Status: Will be updated weekly
I Am Human and I Need to Be Loved
It's Almost Armegeddon as She Falls to the Floor
As a child my mother would always bring me to the beach, it was her favorite place in the whole world. She loved the way the sky and ocean seemed to meet and it looked like they were kissing, and how when the sun went down the sky turned pastel. I always wondered if there was more to the reason she loved the sea so much.
I think i understand now. It was a whole world that we didnt know much about. It was a beautiful place with a mystery that made it seem adventurous. I want it to carry me away, so far that I never have to see another human being in my entire life. To be taken by it would be wonderful. Always floating and seeing the blue emptiness that wasn't very empty. Maybe the ocean can be symbolic with death. Do I want to die? Maybe I do, but I dont think so. I want the water to take me, and then somehow by some weird force, get resucued by someone who actually cares enough to pull me out. Will that happen? I dont think so. I can hope though.
Maybe the ocean isnt actually as great as it seems. Maybe it IS empty. My mother always said that when something seems empty, it is because no one wants to look closer and see the life inside of it. I always thought I was like an ocean. Seemingly empty but yet so full, but nobody wanted to go that deep in fear of not being able to resurface.
I wish somebody would pull me from the tide.
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"Luci! LUCI! LUCI WAKE UP," I hear Chris yelling. I open my eyes in a drowsy manner and see that I'm in Josh's arms. He is holding me, and I want to laugh at our size difference. He's so big, and I'm so little.
"What happened?," I ask while closing my eyes again. I notice the sun shining through cracks in the wall and how the guys are wearing different clothes than before.
"You fainted last night. We've been awake all night watching you. We thought you slipped into a coma or something," Josh tells me and strokes my hair. Suddenly I remember the string of events and sit up, accidently hitting my forehead on Josh's chin.
"I dont want to have to have sex with someone today! IM A VIRGIN. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO KISS PROPERLY," I start screaming. Ricky hushes me from across the room. He looks like he had a rough night, his hair and clothes are messy and he looks as if he hasnt slept for a week. I suddenly start to feel sick, and I keep myself from throwing up all over Josh and Chris. Ricky watches me with tired eyes, and tries to give me a sad smile. I attempt a smile back, and I faltar as much as he does.
"You will be given money before it starts. You will put it through a slot in the side of the room you are put in with this man or woman. Then you will do as you are told, got it? If you dont you will have to pay a price and you dont want to do that," Angelo says walking over from his bed. I nod and shiver.
Can someone please pull me from this tide?
I think i understand now. It was a whole world that we didnt know much about. It was a beautiful place with a mystery that made it seem adventurous. I want it to carry me away, so far that I never have to see another human being in my entire life. To be taken by it would be wonderful. Always floating and seeing the blue emptiness that wasn't very empty. Maybe the ocean can be symbolic with death. Do I want to die? Maybe I do, but I dont think so. I want the water to take me, and then somehow by some weird force, get resucued by someone who actually cares enough to pull me out. Will that happen? I dont think so. I can hope though.
Maybe the ocean isnt actually as great as it seems. Maybe it IS empty. My mother always said that when something seems empty, it is because no one wants to look closer and see the life inside of it. I always thought I was like an ocean. Seemingly empty but yet so full, but nobody wanted to go that deep in fear of not being able to resurface.
I wish somebody would pull me from the tide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Luci! LUCI! LUCI WAKE UP," I hear Chris yelling. I open my eyes in a drowsy manner and see that I'm in Josh's arms. He is holding me, and I want to laugh at our size difference. He's so big, and I'm so little.
"What happened?," I ask while closing my eyes again. I notice the sun shining through cracks in the wall and how the guys are wearing different clothes than before.
"You fainted last night. We've been awake all night watching you. We thought you slipped into a coma or something," Josh tells me and strokes my hair. Suddenly I remember the string of events and sit up, accidently hitting my forehead on Josh's chin.
"I dont want to have to have sex with someone today! IM A VIRGIN. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO KISS PROPERLY," I start screaming. Ricky hushes me from across the room. He looks like he had a rough night, his hair and clothes are messy and he looks as if he hasnt slept for a week. I suddenly start to feel sick, and I keep myself from throwing up all over Josh and Chris. Ricky watches me with tired eyes, and tries to give me a sad smile. I attempt a smile back, and I faltar as much as he does.
"You will be given money before it starts. You will put it through a slot in the side of the room you are put in with this man or woman. Then you will do as you are told, got it? If you dont you will have to pay a price and you dont want to do that," Angelo says walking over from his bed. I nod and shiver.
Can someone please pull me from this tide?