Tongue Tied

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by

“Hello boys” Jack’s mum greeted the pair as they entered the kitchen. “How was school?”

The question was directed solely at Alex. There was no way Jack would attempt an answer with someone more competent around to speak for him and they both knew it.

“It was good thanks. Jack got full marks on an English paper today.” Alex replied, slinging an arm
around his best friends’ shoulders. Jack smiled and nodded as confirmation.

“Well done!” Jack’s mum called out as the two boys headed upstairs without waiting for a real reply.

Sitting on Jack’s bed, Alex filled the quiet with constant chatter. It was his role in their friendship, the unwritten rule that he had to speak enough for the both of them. Occasionally Jack would interject with some small comment, but usually he stayed silent. Speaking, or at least attempting to, was frustrating. Alex was patient; more so than anyone Jack had been friends with before, but his eager and hurried nature meant Jack was constantly worried about annoying him with his stilted words and hesitant sentences.

The pair were playing video games- one activity that didn’t require talking unless you counted Alex’s yells of curse words and threats- and even Jack could yell out a swear word without stuttering for five minutes- when Alex spoke out of nowhere.

“So, Jacky. Tell me your deepest darkest secret.” Alex’s voice was light-hearted and teasing but Jack
could still sense the curiosity behind it.

“Y-y-you know all m-my secrets.”

“That’s a lie. I only know what you tell me.” Said Alex, pausing the game and turning to look full on at Jack. This action caused the younger boy to blush, pushing Alex away playfully.

“Stop l-l-looking a-at me. Y-you k-know I get wor-worse-” Jack cut off the sentence midway through, unable to bother continuing. It didn’t matter either way- Alex understood what he was trying to say.

The glaring made it pretty easy to work out too.

Alex sighed dramatically and turned his entire body away from Jack so he was facing the wall. “Go on then. Tell me. Or if you can’t, I’ll find you a pen and you can write it down.”

“I’ll f-f-fucking s-show you whe-where to stick that p-pen.”

“Language, child. No need for that.”

“Fuck.” Jack replied defiantly.

“Didn’t even stutter that time. Maybe you should stick to cussing. You could even get a doctors note. I’d love to see that go down at school.”

Their banter was momentarily interrupted by Jack’s video game controller flying over to hit Alex on the back of the head.

“You little shit. Anyway, answer my question.”

Jack just shrugged, despite knowing Alex couldn’t see his actions. Instead of replying, he chose to distract Alex.

“You unpaused the game you ballsack! That’s cheating!”

Deepest darkest secrets forgotten, the boys returned to their game.

It was only later, after Alex had left and Jack was in bed, did his thoughts return to the question.

For the millionth time in his life, Jack cursed his faltering speech. Obviously, for anyone, admitting a secret was difficult. But for him, the problem was magnified by the trouble speaking caused.

It wasn’t just finding the words to tell Alex. It was the actual act of forcing them out of his uncooperative throat and mouth. How can you admit something that could change everything when you were stuck in the simple act of getting the words to form?

He could always write it down, he supposed. But somehow, by doing that, the words were never truly what you thought. They could be revised, thought over, edited. Jack would know; he’d spent the last five year having to write down his thoughts simply to be understood.

He always thought that maybe, one day, he’d find the perfect words and be able to magically talk. One special expression or sound that would suddenly unlock his ability to speak again.

So far he hadn’t found it.

The next day was a repeat of the previous. Once again they were in Jack’s room and once again, Alex was questioning him.

“Come on! It doesn’t matter how long it takes you. I’ll wait. And once you’ve answered, I’ll tell you my secret.”

Jack glared in response.

“I know it’s blackmail.” Alex replied, laughing. “But it works. Come on, we both know you find it easier to speak in front of me than anyone else.”

“N-not about this.”

Alex just keeps looking at him, blinking occasionally but refusing to tear his gaze away until Jack answers.

Sighing, Jack gives in.

Before he can even start the words well up in his throat, choking and binding him. Staring at the floor rather than Alex, Jack mouths the words to himself, rehearsing the way his lips need to move for this.

“I-i-i-.”

To his credit, Alex stays quiet for once, determined to let Jack do the talking rather than depend on him. He’s pretty sure he already knows what Jack is going to say. He just wants to hear it for himself.

“I-i-i. I l-l-lo-lo.”

Hearing Jack struggle is hard for Alex. The past few years of his life have been spent answering for Jack, finishing his sentences to help his best friend. Watching this attempt is almost painful.
Jack ran a hand through his already messy hair in frustration, wanting to cry with the strain of effort.

“I-I. I’m g-gonna need some h-help.”

With these words, Jack gave Alex a sad smile. They’d both known he couldn’t do it alone. He was going to need a little more than a little bit of help.

Almost crying with frustration, Jack tried to speak one more time. When it failed again, he punched the floor in anger.

“Jack-” Alex began but was silenced by Jack holding up a hand.

Once he was sure he had Alex’s attention, Jack used his hands to sign out his secret, a working replacement for his faulty words.

Forefinger pointing to his chest, then both hands spread out. A slow and shaky hand pointing to Alex.

It was the most basic sign language there was, and even if Jack hadn’t gone through a period of using it, Alex would still recognise it.

Rather than indulge Jack, Alex chose to ignore him. Leaning in closer, he whispered to Jack.

“No. I want you to tell me.”

Close to tears, Jack stammered back. “I-I-I c-can’t.”

“Sure you can.” Alex replied, ignoring his best friends distress. “Just take it slow. It doesn’t matter if it takes you a thousand times.”

Refusing now to even try and speak, Jack just shook his head wildly.

“Fine then.” Taking both of Jack’s hands in his, Alex moved so their faces were almost touching. “Say it with me.”

Jack’s surprised and wide-eyed amazed look couldn’t have been more adorable.

As a cue, Alex opened his mouth. Jack copied obediently, mimicking Alex’s every action.

“I.”

“I-I.”

“Love.”

“L-l-l-”

“Love.”

“L-l-lo-love.”

“You.”

“You.” Jack whispered. His expression was so shocked at what he’d been able to do.

“See,” Alex said smugly. “It’s all about finding the perfect words. Then, you just need a little bit of help.”

Jack’s only response was to throw himself at Alex, effectively initiating their first kiss in the form of clashed teeth and a bitten lip.

Laughing, Alex gently pulled away before pressing his lips back on to Jacks, this time a lot softer than previously.

“We’ll get through this speech thing Jack. You and me. I can help, every step of the way.”

Jack smiled, squeezing Alex’s hands tighter before speaking.

“I love you.”

No stuttering or repeated syllables. Just smooth words gliding effortlessly into one another. It was flawless. And all down to Alex.