Status: If you like this, please tell me and I'll update :] Please comment?
Forget Me Not
1
“Sweetie, can I get you anything?” the motherly waitress broke my trance. I nodded my head, “Some more chocolate milk, please?” I mumbled. I kept replaying that horrible voicemail in my head. “Um hello, this is Arizona’s mom, Arizona has been in a horrible accident and…” she started to cry, “He didn’t make it.” She sobbed violently. I didn’t hear the second part the first time I listened to it. I knew as soon as she paused that she was going to say he was gone.
Now, I am sitting all alone in a pancake house. I didn’t want to think about it, but I couldn’t help but ponder the subject. What had happened to him? Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this? I ate my pancakes and paid. “Have a nice day,” the cashier said sweetly. “Yeah, whatever.” I said shoving the door open and ignoring anyone who looked at me or tried to speak to me.
I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, so everyone already knew that Arizona was gone, and they were all determined to force their condolences on me.
Arizona and I had been together since freshman year, I had never wanted another after that. I had been so happy until today; we were planning on going to the mall today. I had always wondered why people acted the way they did when someone died, I understood that they were sad, but why did they lock themselves up and be depressed. I had obviously never fathomed losing someone so close to me, much less ever had this tragic event take place before.
When I got home my mom was crying on the couch, I threw my keys on the counter. “Mom, what’s wrong?” I said, trying to sound empathetic. She looked at me and said, “I am so sorry about Arizona sweetie, but I have more bad news.” She frowned. My shoulders sank, my boyfriend had just died and my mother of al people was about to unload more crap on me? I sat down next to her and she pulled me into a hug, “Daddy’s job needs for him to move to New York, so we are leaving next week, I will have grandma pack your things for you, okay?” she said fake sympathetically.
I nodded and walked away, I didn’t need this, it didn’t set in that Arizona was really gone until the next day, and it didn’t really register that I was being moved to New York my junior year in high school right after my boyfriend unexpectedly dies on me.
I walked into the living room, I plopped down on the couch, “Breaking news!” a booming voice came from the TV, I looked up when I heard the words “…A tragic suicide hits green oaks hard, Green Oaks High School’s very own Quarterback, Arizona Brooks took his own life early Saturday morning, the town is left in a somber mood, what does this mean for the playoffs?” the reporter asked heartlessly. I suddenly leaped from my spot on the couch yelling furiously at the unresponsive TV, “My boyfriend died and you are worried about the freaking playoffs and what’s with the suicide crap, he wouldn’t do that!” I screamed. As if on her cue my best friend burst into the living room, engulfing me in a much needed hug. For the first time since his death, I broke down and cried.
When I awoke in Kristen’s arms, I rose smiling. “Oh no I am going to be late to the mall…” I started but she cut me off, “No.” was all she said. “…but Arizona is waiting.” I said puzzled. She repeated once more, “No.” I looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes; it all came rushing back like a bad aftertaste of spoiled milk. I lay back down in her lap, I couldn’t cry anymore I could just feel that empty pain that wouldn’t seem to leave, it lingered reminding me every moment that he wasn’t here. The only time I could seem to escape it was when I was asleep, and even sometimes I would dream about him, which was even more painful waking up knowing I would never see him again. I started to wonder what I could’ve done differently to keep him here. I kept myself awake at night; thinking of what I could’ve done to prevent Arizona’s death. I figured out how to put myself out of my misery; Sleeping pills. I began with the normal dosage and soon they weren’t having the same affect on me, so I took more and more each time they stopped working.
“Ready?” Mom asked me as we loaded what was left of my stuff into the moving truck and we drove away. I would never see any of my beloved friends again and my boyfriend was gone forever, my life is crumbling around me and I can’t do a thing about it.
Now, I am sitting all alone in a pancake house. I didn’t want to think about it, but I couldn’t help but ponder the subject. What had happened to him? Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this? I ate my pancakes and paid. “Have a nice day,” the cashier said sweetly. “Yeah, whatever.” I said shoving the door open and ignoring anyone who looked at me or tried to speak to me.
I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, so everyone already knew that Arizona was gone, and they were all determined to force their condolences on me.
Arizona and I had been together since freshman year, I had never wanted another after that. I had been so happy until today; we were planning on going to the mall today. I had always wondered why people acted the way they did when someone died, I understood that they were sad, but why did they lock themselves up and be depressed. I had obviously never fathomed losing someone so close to me, much less ever had this tragic event take place before.
When I got home my mom was crying on the couch, I threw my keys on the counter. “Mom, what’s wrong?” I said, trying to sound empathetic. She looked at me and said, “I am so sorry about Arizona sweetie, but I have more bad news.” She frowned. My shoulders sank, my boyfriend had just died and my mother of al people was about to unload more crap on me? I sat down next to her and she pulled me into a hug, “Daddy’s job needs for him to move to New York, so we are leaving next week, I will have grandma pack your things for you, okay?” she said fake sympathetically.
I nodded and walked away, I didn’t need this, it didn’t set in that Arizona was really gone until the next day, and it didn’t really register that I was being moved to New York my junior year in high school right after my boyfriend unexpectedly dies on me.
I walked into the living room, I plopped down on the couch, “Breaking news!” a booming voice came from the TV, I looked up when I heard the words “…A tragic suicide hits green oaks hard, Green Oaks High School’s very own Quarterback, Arizona Brooks took his own life early Saturday morning, the town is left in a somber mood, what does this mean for the playoffs?” the reporter asked heartlessly. I suddenly leaped from my spot on the couch yelling furiously at the unresponsive TV, “My boyfriend died and you are worried about the freaking playoffs and what’s with the suicide crap, he wouldn’t do that!” I screamed. As if on her cue my best friend burst into the living room, engulfing me in a much needed hug. For the first time since his death, I broke down and cried.
When I awoke in Kristen’s arms, I rose smiling. “Oh no I am going to be late to the mall…” I started but she cut me off, “No.” was all she said. “…but Arizona is waiting.” I said puzzled. She repeated once more, “No.” I looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes; it all came rushing back like a bad aftertaste of spoiled milk. I lay back down in her lap, I couldn’t cry anymore I could just feel that empty pain that wouldn’t seem to leave, it lingered reminding me every moment that he wasn’t here. The only time I could seem to escape it was when I was asleep, and even sometimes I would dream about him, which was even more painful waking up knowing I would never see him again. I started to wonder what I could’ve done differently to keep him here. I kept myself awake at night; thinking of what I could’ve done to prevent Arizona’s death. I figured out how to put myself out of my misery; Sleeping pills. I began with the normal dosage and soon they weren’t having the same affect on me, so I took more and more each time they stopped working.
“Ready?” Mom asked me as we loaded what was left of my stuff into the moving truck and we drove away. I would never see any of my beloved friends again and my boyfriend was gone forever, my life is crumbling around me and I can’t do a thing about it.