‹ Prequel: Wasted Nights
Drunken Moon
Thirteen
I hiccuped as I stretched my legs on to my friend Sarah's lap. I refilled my glass with white boxed wine and Sarah followed suit.
"What do I do?" I groaned, looking at her sadly.
"First of all, hon, that's enough wine for the night," she said, sternly, "And secondly...well, I don't know, really," she shrugged.
"Ugh," I whined.
"Look, I get that you're confused, but really it comes down to this- do you want to break up with Jack?"
"What?" I exclaimed, my head snapping up off the couch, "When did that even come up for consideration?"
"You are aware it's socially frowned upon to date two people at once, right?" Sarah said, sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "You obviously have to make a choice, because if what Vic said bothered you this much then you clearly still have unresolved feelings for him which means it's not fair to string Jack along."
"But I love Jack," I said, simply.
"Sweety, life isn't a movie where your love for someone is absolute and untainted, and while you can't date two people at once, you can love two people at once, trust me," she said, probably referring to when she had to make a choice similar to this herself, a few years ago.
"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "It's just that...Vic's always been there, you know?"
"Then dump Jack."
"Fuck no, I am not dumping Jack," I said.
"Then you're being selfish and entitled."
I sighed, "I suppose I am, huh?"
"Don't worry, love, the answer's right there in you, you just haven't realized it yet," she said, rubbing my arm and kissing my forehead.
"Sarah," I cooed, hugging her, "I am so royally screwed, either ways I'm gonna hurt someone. I just know that it took a lot for Vic to say what he did to me, and I'll always be loyal to the Pierce the Veil boys. They've saved me, you know they have. My loyalty will always lie with them, no matter what kinda shit we've dealt with."
"It seems like you know what you want, but you just don't wanna be the bad guy," Sarah said, insightfully.
"I don't wanna be the bad guy..." I mumbled, like a disgruntled child.
"Tough," she shrugged, "That's life, Niks. If you're going to have to let one of them down, it may as well be the one you've only been with for 5 months than the one who's way too intertwined in your life to leave."
"My head hurts," I said, pinching my nose, "You know what? Sorry girl, I need more wine," I said, reaching for the box despite Sarah's protests.
*
The waves were crashing against the shore and I'm pretty sure that my presence was most likely illegal since there were no lifegaurds around, nor anyone else, and it was well past eleven at night. I was glad I'd bought a thin sweater to throw over my sundress because it was really chilly. The sand felt a bit cold against my bottom, but after a few minutes of sitting there, it began to feel really nice.
I digged my toes into the sand and settled in, waiting for Vic to arrive. I had only texted him once I'd already reached the beach so I figured that I would have to wait for a while. I didn't mind that one bit as I had to go over everything that I wanted to say.
About fifteen minutes later, he walked up to the coast and quietly sat down beside. He pulled out a quart of rum from his back pocket, causing me to laugh.
"Stay class, San Diego," I snorted.
Vic laughed, "I figured...why not? If we get arrested for trespassing, we might as well as add public intoxication to that list, too."
"Good reasoning," I said, as he opened up the bottle, took a swig and cringed, handing me the bottle.
I took a tiny sip and handed it back, deciding to get everything I wanted to off of my chest. "Vic, I need to tell you something. Well, a lot of things. I've been meaning to do this since Christmas Eve, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't making a rash decision..."
He nodded, "I understand."
"I just- well, for one, I broke up with Jack," I said, quietly.
"What?!" Vic said, stunned.
I nodded, "It's not fair to him, Vic. It's just not. The fact that you're the one I want to run to when I'm torn up, this weird unresolved shit we have between us, it's not fair that he has to deal with that. He's a great guy, he deserves someone who is into him, a hundred percent. Not someone who's riding the fence like me."
"Well, I'm sorry you felt the need to leave him," Vic said, sincerely.
I nodded, "It's alright."
"Well, what does that mean for us?"
I sighed, taking the bottle from his hand and taking a sip. "That's what I can't seem to figure out. I can definitely not date anyone at the moment. I need time alone, I really love Jack, and I'm definitely not over that."
"I understand, Niki," he said, putting his arm around my shoulder and kissing the top of my head.
I rested my head on his shoulder, "Do you remember when you said that I was endgame?"
Vic nodded, "Well, did you mean that?" I asked.
"I'd never lie to you, Niki," he said, simply.
We sat in the sand for a few minutes in complete silence, and then Vic drove me home. Although there was a weird sadness in me, and a feeling of guilt for leaving Jack, I still felt a sense of resolve. I felt as if I had accomplished something, though I didn't know what yet. I was alone, and I was alright with it.
"What do I do?" I groaned, looking at her sadly.
"First of all, hon, that's enough wine for the night," she said, sternly, "And secondly...well, I don't know, really," she shrugged.
"Ugh," I whined.
"Look, I get that you're confused, but really it comes down to this- do you want to break up with Jack?"
"What?" I exclaimed, my head snapping up off the couch, "When did that even come up for consideration?"
"You are aware it's socially frowned upon to date two people at once, right?" Sarah said, sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "You obviously have to make a choice, because if what Vic said bothered you this much then you clearly still have unresolved feelings for him which means it's not fair to string Jack along."
"But I love Jack," I said, simply.
"Sweety, life isn't a movie where your love for someone is absolute and untainted, and while you can't date two people at once, you can love two people at once, trust me," she said, probably referring to when she had to make a choice similar to this herself, a few years ago.
"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "It's just that...Vic's always been there, you know?"
"Then dump Jack."
"Fuck no, I am not dumping Jack," I said.
"Then you're being selfish and entitled."
I sighed, "I suppose I am, huh?"
"Don't worry, love, the answer's right there in you, you just haven't realized it yet," she said, rubbing my arm and kissing my forehead.
"Sarah," I cooed, hugging her, "I am so royally screwed, either ways I'm gonna hurt someone. I just know that it took a lot for Vic to say what he did to me, and I'll always be loyal to the Pierce the Veil boys. They've saved me, you know they have. My loyalty will always lie with them, no matter what kinda shit we've dealt with."
"It seems like you know what you want, but you just don't wanna be the bad guy," Sarah said, insightfully.
"I don't wanna be the bad guy..." I mumbled, like a disgruntled child.
"Tough," she shrugged, "That's life, Niks. If you're going to have to let one of them down, it may as well be the one you've only been with for 5 months than the one who's way too intertwined in your life to leave."
"My head hurts," I said, pinching my nose, "You know what? Sorry girl, I need more wine," I said, reaching for the box despite Sarah's protests.
*
The waves were crashing against the shore and I'm pretty sure that my presence was most likely illegal since there were no lifegaurds around, nor anyone else, and it was well past eleven at night. I was glad I'd bought a thin sweater to throw over my sundress because it was really chilly. The sand felt a bit cold against my bottom, but after a few minutes of sitting there, it began to feel really nice.
I digged my toes into the sand and settled in, waiting for Vic to arrive. I had only texted him once I'd already reached the beach so I figured that I would have to wait for a while. I didn't mind that one bit as I had to go over everything that I wanted to say.
About fifteen minutes later, he walked up to the coast and quietly sat down beside. He pulled out a quart of rum from his back pocket, causing me to laugh.
"Stay class, San Diego," I snorted.
Vic laughed, "I figured...why not? If we get arrested for trespassing, we might as well as add public intoxication to that list, too."
"Good reasoning," I said, as he opened up the bottle, took a swig and cringed, handing me the bottle.
I took a tiny sip and handed it back, deciding to get everything I wanted to off of my chest. "Vic, I need to tell you something. Well, a lot of things. I've been meaning to do this since Christmas Eve, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't making a rash decision..."
He nodded, "I understand."
"I just- well, for one, I broke up with Jack," I said, quietly.
"What?!" Vic said, stunned.
I nodded, "It's not fair to him, Vic. It's just not. The fact that you're the one I want to run to when I'm torn up, this weird unresolved shit we have between us, it's not fair that he has to deal with that. He's a great guy, he deserves someone who is into him, a hundred percent. Not someone who's riding the fence like me."
"Well, I'm sorry you felt the need to leave him," Vic said, sincerely.
I nodded, "It's alright."
"Well, what does that mean for us?"
I sighed, taking the bottle from his hand and taking a sip. "That's what I can't seem to figure out. I can definitely not date anyone at the moment. I need time alone, I really love Jack, and I'm definitely not over that."
"I understand, Niki," he said, putting his arm around my shoulder and kissing the top of my head.
I rested my head on his shoulder, "Do you remember when you said that I was endgame?"
Vic nodded, "Well, did you mean that?" I asked.
"I'd never lie to you, Niki," he said, simply.
We sat in the sand for a few minutes in complete silence, and then Vic drove me home. Although there was a weird sadness in me, and a feeling of guilt for leaving Jack, I still felt a sense of resolve. I felt as if I had accomplished something, though I didn't know what yet. I was alone, and I was alright with it.