If You Told Me To

Sarah’s hands tangled up in one another, the palms slick as her anxiety grew, waiting for her father to show himself once again. He’d started speaking right when they walked in the door, his voice angry and louder than she’d ever heard it, but he quickly stopped himself and took a breath. “I’m going to change into more comfortable clothes,” he’d explained, starting toward the hallway. “Sit on the couch and wait for me to come back. Don’t move.”

As usual, Sarah complied easily, but her thoughts and fears were racing as she wondered what her father was going to do to shove a wedge between the New York native and herself. She figured he wouldn’t be understanding, something he made perfectly clear in front of Antonia and Harry, but she hoped he wouldn’t be unreasonable.

It had taken him fifteen minutes, but Jake did finally appear again, wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a ratty t-shirt. His face was decidedly less red, and he didn’t have a furious glint in his eye, so Sarah figured that he’d probably done some much-needed deep breathing while closed off from her.
“Okay, I want to talk to you like an adult,” he started, settling down next to her on the couch. Sarah immediately turned and tucked her legs underneath herself to face him properly. “Do you think you can handle that?”

Sarah nodded. Talking like rational, mature adults sounded good to her.

“Now, first off, it’s true that you’re interested in Harry, right? Antonia wasn’t just speculating what she thought was going on?”

She nodded again.

“I suppose it’s only natural, since you were spending so much time together. And there’s really nothing I can do to stop this from happening, so I guess I have to let you ride it out. Banning you from seeing him would probably just make you want to be with him even more.”

Sarah knew he was wrong; if Jake had said that he didn’t want his daughter seeing Harry in a romantic way anymore, she would tell Harry that they could only be friends. Her father’s opinion was important to her, maybe more important than it should have been, and going against him would have torn her up inside. But she didn’t say any of this.

After a short pause, Jake cleared his throat, interrupting Sarah’s honest thoughts, and sighed. “I’m sorry for reacting so badly originally. I just… Sarah, you’re all I have. It’s not easy to accept that you’re growing up all the time. I still remember what it was like to cradle you in my arms to get you to stop crying, and sometimes, I look at you and get shocked. How is it possible that you’re already fourteen, starting high school, and wearing makeup?” He gave her a sad smile and patted down one side of her hair, scratching her scalp gently a couple of times. The sign of affection was familiar, something that he used to do when saying goodnight to her, and it was just enough to make the tears in her eyes spill over.

“I’m sorry for hiding it from you, Daddy,” she admitted. “Harry and I just thought it would be less dramatic if you and Antonia didn’t know. And I didn’t want to worry you.”

“I’m your father. It’s my job to worry,” he assured her. “There are two conditions for being involved with Harry, though.”

Sarah wiped the tears from her cheeks and sat up straight, ready for whatever they were.

“One, don’t tell me anything about what you two are doing. Ever. I don’t want to know.” Sarah could feel herself turn bright red as she retracted into herself. The thought of her sharing the details of her kisses with Harry with her father was among the most horrifying things she could possibly imagine. “Second, don’t make me a granddaddy.”

“Daddy!” Sarah gasped, somehow feeling even more humiliated than before. “I would never!”

He chuckled at her dramatic reaction and patted her shoulder. “As long as we’re clear,” he told her in a soft voice. “Just be careful, baby. He’s older than you, and while I think he’s a nice boy, he’s definitely not a country boy.”

“Of course,” she replied with a small smile, which Jake returned.

Then, after giving her a short reassuring tap on the arm, he got to his feet. “Now who feels like some ice cream? I think I owe it to myself, considering how disgustingly healthy our dinner was.”

“Ice cream sounds perfect. Want me to find the baseball game?”

“That’s my girl.”

He disappeared into the kitchen and started making the typical ice cream-scooping noises while Sarah reached forward for the remote control on the table, flicking it to the channel she knew by heart. Her father’s favorite team, the Twins, were winning, but only by a single run, and the White Sox had the bases loaded. It wasn’t the greatest of situations, but Sarah hoped the Twins would pull through. Her father definitely needed a win that night.

Sarah cheered when the pitcher struck out the batter to get the last out, ending the fifth inning, and promptly informed Jake on what had just happened. “That’s my team,” he called with pride.

A few minutes later, after a handful of ridiculous commercials, Jake reemerged with two bowls. “I may have gone a little overboard,” he prefaced as he put one of them in his daughter’s lap, and Sarah immediately saw what he meant. Instead of simple ice cream, Jake had stacked chocolate chip cookies, sprinkles, hot fudge, and whipped cream on top of the dessert, turning their indulgence into a full-on sin.

Sarah grinned at him. “This is the best. Thank you, Daddy.”

He smiled and took a bite of his sundae. “This reminds me of when you were a little girl, and we’d watch the games together every night with whatever baked goods your mother made that day on the coffee table in front of us.”

The coffee table was gone, but Sarah remembered exactly what he was talking about. She could remember the scene perfectly, the cheering, the smell of sugar permeating everything in the house, her mother in the kitchen shouting at them good-naturedly to keep it down while they chuckled and stuffed their faces. Those times seemed so long ago to her, but to her dad, she figured it felt like no time at all.

“I’m glad we can still do it,” Sarah responded, feeling a bit of syrup cling to her upper lip as she stuck the spoon of chocolate ice cream and extras into her mouth. It tasted like heaven.

“Anytime, honey.”

There was a short silence as the two members of the Richards family watched the next couple of plays, chewing slowly and happily, almost in a trance. Sarah felt warm inside, like something had slipped solidly into place, and she wondered if it was what bliss felt like. Between having Harry, her father’s company and understanding, and Antonia’s support, she didn’t know what else in the world she could possibly want.

“I have another question,” Jake spoke as an Old Spice commercial came on the screen. “And I want you to be honest with your answer.”

Sarah nodded as she chased down a stray cookie crumble with her spoon.

“Did you lie to me about the makeup thing? Was it all about impressing Harry?”

Sarah thought for a second about her answer before shrugging. “At first, it was about impressing Harry. I wanted him to think I was pretty. But the more I thought about it, the less I wanted makeup for that reason. I wanted to feel good about myself and feel and look older, and so I wanted to give it a try. So, no, it wasn’t really about Harry, not after a while. Harry goes home at the end of the summer, anyway, so what he thinks of me isn’t that important.”

Jake grinned before leaning over and planting a kiss on the crown of his daughter’s head. “You have a good head on your shoulders, you know that? I’m proud of the young woman you’re becoming.”

“Thanks, Daddy.” She beamed shortly before finishing off her ice cream and putting the empty bowl down on the floor, right next to where her father had deposited his own moments earlier. “And thanks for understanding about Harry. It makes me feel good that you trust me.”

“How could I not? I think I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t do anything without a great deal of thought beforehand. Sometimes, you’re so much like me that it scares me.”

“I think of it as a good thing.”

Without another word from either of them, Sarah moved closer to her father, curling up and putting her head against his shoulder. He quickly put his own cheek on top of her hair, and the two finished watching the game in silence, just enjoying each other’s company.