Six Months

Gerard felt like crying. He knew either way he was going to lose someone he loved. He just didn’t know who.

Gerard had shuffled around in his pajamas the rest of the day. His head working a million miles an hour and the hole Frank had left in his heart in desperate need of repair. When Frank had walked out of Gerard’s apartment it felt more like he had walked out of his life. Gerard knew nothing with Frank would ever be the same, no matter what decision he made.

He pulled a bowl out of the cupboard, added cereal and walked over to the fridge, pulling out the milk one day over its use by date and pouring it over his dinner. Gerard simply couldn’t be bothered making anything, so cereal had seemed like the best option.

Just as he was raising the first spoonful to his mouth, the front door handle started turning. His spoon instantly went flying towards the bowl as he dropped it, milk sloshing everywhere but he did not care. He simply watched the door open with hope in his eyes, silently begging that it was Frank coming to say life would go on as usual. It wasn’t Frank at the door but instead there stood his wife, suitcase behind her as she looked in the apartment, her eyes instantly locking on his.

Her face lit up in a smile and Gerard forced one on his own face.

“Sweetheart!” she cried, quickly crossing the room and wrapping her arms around his neck, all previous anger towards him forgotten. Gerard quickly responded to the hug, his emotional state requiring for him to have some physical contact. He breathed in her scent and closed his eyes, tears coming threateningly close to spilling down his cheeks.

His wife pulled away after a few moments, going in to kiss him but halting her actions when she saw the mixture of emotions on his face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes full of concern. The tears Gerard had been holding back finally started leaking out, unable to stand it any longer.

“Frank, he said he loved me,” Gerard replied, hoping he didn’t look as miserable as he felt. His wife’s face went stony.

“What did he say when you told him you didn’t love him?” she asked cautiously. Gerard didn’t reply. He couldn’t because there was nothing to say to that. He had actually told Frank he loved him.

“Because you’re married. You don’t love him, you can’t.”

His wife’s words caused Gerard to start sobbing, his tears unstoppable as he covered his face with his hands.

“Do you love Frank, Gerard?” His wife finally asked, needing to hear it so that she could be sure it wasn’t true.

Gerard slowly nodded his head, knowing that if there was ever a time to tell the truth, that this was it.

His wife’s breathed hitched before she asked, “do you love me?”

Again, Gerard nodded his head, hanging it in shame.

“HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK GERARD!” his wife screamed, finally releasing her anger. “You can’t love two people, it doesn’t work like that!”

Gerard swiped at his face to take away some of his tears and said in a choked voice, “I don’t know, okay. I really don’t know.”

She sighed angrily and turned back towards the door, grabbing the handle of her suitcase. “I’m going to a hotel until figure your shit out,” she snarled and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

Gerard slumped forward on the kitchen table, his head being stopped from hitting the granite bench by his hands that were splayed across it.

He took a few deep breaths and calmed himself down so that he was sane enough to asses the situation.

His wife was amazing. She was beautiful, talented, funny, incredibly sexy and had a way of making Gerard feel so damn good about himself. She was in the music industry and therefore never pressured Gerard about stupid things any other wife would. She knew his many flaws and loved him regardless, embracing the ones he couldn’t change and helping the ones he could. His mother and father both loved her, she was the perfect daughter in law. She was patient, kind and incredibly sweet with an amazing warmth about her.

His wife was adorable. He knew it, everyone knew it.

With this in mind, Gerard knew what his decision would be.

The illuminated sign lit up his pale face, the rain wetting his hair and turning it into a damp mess. He stared at the hotel doors where he knew the love of his life was, the one he was meant to be with. A elated grin spread across his face, and there in the middle of the car park, Gerard started laughing. He ran his fingers through his sopping hair, staring up at the night sky as the laughter wracked his body.

Gerard knew where he was supposed to be.

He ran across the car park and into the hotel lobby, alarming the hotel staff and guest who turned to look at the wet man whose loud laugh was echoing through the marble room. Gerard didn’t have time for them though, he didn’t care what they thought because he was on a mission. He yanked open the door to the fire escape, not having the patience to wait around for a lift. He took the stairs two at a time, almost falling down but catching himself just in time at one. He finally reached the third level, not even noticing how wet he was, or how the air-conditioning should have been making him cold. He pulled open the door with some force and propelled his body into the maroon carpeted hallway.

Gerard ran down the hall, feeling that walking would somewhat dull the intensity of the mood. He reached the door he was looking for and stood still for a moment, taking a deep breath before knocking on it.

He fidgeted impatiently as he waited for them to come, it was most likely that they had been asleep as it was well past midnight. The door was finally pulled open, the sleepy figure standing in front of him blinking in surprise.

“Wha-Gerard?”

“Hi Frankie,” Gerard breathed, his heart racing and his mind going numb.

“What are you doing here? It’s like…two in the morning,” Frank said, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to wake up and realize that this was not actually a dream.

“I have something for you,” Gerard simply replied.

Frank’s sleepy face wrinkled in confusion. “What?”

“This.”

Gerard pulled the man towards him by his boxers and crashed their lips together. Frank made a noise of surprise, barely being half awake but soon began kissing back with quite an eagerness. Frank opened his mouth to Gerard’s tongue and soon all that could be heard in the hallway was wet lips smacking and tongues battling tongues. They finally pulled away after air became a necessity and Frank’s need for answers became too great.

“Gerard,” he started wearily. “I told you no more kissing, it’s all or nothing.”

Gerard just grinned at this. “How does ‘all’ sound then?”

Frank looked at his skeptically. “All of you, as in, every single piece of you is mine. Every hair on your chest, every bone in your body, your eyes, your ears, your nose.” Frank kissed Gerard’s nose. “Your lips.” Frank kissed Gerard’s lips. “Everything.”

Gerard held his arms out wide, stretching them as far as they could go. “All yours.”

“What about your wife?”

Gerard reached around to his back pocked and pulled out the papers he had been keeping there. He had gone straight to his lawyers and then onto his wife’s hotel. She had simply sighed and scrawled her name, knowing this situation was always inevitable and then slammed the door in his face. Gerard knew what he had done seemed completely heartless, but he knew it was the only way to prove to Frank he wasn’t going to screw him over. He was all Frank’s.

He handed the papers to Frank who blinked in surprise upon seeing them and finally let an elated smile come over his face.

“Mine!”Frank squealed and threw himself at Gerard, planting hungry kisses all over the mans face. Gerard laughed, wrapping his arms around Frank so he was off the ground and twirled him around.

“Yours,” Gerard confirmed, as Frank moved onto his neck all the while giggling madly. He was just so happy.

“Mine, mine, mine,” Frank chanted, sliding down Gerard so his feet were on the ground and his mouth was making his way down Gerard’s shirt until Frank was almost kneeling. Frank lifted the shirt up, kissing Gerard’s stomach and nipping at the flesh.

“Yours, your-hey!” Gerard was cut off mid chant by Frank pulling down his zipper and unbuttoning his pants. Frank looked up at him with an innocent expression.

“What?” He asked, pretending to look confused and gestured to Gerard’s crotch. “This is mine too, you know. I have exclusive rights now.”

Gerard couldn’t help but give a smirk. “We’re in a hotel hallway, Frankie,” he reminded the man who he certainly hoped was his boyfriend. Frank rolled his eyes, stood once more and dragged Gerard into his room, slamming the door behind them.

Frank immediately made for the unmade bed, pulling Gerard down next to him and wrapping his arms around him. Gerard did the same, feeling so happy that they could finally be cuddled up on a bed with no repercussions.

“Your not going to back out on me, are you?” Frank suddenly asked, because as ecstatic as he was, he still had his reservations. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, only to have them dashed by the man he had given his heart to a long time ago.

Gerard kissed Frank’s cheek, smiling at the idea of being able to do that all the time. “Nope, you’re it for me,” he said. “It’s always been you, and it’s only ever going to be you.”

Frank smiled at this. “Same for me,” he told Gerard. “I was kinda glad when my marriage ended because I didn’t have to feel so guilty for feeling so much more for you.”

Gerard just wrapped his arms around his Frankie even more, squeezing him tightly. “You know what I realized? I could live without my wife, but I could never live without you. The thought of you never kissing me, or touching me, or fucking me-“

“In the butt?” Frank interrupted with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, in the butt,” Gerard agreed and continued. “It scared me Frankie. I just knew that letting you go would be the worse decision I ever made.”

Frank nuzzled his head into Gerard’s neck. “Are you going to miss your wife?”

“Yes,” Gerard answered honestly. “But I’ll get over that in time. I would never get over you. I’ve never been able to get over you to begin with, letting you go now would be that much harder. I’m really in love with you and I always will be.”

“Awe, Gee,” Frank whined. “You say stuff like that and it just makes me turn to a fucking teenage girl.”

“Does that make me a creepy pedophile then?”

Frank rolled his eyes. “Oh nice, we are having this beautiful moment and you say something like that and I get an image of a fat, balding man sitting at his computer laughing manically as he lures his prey.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Gerard hastily apologized, kissing Frank’s shoulder.

“You could make it up to me though…” Frank said seductively, trailing his fingers up and down Gerard’s chest.

“Oh?”

Frank pushed Gerard onto his back and crawled up his body, leaning close to his ear. “You could let me fuck you,” he whispered, his hot breath hitting Gerard’s ear causing the front man to shiver.

“In the butt?” Gerard whispered back, locking eyes with Frank.

Frank nodded slowly. “In the butt,” he confirmed, not breaking the intense stare. He leant down and attached his lips to Gerard’s, running his hands up and down the singer’s sides. Gerard responded eagerly, bucking his hips up to Frank’s with all his troubles forgotten as he lost himself inside the kiss.

Maybe the rest of the break wouldn’t be so bad.