I’m Glad I Didn’t Die Before I Met You

I let out a small moan as I was shaken awake by Mabel, my usual nurse. Even though she woke me up at this ungodly hour I let out a smile. Today was my last day here at Twin Leaf Psychiatric Ward, this farewell was long overdue as I had been here for a year and a half. I was emitted here by my father after the incident that occurred last summer. I hated what my dad did but I didn’t blame him. If I had a suicidal out of hand teenager I would have done the same.

“You know the rules, Diane. Medicine then vitals, I’ll give you a couple minutes to get dressed. Oh and chin up dear, it’s your last day here” Mabel practically shouted.

I smiled at her, she was the closest thing I had ever had to a mom. My mother left my brother, father, and I when I was seven years old. I try my hardest not to think about it, she was a bitch anyway.

I quickly threw on tights and a loose sweatshirt and made my way down the long hallways to the office. Kathy, another nurse handed me my small plastic cup of different assorted pills. Three little white ones, two blush colored ones, and two bright blue ones. I popped them one by one into my mouth and sloshed them down with a glass of ice water. Next, was vitals and then weighing my least favorite thing.

“Good morning, Ms. Ashby” said Dr. Taken

“Thanks, you too” I replied softly, just wanting to get this over with so I could start packing my things.
The Doctor swiftly went through a checklist of things and asked me to step on the scale. Oh boy, here we go.

“110, good job Diane you've gained two more pounds!” Dr. Taken said happily. I contained a groan of disgust. That was the last thing I wanted to hear, I must look like a fucking whale now.

“It’s been a pleasure having you here, Ms. Ashby. Don’t take this the wrong way but I hope we never have to see you again.”

“Me either”

With those last words I left for my room to begin the packing process. I walked over to my small desk that was near the window and put my ipod into the dock. I clicked shuffle and the room was immediately filled with John O’Callaghan’s raspy voice. Music was probably the only reason I didn’t go completely insane in here. I began to shuffle through my drawers neatly folding my belongings and placing them into my bag.

When I was done I put my bags and acoustic guitar by my door and laid down on my bed. My thoughts were filled with worries of the future. Where would I live when I left? I suppose I could stay with my brother for a while but then I would need to get my own place. I can’t just stay with him, I would be too much of a bother. In order to do that, I would need a job, but who would want to hire a girl who has a past of mental instability? My thoughts were interrupted by a soft knocking on my door.

“Your brother and father are here, Diane” Mabel said as she peeked her head into the room

“Thanks, do you uh..mind helping me with my bags” I mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Sure thing, Doll” she smiled, happily taking one of my duffel bags.

We walked in silence to the entrance of the ward where my hyper looking brother, Alan stood next to our father. As soon as Alan saw me he ran and practically jumped on me. We stayed there, quietly hugging. Tears were silently running down my face, and I had the biggest smile on my face.

“I missed you so much, Diane” He whispered, voice cracking. “Me too.” I blubbered trying to stop the constantly streaming tears. He hugged me for a while longer then let go reluctantly. I slowly walked up to my father, things were still a little awkward between us because the last time I saw him, I was screaming that I hated him. He gave me a cautious wave, looking unsure. I sent him a small smile and wrapped my small arms around him, taking in his familiar scent.

“I love you, dad” I mumbled into the hug.

“I love you too, I’m sorry I sent you here sweetie, I just thought it was best for you and-“

“It’s okay, I realize it was what was best for my health and there is no need for you to be sorry. If anything it should be me apologizing for being so tough to deal with” I rambled on

“Darling, all that matters is that your home now” He smiled, wiping his eyes. I gave Mabel a hug and then we were on our way out the door leaving my home for the past year behind. I slipped into the car and buckled my seat belt.

“Is there anything you want to do now that you’re out of there?” Alan asked curiously

“Maybe go to Jill’s Diner? I miss her blueberry pancakes desperately” Jill made the best pancakes in the world, and I mean the best. It was a family tradition to go there every third Friday of the month, and I intended on keeping that tradition.

“Jill’s Diner it is!” Dad cried as he sped off into the direction of the restaurant. I looked out the window watching downtown L.A. pass us by. I missed this so much.

“We’re here!” Alan squealed jumping out of the car and dashing into the restaurant leaving both of us behind. I giggled, sliding out of the car and calmly walked into the building. I was met with the familiar smell of fresh coffee and baked goods; my baby blue eyes scanned the quaint dinner searching for Alan. When I finally spotted him I shuffled over and sat in the bright red vinyl booth. As Alan kept babbling to my dad and I about nonsense I slipped off my toms and crossed my legs Indian style.

“-and that’s when I figured out that sleeping naked wasn't a good idea anymore. Diane are you even
listening to what I’m saying?!” Alan cried, throwing his long tattooed arms in the air.

“No, I just sort of spaced I’m sorry Alan” I murmured apologetically, this used to always happen in high school. I can’t even remember how many times I was sent to the principal’s office for daydreaming in class

“It’s okay, sis. It wasn't even that important” He said with an understanding smile. “Oh, Oh, Oh! I forgot to tell you, Diane. I’m thinking about joining this band. I met this dude named Austin Carlile and his band needs another guitarist. He sounds really cool, we haven’t met yet but I can tell he’s a good guy. They play hardco—“ I zoomed out after that. It really brought a smile to my face that Alan talked about this so enthusiastically. I wonder if I would ever find anything that would make me as happy as playing music makes Alan. I never really had a talent, I mean I play a little guitar but I’m not very good at that. I barely even knew what I wanted to major in college. I put it off for as long as I could then just ended up majoring in music management. I’m currently still taking courses online, and let me tell you it ain’t that easy. I was drawn out of my thoughts by Alan’s loud voice

“So what do you think?”

“I think that’s awesome, son” my dad mumbled not taking his eyes of the crumpled newspaper in his hands.
“Diane?” Alan said, staring at me intently

“I uh I think you should go for it Alan. You’re so passionate about music this sounds like a great way to do what you love, and you said Austin sounded like a great guy. Plus, you would also be able to travel, like you’ve always wanted too.” I said, fumbling with my fingers.
“Thanks sis, I’m gonna do it.”