If You Told Me To

In the Past

Sarah was lethargic with bags the size of Alaska underneath her eyes, and every time she took a step, she pictured giant cinderblocks being strapped to her limbs. But after a nighttime of deliberation, she came to a decision that she shouldn’t let the new revelation ruin what she and Harry had. He’d been right when he said that what he did back home shouldn’t influence the way she looked at him in the country; it just took her a while to realize it. She and Harry had a very limited time together, and she couldn’t waste all of it wondering if she should be angry with him or not. So she decided not to be.

Instead of going over to Antonia’s and taking Harry out of his room, Sarah disappeared into the barn with her sketchbook. The second she settled her butt on the floor, her pencil floated across the page, and she got sucked into the trance she’d so long forgotten she possessed. As the picture of a man and woman holding hands appeared on the page, Sarah couldn’t help smiling a little bit, thankful beyond belief that she had finally found her stride again.

She was so involved in the picture unfolding in front of her that she didn’t notice Harry step in and tip-toe around her peripheral vision, stopping behind her to see what was so entrancing. “Wow,” he breathed, crouching down to get a closer look. “I thought you usually draw what you see.”

“Not always,” she murmured, still not torn out of her inspiration. “Sometimes, I can picture a scene, and that works the same way.”

Without another word, Harry settled down next to her, his arms wrapped around his knees, watching the way a lock of her dirty blonde hair fell into her young-looking face, the way her hand flew across the once-blank paper, and how she always squinted right before she dragged her eraser across a feature that came out wrong. He didn’t have his laptop, since he figured the two of them needed to talk, so watching her was his only source of entertainment.

About a half an hour later, she finally rejoined the world of the living, her cheeks flushed and her smile bright. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lose it. I hope you don’t think I was ignoring you.”

“I don’t mind,” he assured her, scooting closer to her with expectant eyes. “So are you okay with what I told you yesterday? Or are you still uncomfortable with it?”

Sarah let out a short breath. “Saying I’m comfortable with it would be lying. But I’m not weird with it. I get that it has nothing to do with me, and if you’re really a virgin, then I shouldn’t have to worry about you being sick or getting yourself in trouble. So it’s okay.”

Harry leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, which made her face turn bright red. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Question, though.”

“Sure, shoot.”

“Why is it that you’re not out looking for parties while you’re here? It’s not like this place is any more fun than what you had back home.”

“Actually, I kind of like being isolated, with just you, me, and my laptop. It’s a nice change of pace, I guess. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t go back to partying when I go back to New York.”

“Right,” Sarah replied softly, trying to push that last part out of her mind. After all, they’d be broken up, so what does it matter to her if Harry wants to make out with every girl in New York? That was his own business.

He planted another kiss on her face before pulling back to their typical six-inch distance between each other. “So you’re coming to dinner tonight, right?”

Sarah’s eyes widened with fear. “Oh my God, I forgot to ask my dad. I have no idea if he’s already taken out dinner or anything.”

“You can call him at work and ask him, though, can’t you?”

Sarah shrugged. “I guess, technically, I can, but I’ve never done that before. He’ll probably freak out.”

“You’ve never called your dad at work before?” Harry questioned, which Sarah answered with a simple head shake. “That’s so weird. I call my mom all the time, about everything. I always just ask her where things are instead of looking for them myself.”

“That’s just lazy,” Sarah scolded, but she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped through her lips. “But I guess one time wouldn’t hurt. I just hope I won’t interrupt anything important.”

“If you’re interrupting anything, he’ll probably just tell you that he’ll call you back later. That’s what my mom always does. It’s not a big deal.”

“But this is time-sensitive,” Sarah reminded him, putting her sketchbook down on the floor and getting to her feet. “I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. You’ll stay here while I call?”

“Where else am I going to go?” he laughed, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back on the hay.

“Good point.” She smiled at him one more time before heading into her house.

The air was stale inside, a clear hint to Sarah that she should open all the windows she possibly could before returning to Harry’s company. Taking in a deep breath to try to get used to the uncomfortable conditions, she grabbed the phone out of its holder, stationed on a small shelf by the door, and pulled herself up onto one of the bar stools at the island, dialing the number she’d memorized years ago in case of an emergency. There had never been one, and dinner at Antonia’s certainly didn’t qualify, but she just hoped an exception after three years of being trusted to stay alone would be forgivable.

“Hello?” Sarah relaxed immediately at the sound of her father’s voice. He sounded so business-like and professional, like he was expecting a work-related call. The thought made her tense up again. She hoped she wasn’t going to get him fired.

“Hi, Daddy,” Sarah replied slowly, scratching the back of her head as she felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment over the idea of being intrusive. “I’m really sorry to bother you at work, but I realized that I never asked you if we were okay to go over to Antonia’s house tonight for dinner. She invited us yesterday, but I forgot to ask you when I came home.”

There was a small sigh. Sarah could almost imagine him running a hand through his hair, taken a bit by surprise, but not angry. He never truly got angry. “I took some chicken out of the freezer, but as long as it stays in the fridge, it should be okay for tomorrow night instead. Tell Antonia that we’d be delighted.”

“Thanks, Daddy. I’m really sorry for bothering you.”

“You could never bother me, honey. I’ll talk to you when I get home, okay?”

“Okay. Bye.”

Her father responded with a simple farewell before the line went dead.

Sarah let out a small breath and stared out into the kitchen, incredibly thankful that her father hadn’t panicked or caused a scene about the fact that she’d called. If he had started stressing about something majorly awful happening at the house, she never would have been able to forgive herself. And he’d also agreed to go to Antonia’s so they didn’t have to disappoint her enthusiasm. Maybe he would have felt just as guilty as Sarah would if he had declined. She figured that was probably the case.

When Sarah rejoined Harry outside, she found him twirling a piece of hay in his hand, watching it carefully, like it held all of life’s secrets. Sarah cleared her throat as daintily as possible to announce her presence, but he still looked mesmerized.

“Harry?” Sarah called, settling down next to him. Finally, he looked up, smiling just enough to hint at the dimple in his cheek. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I was just thinking, that’s all.”

“About what?”

He let his shoulders slump as he sat up and dropped the piece of hay at his side. “About you. I’m really glad that you could put my past behind us.”

“That’s where the past belongs,” Sarah recited, nudging him with her knee. “And plus, we couldn’t have broken up. It’s not our expiration date yet.”

Harry grinned at her, finally leaning over to kiss her gently, cupping her cheek with his hand.
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Sorry that this update was a little later than intended! I moved back to college yesterday, so Monday, I spent the night watching television with my mother. But it's here now!

And from now on, I'm going to aim for an update every Wednesday! I don't have classes on Wednesdays, so I figure it'll be the best day. I'll do my best to stick to that! Thanks to everyone for continuing to read after my incredibly sporadic updates. ^_^