Drunken Moon

So, inevitably, in the day that followed everyone treated me with tenderness and as if I was some fragile glass statuette that would break if they so much as touched me. This didn't really help me at all, in fact it had an adverse affect. I felt watched by them all, and I wanted to get away from them as soon as I possibly could.

Luckily I made a break for it right before everyone really got into the swing of things. They were all still drinking their morning coffees and stirring when I left to catch the Amtrak to Springfield. There wasn't really anything of significance that happened while I was out. I did everything I told Tony I was going to do- I visited my mom's grave, then I swung by the house and put a few old artifacts in a box.

By the time I took the train back to the venue, though, it was well past seven at night and the guys were all back on the bus, rested and amped after their performance.

"Hey, Niki," Jaime called out, clapping my back as I walked on to the bus.

"Jaime," I said, smiling and giving him a hug.

"What's in the box?" he asked, "Need help with that?"

"Nah, it's light. It's just a few old things from the house, we have people coming in to see the house so I needed to get all of this stuff out."

"Oh," Jaime said, "Was it weird?"

I nodded slowly, "I mean, kind of. Technically, I don't have a house right now. I'm fucking homeless..." I laughed, shaking my head, "That was the only home I've ever had."

"So you gonna look for a new place?" Mike asked, popping the cap off of a beer and giving it to me.

I nodded as I glugged some of it down, "Yeah, yeah I suppose I'll have to. I need a base to go back to."

"Where will it be? Back in Springfield?"

I frowned, "No, for some reason I just don't feel that pull to the place as I used to. There's nothing left for me there anymore."

"So you literally can pick anywhere? That's exciting," Mike said, "Cough, San Diego."

I laughed, "Yeah, that was actually one of my first choices, in fact. It's the only other place I know as well as Illinois anyways."

"Guys, Niki's getting a place in San Diego!" Jaime yelled.

"Yeah! Party house," Vic exclaimed, walking in with a smile on his face.

"We're going to trash it, you do know that right?" Tony said, smiling evilly.

"Yeah, I know," I said, giggling. Oh, what would I do without these boys?

"Hey, do you wanna go grab a bite with me?" Vic asked.

I shook my head, "No, no I gotta go talk to Jack. I haven't seen him since yesterday, so I have to go explain everything to him."

"Yeah, right," Vic said, abruptly walking off towards his bunk.

I sighed and got up, shoving my phone in my pocket and walking out of the bus. I was wearing a strapless black dress since it was hot outside, but there was a slight breeze about the night that made my shoulders feel chilly.

Jack was waiting out by the buses with a sour look on his face, I ran up to him and hugged him, hoping to apologize profusely before he could even mouth me off.

"I'm so sorry," I said, engulfing him in a huge hug.

He sighed and hugged me back, "Do you wanna tell me what happened?" he asked, sounding annoyed.

We sat on the pavement and I explained everything to him- my mother's death, the panic attacks, how the attacks dated back to when my father used to molest me as a teenager and how they had resurfaced. He sat intently and nodded when necessary and let me get everything that I wanted to out before saying anything.

He put an arm around me and rubbed my shoulders, kissing my collarbone. "Look, I get that this is a hard time for you right now. But that's kind of what I'm here for, you know? I am your boyfriend, afterall. I wanna be the guy you run to with your problems and I wanna help...I mean I know I'm not the king of relationships, but as I understand that is how it's supposed to work?"

I nodded, "Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that for over two years Vic has been the one I've run to with everything. It seems like he's the one who knows me best, especially now that my mom's gone so it's just what I naturally gravitate towards," I explained, "Don't worry, though, now that you know I promise I'll keep you in the loop. I promise you'll be who I lean on."

"Good," Jack said, rubbing his hands together. "Then that's that and we don't have to talk about it ever again."

I smiled up at him, "What?" he asked.

"You're the best boyfriend ever, you know that?" I said, engulfing him in another hug and not letting go this time.

"So I've been told, multiple times," he said, "Usually by Alex when we're cuddling naked after a few too many glasses of wine...but that counts goddamnit!" he yelled, jokingly.

I laughed as he put his arm around my waist and we made our way towards catering to grab something to eat.