Fatal.

Ricky's point of view.

I am feeling a little bit better now that I have something in my system, but I still don't know what to expect when I go on stage soon. Afterall, all the other bands have now played their set and the crowd is more pumped than I have seen it before, they are all going to expect everyone in the band to be lively and jumping, and I'm worried, because I do not want to let anybody down.

It also feels like I am being watched, but everytime I look behind me or look around, nobody is looking at me unless I meet their eyes, and it's making me become paranoid. Maybe that's a side effect of these things in my arm, I don't know. But I know that I don't like the feelings that I keep getting and if anything happens to my friends I am going to blame it on myself.

"Ricky, are you sure you can do this? No one is going to judge you if you can't and you have us guys to step in if you need it. You know that, right?" Jordan's voice is shaky and the worry that I can hear makes me feel insanely bad that I am going to risk more of my health for the crowd, but this is something that I have thought through, I cannot and will not let my band down, even if it goes to kill me, they are my best friends, and I know Chris is depending on me to show that I am getting better, especially to Ange and Oli.

That's another thing, Oli rarely showed me he liked me when I first came back, he never spoke to me, not like he spoke to the rest of the guys in my band, and I didn't understand why he hated me. But something tells me that he has a few secrets up his sleeve. Just like I, myself have. No one knows of the things I can do, because they think only born vampires get the tricks, but that's the thing that they do not know about me, but I feel like Oli can tell I'm different to the other created vampires that used to live, and I don't like that.

I didn't ever want to be different, I never wanted to be someone that the vampire world and the human world came to despise, because that's all I am. Someone who can be used, thrown away and easily replaced. I hear a snarl, as if someone can read what I just thought, and look over to Oli, who is staring at me with bright red eyes, and I know those eyes, it means hunger, it means anger. And in this moment I know he read what I thought, I let my wall down for a few seconds thinking that no one was around, other than Jordan, but I know his secret, so he cannot read my thoughts.

I have decided to just ignore Oliver and turn my attention back to Jordan. "I can do this, I want to prove to everyone that I'm not the weak little kid they think I am, just because I'm the youngest doesn't mean I cannot do everything everyone else can, Jordy. But you can watch side stage with Oli, and maybe the new band, and if you see anything that indicates I'm getting worse you can stop the show, okay?" My voice is quiet and calming, and I see Oli nodding over to where we are, as if he is agreeing to what I have just said. I smile at him.

Even though he scares me, I know in my heart he is just trying to protect and help me, just like he helped Jordan, but I do not like help. I like to be able to do things on my own, and in my own time, that is why I joined motionless in white, they all understand me as best they can and they respect my decisions, even when they are the wrong ones.

"Rick! We are playing now get your ass on that stage." Devin's voice is like music to my ears, but something is even better than that, and that's the crowd shouting our names, knowing what order we come onstage and getting progressively louder until the last one of us steps up. I grab my gutair and run on stage, waving to the crowd and flashing smiles to everyone that can see me. Because even if I am going to die, I want to give everyone the best fucking show that they deserve. And even in my weak state, I know that they deserve the usual shows we give.

"Hello creatures!! We are.. MOTIONLESS IN WHITE. And we are here to give you a fucking good time, now lets start playing!" Chris' voice is getting the crowd all riled up, and I smile at him softly, he is one of the best frontmen a band could have.

Straight after his little speech we begin with Abigail, but as Chris says move I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and everything is becoming hazy, as if a film has been put across my eyes. I begin to panic and look over to Ghost, who is staring at me with scared eyes, but I shake it away and continue to play, because that is who I am, this is who I am. And no illness is going to change this fact.