A Girl In The Shadows

I came back home crying. Tears comeing down my face. As i turn of the alarm and head strait to the kitchen and i find it........

I find the knife that cut me last year and i hold it up to my chest ready to stab my self. Then suddently a whole flash back of my life comes to me!

I see all the pain and suffering i went through. And i slowly touch the tip of the kife to my chest. And start to dig in.

The the phone rings i tried to ignor it but i picked it up anyway! Right after i hung up the phone i went back to the same posion.

I think who it will affect and how. Well my mom would be soooo happy, my dad fairly sad, and my sister lonely but not one of them sad enough to cry.

Tears blurr up my vision as i push the knife into my skin. But i wasn't crying because of the kife i was crying because..

I finally notice that not even my dad cared about me or my dreams they only knew my name.
My friends even no me much better.

Life wasn't good and i wish i had a chance to do it again. Push the nife in hard and scream from pain.

I let go of the nife and it dosent fall to the floor instead drops of blood. Red and shiny until they make a puddle on the floor.

Its like some of emotional pain was taken away from every drop that flew to the floor.

They looked like diamonds falling to the ground. They were my ticket to a better place my first step to dying.

The only thing that kept me from pushing it in any farther was thinking about my friends. But i got over that when i heard someone open the front door!

It was Melinda! I rip the nife out and rinse it under the sink and run up stairs. My blue top is drownded in blood and falling to the bathroom floor. I hold a towel to the cut and start rinseing my shirt

And i stay up in my room the rest of the day listening to my family eat dinner and watch TV until they all go back to sleep.

But i keep thinking on how close i was to death so close to freedom. Tears came rushing to my eyes knowing i missed my chance

Then i cry myself to sleep.