! I never thought I’d see you here!” He breathed alcohol in my face and I laughed as he tripped over my stool. He was more wasted than I was. “This feels just like old times doesn’t it?” Bert said to me as he ordered us some more drinks.