The Risks We Take

For some strange reason I couldn’t stop thinking about Sean coming back. I had had some attacks (that’s what we started calling the zone out things) but I was getting better, I figured out what was triggering it, and avoided it until I could cope with it. I found his number and decided to give him a call. As hard as it was to pick up the phone and speak to him, I did it.

“Hey.” He said smiling. I didn’t say anything, “Listen, I’m going to talk and your going to listen.” I said firmly. “Okay.” he said playfully. “No, I’m not kidding.” I said grimly. “Okay I’m all ears.” He said seriously. “First, don’t come around a year later after you completely crushed me and left without explanation other than, “I can’t do this anymore.” Because I waited around but you didn’t come back so I was convinced something was wrong with me. Poor Treavor had to wait for me to build up trust for him, and he really loves me and deserves my trust. And second, you screwed me up pretty badly, every time I would do anything that reminded me even he slightest bit of you, I would freak out and start seeing and hearing you in my head. That’s how messed up I am from one guy. You caused a lot of damage. And third I started pushing away anyone that tried to get close to me and I even hurt myself, I got help and I’m slowly recovering, but if something were to happen to make me have a relapse it would ruin my progress. It has taken forever to get this far and I’m not letting you screw anything else up.” I finally stopped to breathe; “Now you can comment.” I said rudely. “Wow! I am really sorry, is there any possible way I can make it up to you?” he asked actually looking sorry for what he did. “Well probably not but you can explain honestly, why you left me with no specific explanation after I worked so hard to get that close to you.” I said hopefully. “I’m sorry but…” I interrupted, “Don’t waste your breathe; I knew you wouldn’t be able to get over your stupid pride and just tell me.” I walked away. “No, you don’t understand, I can’t tell you.” He yelled after me. “I really want to but I just can’t.” He said sadly.

Treavor kissed me passionately and sweetly. This was the standard make out but it felt a little different for me. Treavor didn’t know but I was completely sure and this time I wasn’t going to stop him at the usual point. He didn’t stop, catching on that I wasn’t stopping him. I love Treavor so it was magical like I had expected. His parents were out of town for the weekend, so we had the house to ourselves.

The next morning I woke up in Treavor’s arms once again. He smiled at me but this time it was different. It was hard to explain but it was like he knew me body and soul now. Almost like there wasn’t anything he didn’t know now. I can’t explain, but it was special and I will remember it forever. I feel as if Treavor and mine love is stronger now. We have that special bond that each of us don’t have with anyone else.

“You know, every guy I have ever dated was a loser in aluminum foil, but I’ve have finally found my knight shining armor.” I cooed. “Thank you, I have finally rescued the beautiful princess, instead of the usual troll in disguise of a princess.” He laughed. “Thanks, I feel special.” I said happily. “You should, because I’m yours and only yours, and your mine and only mine.” He smiled down at me. We were dancing in the living room, “It’s nice to have someone finally claim me.” I joked. But secretly I really felt that way.