It Just Takes Some Time
Chapter. 10
I lay there, attached to Derrick with my arms wrapped firmly around his waist. Hanson and Josh were at the other end of the bed passed out, cuddled to each other. Derrick’s breaths were evening out and he whispered something barely audible. “I love you.”
My breathing stopped dead in its tracks. You can call me an anti Christ, a slut, a Brian Kinney for all I fucking care. That all proves I don’t do relationships. No way in hell am I just going to become a shadow and want to be of the heterosexual world. Gays were made to fuck whoever, wherever, whenever they want. I follow that code of conduct.
As soon as Derrick was out like a light, I dashed to put my pants on not bothering with a shirt and straight for a hoodie, slipping on a pair of vans and ran out the door.
Where to go, where to go.
A Wednesday night, what is there open?
I walked around town, ending up at the border crossing into the next town, where a lovely set of train tracks were laid out perfectly.
Perfect.
That’s what Derrick deserves, someone who will live the lifestyle he wants to live, not mine.
What a lovely fucking time for a semi break down right?
I took my seat on the train tracks, avoiding every common sense in my mind screaming at me to get out of there and to go find something else to fuck.
For once, I ignored that common sense of mine and stayed put.
I laid down so my hand was on one metal bar and the back of my calves on the other.
The stars looked dull, worn out, and tired. The hazy overcast shadowed their light and power. Everything seemed a bit sadder now.
And there it was.
The answer to all of my problems.
CHUGGAH CHUGGAH.
Jason don’t you dare fucking move, I told myself.
WOO WOO.
Jason, you deserve this. It’ll be the easiest way from hurting Derrick.
CHUGGAH CHUGGAH
The sounds were getting closer, and more irritating each time.
And I felt it.
The warm breath of the train’s engine hugging my arms.
The initial impact of the moving vehicle.
All so surreal.
Now the cracking.
The breaking.
The splitting.
The blood.
The death.
My breathing stopped dead in its tracks. You can call me an anti Christ, a slut, a Brian Kinney for all I fucking care. That all proves I don’t do relationships. No way in hell am I just going to become a shadow and want to be of the heterosexual world. Gays were made to fuck whoever, wherever, whenever they want. I follow that code of conduct.
As soon as Derrick was out like a light, I dashed to put my pants on not bothering with a shirt and straight for a hoodie, slipping on a pair of vans and ran out the door.
Where to go, where to go.
A Wednesday night, what is there open?
I walked around town, ending up at the border crossing into the next town, where a lovely set of train tracks were laid out perfectly.
Perfect.
That’s what Derrick deserves, someone who will live the lifestyle he wants to live, not mine.
What a lovely fucking time for a semi break down right?
I took my seat on the train tracks, avoiding every common sense in my mind screaming at me to get out of there and to go find something else to fuck.
For once, I ignored that common sense of mine and stayed put.
I laid down so my hand was on one metal bar and the back of my calves on the other.
The stars looked dull, worn out, and tired. The hazy overcast shadowed their light and power. Everything seemed a bit sadder now.
And there it was.
The answer to all of my problems.
CHUGGAH CHUGGAH.
Jason don’t you dare fucking move, I told myself.
WOO WOO.
Jason, you deserve this. It’ll be the easiest way from hurting Derrick.
CHUGGAH CHUGGAH
The sounds were getting closer, and more irritating each time.
And I felt it.
The warm breath of the train’s engine hugging my arms.
The initial impact of the moving vehicle.
All so surreal.
Now the cracking.
The breaking.
The splitting.
The blood.
The death.
♠ ♠ ♠
Probably the last one guys.