Don't Leave Me

I nearly dropped the phone. He couldn't be dead! He was so stubborn, it wasn't his time. I could think of a million reasons why. All the plans for my birthday party the next day that just had to be perfect moments before seemed to fade away. How could I celebrate when such a terrible thing had just happend? I could here my dad talking on the other side of the phone. Making a hurried excuse I hung up.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

I curled up in a small little ball on my bed and cried. Why did I have to be so distant over the summer? What would I have changed, if I had known it was the last time I would ever see him again? After a few minutes the phone rang again. I was afraid to answer it, but a quick look at the caller ID told me that it was Barbara.

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

That girl never stops surprising me. She knew instantly that something was wrong, even though I tried my hardest to keep the tears out of my voice. And soon as she found out what had happened she said she'd be right over and hung up before I could protest. Before I could say that she didn't need to come over early, that I'd see her when she Becky and Cathy got here for my birthday sleepover.

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

I remember Barb and I sitting on the porch swing on the deck. Talking, not talking, crying. We sat out there for forever. We talked about funny stories from back when I lived in Tecumseh. About how much I miss Butch, and how much I wish Barb could have met the great man and his companion. Before we knew it was dark, and Becky and Cathy were there.

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh

Since it was dark we decided to play a combination of flashlight tag and hide and seek in the dark. We played until about ten then we went into the screened in porch and ate the frozen pizza mom had made for us.

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

Barb must have told Becky and Cathy about my grandfather while I was in the bathroom because they were trying there hardest to make me laugh. It just made me want to curl up in a little ball and cry even more. But I had to be strong. If not for me, for the sisterhood.

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Cathy did end up making Sprite come out my nose twice. But it's Cathy she can make even the saddest, even the maddest person laugh. We just sat outside in the cool November night for another hour or so, just talking. It seemed like forever ago that we were all together last, all of us, only us.

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh

When it got so dark that we couldn't see anymore, around eleven thirty, we went downstairs and played about fifty different board games, and eating as much junk food as we possibly could. At about three in the morning of my thirteenth birthday it was time for a serious 'growing up' sisterhood talk.

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you have been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

When we finally decided to go to sleep we put in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and turned all the lights off. As soon as I was sure the other three girls were asleep I curled up into the smallest ball I could and cried myself to sleep.

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you