Status: Sorry.

Agonium

004

"Lovi, where is your mom?"

The man is wearing a well-worn suit, and his eyes are kind. However, he stands too close to the police officer; they don't trust that I've told them everything that I know. Everything is too close in this office, too stuffy and uncomfortable.

The man with the nice eyes repeats his question.

God, I'm sick and tired of hearing that question; I've always hated it.

"I don't know." I'm barely whispering, shaking my head as I speak, "I don't know.. I don't know."

"Do you know what your mother said before you last saw her?" He places a hand on my shoulder, and it's so hot and heavy. It's comforting.

"She was scared.. I don't know where she is.. She left. Her boyfriend came to pick her up.."

He squeezes my shoulder, "Good Lovi, you're doing good. But, can you tell us where your mother's boyfriend lives?"

His name's JP, and when I picture evil, I see him. When my mother first met him, she was fine. Depressed, but fine. She was my mom, and I loved her. JP corrupted her. He took her away.

I should have seen it coming,
I should have seen it coming, and I hate myself that I didn't.

I look away from the man, embarrassed. "I don't know. I've only met him twice."

The cop sighs, impatient. The man looks him over, and then me again. They think I'm stupid, but my heart is racing in my chest and all I want is Leo. God, I need Leo.

"When can I see him? When can I go to the hospital?" My hands are shaking, and I'm afraid of crying in front of these men with their judgment already hard. They see me as a dumb, weak girl.

"Tomorrow, Lovi," I wish he'd stop saying my name, "you can go visit Leo tomorrow. For now, we need to worry about getting you into a group home before anything else."

The two men talk of foster homes, and I feel sick. Where does Leo fit into that? And within their words, they mention my father, and that's when I finally cry. And I shake, collapsed on the desk in front of me, I lose myself.


***


Child protective services is nothing but a joke, I know that now. They're an organization of idiots, and I hate them.

The woman's in front of me pantsuit is obviously secondhand, and her lipstick is smeared across her front tooth. She smells like smoke, and there's a streak of dirt on her sleeve. She's almost pathetic, but she's still better than my last caseworker.

She taps her pencil on a clipboard, "Do you like living where you are now?"

"It's alright," I offer. The paper she's writing on will never be looked at again. I know this process all too well. I've been in this room all too much, routine checkups and above, and I'm tired of the cramped design.

With that last question, the woman smiles and extends her hand to shake mine. "Lovi, you'll be graduating in a few months. You'll be an adult too; won't be seeing me anymore!" On top of the smoke, she smells of piss.

In a few months, I try to remind myself, I'll finally be okay.
♠ ♠ ♠
okay, I didn't really know how to make the flashbacks more ~obvious~ but the layout of them will remain consistent & hopefully they'll make sense as they add in number.

So, to clarify, yes the italicized paragraphs are flashbacks.

If anyone has any pointers on how to make that clearer, please let me know.