Payback

Tour finally came to an end, and Alex and I were officially home. I never forgot about our 'irrational fears' talk, and though I swore to myself that I wouldn't tease him about it, I kind of, maybe did.. just a bit.

Nothing ever too serious or anything, per ce, just things like covering the walls of his bunk in pictures of sock monkeys while he's out signing things after shows or randomly texting him other images of the little stuffed creatures. After looking at so many pictures of them, I could kind of see where he got the fear from; they are a bit freaky.

It never stopped me, though, and he would always get me back by doing the exact same thing that I'd done, but with spiders. The only difference with our silent battle, however, was the fact that everyone on the bus already knows I'm afraid of spiders. I'm the only one who knows about how Alex feels about sock monkeys. Therefore, I don't have to worry about having a mental breakdown or anything; Alex has to really be careful about it.

He also had to be cautious when it came to removing the images from his bunk walls, since if anyone saw them, they'd probably be able to put two and two together. I could always get Matt or Zack or Rian or anyone at all really to take down the spiders he put up, but Alex had to deal with the monkeys on his own.

For a while I honestly started to think that he'd started to get over his fear, or that he wasn't actually as scared of them as he thought he was, but that changed when I caught him crying in the back lounge at three in the morning, too scared to get in his bunk just in case he missed one. Did I feel bad? Of course. Did that stop me from continuing on? Fuck no it didn't.

We're home now, and I think that Alex thinks that my antics will come to an end relatively soon. Most of my 'on tour' shenanigans stop once we get home, but those also generally include members of other bands, whom I slowly lose contact with for a while. Alex and I live together, though, so I really don't see the point in ending the game. No, in fact, I think I want to step it up a notch.

And step it up a notch I have.

“Lex.. Lexy, wake up..” I coo softly, standing on my side of the bed.

“Fuck, just le'me alone,” he groans in response, throwing his arm over his eyes to shield out the sun beginning to stream through the curtains.

“No, come on, wake the fuck up,” I said a little more firmly, reaching out to poke at his cheek. He rolled over so that he was facing my side of the bed and reached out, wrapping his arms around the life-sized sock monkey I'd found only just yesterday. Hugging the creature closer to his chest, he inhaled deeply before stopping. His entire body froze before he gave it one more light squeeze.

“Jay, I know you're skinny and shit, but what the hell? Why can't I feel your bones? Am I dreaming?” he asked, though it was more a moody grumble than anything.

“Ow, that hurts,” I said softly, leaning in over the bed as much as I could so that he thinks he's holding me instead. I watch as his eyebrows draw together, his face scrunching up in confusion as he squeezes the plush toy once more, his hands wandering over the expanse of cotton before he slowly peels his eyes open.

It takes a second for his mind to truly register what he's holding, but when all the gears click correctly into place, he's shoving the doll away and rolling off the bed in the middle of a scream. I can't help it when I burst out laughing at his reaction, but when I get on the bed and crawl over to the opposite end, the sound of my hysterics still present in my ears, I see that he's close to full-on sobbing.

"Aw, baby," I coo softly, sliding off the bed and pulling him into my lap. He shows no resistance to my manhandling, and his fingers curl tightly into the fabric of my shirt as he buries his face in my neck, sharp inhales and exhales causing his body to shake uncontrollably.

"I fucking hate you, you stupid dick," I hear him choke out, but his actions would certainly beg to differ. I simply give him a reassuring squeeze, whispering sweet nothings in his ear as a form of an apology.

It takes about fifteen minutes, but soon he's calm enough to peel himself away from me. His tears have soaked right through my shirt, the completely doused material sticking a little uncomfortably to the flesh of my left shoulder.

"Get that fucking thing out of this god damn house now," he demands, leaning back to glare forcefully at me. "It's garbage day anyway; oh, and get the mail while you're out there." With that he's standing from my lap, shielding his eyes from the toy on the bed and storming out of the room.

"Alex, you know I can't get the mail!" I exclaim, climbing to my feet as well to follow after him.

He stops halfway down the stairwell to spin around, his gaze hard as he says, "And you know I can't fucking deal with sock monkeys, and yet you put a life-sized one in our bed. Jesus, Jack, were you not in there when I had a fucking meltdown? I think you can fucking handle getting the mail."

He's gone again, disappearing the rest of the way downstairs as a sigh passes through my lips. I trudge back to the room to grab the monkey before I come up with a better use for it than throwing it in the garbage.

"Lex, I'm gonna bring it to goodwill," I call as I pull a shirt on, deciding the sweatpants I slept in are good enough; it's not like I have anyone to impress or anything.

"Bring me the mail first!" he yells back while I grab my phone, keys and the plushie before making my way downstairs.

"It's too early for mail, Lex," I remind him when he comes into my sight once more, leaning against the kitchen counter with a glass of juice in hand.

His eyes flicker away from me, his hands visibly shaking, but only slightly, "Goodwill is on the other side of town."

"Yeah, but just because you don't like it doesn't mean that someone else won't," I point out, to which he scoffs.

"Who in their right fucking mind would get any sort of enjoyment out of that.. that.. thing?" he questions me incredulously, still not turning his head to look at me.

I shrug even though he isn't looking and answer, "I thought it was pretty enjoyable."

"Exactly," he says, nodding his head. "I asked who in their right mind would."

I roll my eyes at his words before taking a step closer, asking, "Can I at least get a kiss before I go?"

"Kiss the doll," he grumbles, walking around the other side of the island and disappearing into the living room without so much as another word.

One more sigh falls from my lips before I exit the house and hop in the car, settling the plushie into the passenger seat. I prepare myself for a long ass drive - because Alex was right, it is on the other side of town - before deciding that if I at least tried to hurry, maybe I could take him out to lunch or something to make it up to him.

With plans beginning to swirl through my head, I pull from the driveway and begin my journey.

------

"Lexy, I'm home," I call through the house as I hip check the door shut behind me.

"Is that demon-in-disguise gone?" he shouts from somewhere in the house, still sounding a little pissed off.

"Yes, it's gone."

"Did you get the mail?"

"Lex!" I whine, dragging the 'e' out as much as I can with one breath, making my way towards the sound of his voice.

"Jack," he says in response, tone even yet firm as he looks up from his spot on the couch when I walk into the living room. "Well? Go on then."

I want to argue further on this, but I also kind of don't quite feel up for sleeping in the guest room until the beginning of next tour, which is in a month.

A groan makes itself present in the air as I spin on my heel and start the dreaded walk towards the front door once more.

I feel fine, up until I'm stood on the sidewalk, staring at the hunk of curved metal stuck on a wooden post. My insides are churning and it's taking every bit of courage I have to not burst into tears and beg Alex - who is watching me from the front door - for forgiveness. I'm not about to give in that easily.

"Any day now would be great," I hear him call, and I shake my head to dispel the haunting thoughts circling my mind before moving to stand directly in front of the mailbox. My breathing turns heavy and my hands begin to shake, so I bite at my bottom lip and screw my eyes tightly shut, all of my strength going into regulating my now erratic heartbeat.

My throat closes up as I open my eyes once more and reach an unsteady hand out to grab the metal flap. The world begins to tilt on its axis as I come to the realization that I've stopped breathing altogether. I feel like I was more relaxed with my eyes closed, so I resume that blinded position as I pull the door open.

I don't feel anything jump out at me, so that's a plus. My eyes stay screwed shut, though, as I reach my free hand in to grab whatever the mailman has dropped off. My fingertips come into contact with paper, and I quickly scoop it up.

As I pull it out, something fuzzy brushes against my hand, staying right up against my thumb. I can feel my breath hitch in my throat, and my eyes fly open, just barely landing on the fucking giant tarantula staring right up me.

I can't even scream, but I don't hesitate to shove everything back in the box, my hand shooting out before I tear full speed at Alex. I jump into his awaiting arms, wrapping my legs around his waist as sobs rip from my throat. He stumbles a bit, but soon catches his footing.

I don't notice his body shaking with laughter against my own until my own body has begun to run out of fear. We're still standing in the doorway, and there's no doubt that people have stared while walking or driving by, but that isn't even important right now.

"You okay now, Jay?" he asks, still chuckling gently.

I shake my head no, which is hard to do since I've buried my face in the crook of his neck. "There's a giant ass spider in there, Lex," I whimper through my hiccups.

"C'mon," he coos softly, and I feel him lift me a bit higher on his hips before he starts walking. We get to the end of the driveway and he adjusts me so that I'm more on his hip than anything, like how you'd hold a small child. His right hand comes up to tilt my head towards the mailbox once more before he presses a kiss into my cheek and reaches his hand out to open it again.

I look away as he reaches inside, and then I feel his nose nudge against my cheek, urging me to look in his hand. I hold my breath and turn my head slowly, my eyes still squeezed shut until I'm facing where he wants me to look.

Peeling my eyes open, I glance at his free hand, which is now holding a spider beanie baby. It's not even close to being scary anymore, and now I'm just filled with anger.

"I fucking hate you, you stupid son of a bitch," I growl, wriggling out of his grip to storm into the house as he doubles over with laughter, clutching at his sides as though he'd split in half if he didn't.

"You know what they say, baby," I hear him call from the sidewalk as I'm about to slam the front door shut behind me, "payback's a bitch!"