Manic

I sat in the front seat of the ambulance; my heart was pounding so hard I was sure the EMT next to me could hear it. I was biting my nails so hard I was sure they were bleeding by now, my leg wouldn’t sit still. In the back was the love of my life and three EMTs. They had given her some “chalk” so she could throw up the pills before they traveled through her liver.

Why was the ambulance moving so damn slow?

Finally we reached the hospital.

“What’s going on?”

She’s awake!

I tried to look back towards her but it was too hard to even see her.

The ambulance was done backing into the back entrance so I jumped out.

“You’re okay now, your husband is here,” a young paramedic said after he opened the doors.

I was waiting for her to cry or scream like the last time she had woken from an overdose but she stayed quiet. I looked at her and her brows furrowed and her eyes looked, said; guilt.

I moved aside as they slid the gurney out and towards the hospital; I followed close behind only the get held back at the ER room she was put in saying I could go in soon.

“Mr. Schmidt we need your wife’s insurance information, has she been hospitalized before?”

“Yes her information should be in the system…” I answered sadly.

It seemed like forever before they let me in. Neche sat upright in the bed staring off to the side. I knew she was in no mood to talk but I had to. A tear ran down her left eye and I sat down beside her on one of the two visitor chairs.

“I called your mom,” she sniffed but remained silent. “How long were you out?” She shrugs. “What time did you take the pills?” She shrugged again. “Was it Lithium?” She and I sigh. “Lithium wouldn’t make you sleepy, did you take some sleeping pills too?” Another nod.

I was angry but I didn’t want to show it. She needed support right now. I reached over and grabbed her left hand to hold it but she ripped it away and wrapped them around her knees which she pulled up to her chest. I noticed than that her shirt was off and in a bag next to her. They hadn’t given her a hospital gown yet. I stood up and exited the room to find a nurse that wasn’t busy.

I found one walking by.

“Excuse me,” I called and she looked back at me with a smile. “Can my wife get a gown?” She nodded.

“Of course sir, room 23?” I nodded and she walked off quickly leaving me to go back to the room.

We remained in silence until the nurse came in with a gown and some socks.

We didn’t talk until a counselor came in.