I Think I Love Him

Zachary's house was small, not like one of those one room houses or trailers, but it was small. There was no car out front and the lawn was a mix of green grass and dirt patches. There where what looked like clay animal figures in the garden, and it was actually, nice. A few flowers and it was cute. Sort of brought charm to the poor, run down, sad house. The windows are broken and cracked, curtains drawn to a darkness. The windows where dirty and my bet of a hundred bucks to say the curtains where dusty to. The brown paint was peeling and the house was one story. It looked like a shed in the back and a big tree. There was also two in the front. All in the colors of orange, yellow, red and brown. There was two bikes to the side of the house, one was Barbie themed and the other was a red and black BMX bike. I never heard Zachary mention anything about him BMXing or biking in general. Oh well, he does have 3 other brothers. I lock my fingers in Zachary's and smile. The house was just this small cube from the outside, it had the big windows, It could have been nice. But...it was just a sad looking house. But if Zachary lived here, Its gonna be great. Zachary and me walked to the front door and he opened it, I swear the door could have fallen off its hinges. The first thing you saw when you walked inside was wood floors and a short hallway. A closet that we put our shoes and jackets in. Theres only three jackets in the closet and the five pairs of shoes, not including ours. Walking down the hall Zachary shakes and shivers and over all sweats a fuckin tidal wave. I grin and before me go any further I kiss him on the back of the neck and he lets out a big sigh. We walk into his living room and there was a old couch and a 46 inch TV. There was also a table in the middle and a book case off to the side of the wall. It had some books on it, like the ones from our school and journals, a bunch of little kid books and magazines.
"Sorry it's not much...We got the TV in 2011, a gift from Dante when he go back his tax-"
"Don't need to explain, Is anyone home?"
"What time is it?"
"Roughly 5:30, why?"
"We still got about a hour or less till Randle comes home with Annie and Elias. And my moms home by about seven."
"Whats her job?"
We walk into the kitchen and Zachary goes to a cabinet. The kitchen is vary small, a stove, refrigerator, a small table, sink and a few cabinets.
"She works in a food processing bank...some days she's making sausage or cleaning fruit, or even packaging meat or folding boxes...."
"Well that's nice, doesn't sound that bad"
"Yea...Just wish she was home more...Want something to drink?"
I smile and walk up beside him
"Yea what you got?"
He opens the refrigerator and I slowly creep my fingers around his waist.
"We have water, milk, and peach tea?"
"Do you even need to ask?"
"Haha, I should have known."
He pours the peach tea into two glasses and hands one to me, I have this deep dark love for peach tea, its my favorite thing to drink, really. Zachary's is hot chocolate. I love him. He's so cute and innocent. And I like that. I set my glass down and wrap my arms around his waist again. He leans his head back and I smother my face in his warm and soft hair. He sighs and whispers.
"Your messing up my hair you know.."
We swing back and forth gently. I bite and tug at his hair.
"Yea, but you like it..."
"I do..."
"Hehe...Hey I have a idea..."
Zachary looks over at me
"Wha?"
"Don't you think its about time you show me your room?"
Zachary smiles and sets down his cup, turns over and grabs my hand, walking me out of the kitchen and threw the living room. To the left of the room is three doors, one that's covered in Barbie, Hello Kitty, Transformer's and Batman stickers. The names Annie and Elias where drawn out on two pieces of paper covered in glitter and child drawn skulls. The room next to it had a picture of Zachary and his name, CARVED into the door. He opens it and we go inside. There's a...bed of sorts on the floor, no frame, but just the mattress and a bunch of different colored blankets and pillows and a few stuffed animals. There's a panda, a pony, Koala, Giraffe and a Penguin. Theres a huge stack of CD's in the corner along with a closet full of shirts and his jackets and pants. Theres a few posters, One of Johnny Depp, Marilyn Manson, Marilyn Monroe. I walk over and look at it.
"Now she's beautiful..." I say with a smile.
Zachary comes over and puts his arms around my neck.
"She sure is....Wish I was her..."
"I hope your never her"
He turns me around.
"Why?!?! EVen you admitted-"
"Shes beautiful alright, But I like you the way you are, your way better then her...so much better...she can't even compare..."
I grab his hands around my neck and kiss them. His nails painted a fine dark purple, with just a hint of shimmer. He has a Owl City and a ABK poster to. A Farewell To Freeway and Jungle Rot posters to top it off. The walls behind it where stained and had holes and markings in them. He has a TV on the floor and a rack full of bracelets, necklaces and armbands. A lamp next to his mattress and a pair of speakers. I go and sit down on his bed, laying down to be exact.
"Ill be right back"
"Ill be waitin!"
He rolls his eyes and I lay back. My eyes closed. I take the moment to think. Zachary is pretty poor, but why? He even said so himself that it was in 2011 they last got new stuff...Why did it change? Why was he able to afford the cloths and shirts and CD's and everything? Why'd it all stop after wards...Maybe a divorce? A death in the family? Zachary comes back in with our bags. He pulls out the undead teddy bear and places it in the middle of the bed. I roll to my side and face him.
"You like it huh?"
"Hell yes! Its perfect."
I grab his stuffed Giraffe and hug it. Teasingly I say
"Who gave you this?"
"Someone"
"It wasn't here before!!!"
"Its no big deal! Why do you always have to be like this?!"
"ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME!??!?!"
We both start laughing and he lays on the bed to. Clutching the bear to his chest.
"Where not even together...dating or whatever..."
I stare at him with a straight face, he looks over.
"What?"
"Tell me if I'm crazy...but...We could be together you know."
He sits up a little and I move over closer.
"Your crazy..."
"No Zachary, I'm being serious..."
"You mean like...boyfriend girlfriend don't you?"
"Yes Zacky."
He laughs. I feel my heart drop a tad bit. He climbs on top of me and his mouth drops.
"You really are being serious aren't you?"
"Yes...I mean...come on...whats the worse that could happen? We get bullied? We already get bullied enough, so what? The only difference is that when they call us gay queer fags, we can be proud of it!"
"That's...not it Anthony..."
"Then what is it!?"
Tears start to form in his eyes and I hug him. He turns his head into my arms and cries.
"I'm sorry Zachary...didn't mean to yell...I just...love you-"
Zachary holds up his finger. A thin and small green contact lens is on the tip of his finger.
"Zachary-"
"I don't want to be with you because I don't deserve you."
I cant help but just stare at him. His left eye was naturally green, but his right eye, was a dark, dark almost black. It looks as if someone gave him an all black eye ball. Even the white around it was darkening. At first, it creeped me out to be honest, Why didn't he tell me?
"Zachary..."
He sniffles and I kiss him on the lips, holding his face in my hands. He's hot and has such smooth soft skin. His face red and shaking.
"I deserve you....You actually don't deserve me...you deserve someone better...."
"But there is no one better then you Anthony..."
"That's why I want to be with you....You deserve me...and I deserve you...and I wanna know everything about you, I want you to not lie to me, or hide things from me....I don't care about what your house looks like! The cloths you have or the jobs your family has to have! Zachary...I know...Were going pretty fast....but I can't help it. You make me feel so alive and special...I never thought it would be like this! But I'm overjoyed that that's where it went. So don't be embarrassed by things you cant control...because you could never make me think less of you, or hate you, or even make me be ashamed or anything. You know why?"
Zachary stares at my and I have to use my thumb's to move the tears. He still holds the teddy bear in his arms and I smile at him.
"...whhhyyy...."
"Because, your perfect, and when someone truly loves someone else, nothing they do will ever change there mind. And that's because I absolutely love you..."
"But...I have-"
"I do to, look"
I take out my contacts and show him my multicolored eyes. His mouth drops and I smile, setting down my contacts I lean over and kiss him.
"See? Your not alone, your never ever gonna be alone because I love you...And unlike anyone else"
I grab him and pull him on top of me, with a smile I bring his face down and close my eyes.
"I'm not gonna leave you...whatever you need from me just ask...money...cloths...food....Don't be shy alright?"
"Alright..."
"Now, don't you wanna kiss me now?"
He laughs and comes down to kiss me, wrapping my legs around his body to pull him in closer.
"Don't hide your eyes from me either, there beautiful..."
"Then don't hide yours..."
We look at each other and rub our noses.
"Deal...but that means a bad thing for me..."
"What?"
I get up and role over off the bed and to my backpack, pulling out a small case. I open them up and then walk back over.
"You wear glasses?!?!"
They look like nerd glasses, all black but still cool. Like the glasses Laura Prepon wears with her character Alex in Orange Is The New Black. Those ones. He giggles and I shake my head
"Oh shut up would you Damian?"
"Hahaha!"
"You always laugh don't you?"
"Yea...your the only one that really calls me that and you say it funny!"
"Lalalalala!"
We lay on his bed and watch TV for a little while, snuggling into each other and kissing threw out the breaks. We hear the door open.
"Zachary!!!! Home!!!"
"Who's home?"
"My family, Randle got off early today I'm guessing, come on!"