Pinky Promises

My date with Will had went pretty good if I did say so myself. I was not only happy that I had found someone with an actual brain but someone who couldn't even work up the nerve to hold my hand while we were walking down the street.

"I had a good time." I said as I had gotten to my car. Will looked at me and gave me one of the most adorable smiles I had seen on a man.

"Me too. So does that mean you'll wanna do it again some time?"
He had asked.

I hesitated for only a second before answering, "Yeah of course. Just call me anytime."

I smiled at the memory and stretched out on my couch. It was
Sunday and the sun was just starting to go down, the humidity in the air pretty suffocating. I wondered if the guys would be back tonight or if they were going to stay until morning.

I had missed Jimmy a lot, especially at night when I looked over and didn't see any of the lights on. It made me feel empty almost and I knew that if he ever moved away or got married and left me I would feel completely miserable.

I let out a long breath then closed my eyes for a few seconds. I was just going to rest my eyes, so I thought. I wasn't tired. I was good. My heart beat slowed down, my awareness started to get fuzzy. I was inhaling and exhaling more gently. I was so comfortable that when I heard my phone start to ring I almost couldn't bring myself back to answer it.

I groaned and picked it up, peeling one eye open to see the name.
A pictured of Gandalf was popped up on the screen and I knew it was my father. I sat up a little straighter and hit the talk button.

"Hi Dad." I said.

"Hello Layla. Did I wake you?"

"Not really. I just started to doze when the phone rang."

"Ahh. Okay. Listen, I've got something to tell you."

Just by the tone in my father's voice I knew something was wrong. My heart immediately sank and I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Uncle Everette passed away tonight."

Tears stung my eyes before I even realized I was crying. There was a lump in my throat that I couldn't swallow and a terrible pain in the side of my head. "Oh." I said quietly. "Um...well... How's Aunt Beth?"

"She's not good, truthfully. She's got Jolene with her and Kacy."

Jolene was my Aunt's best friend and Kacy was my cousin. Or the favorite niece. I yelled at myself mentally. Her husband had just died, old grudges could wait.

"I just wanted to call and let you know, so you didn't say 'He died and no one told me'. I don't know what the plan is for a funeral or anything like that. I'm not about to ask your aunt."

"Okay... well. Thanks for letting me know."

"Of course. You'll be alright, won't ya?"

I nodded though I knew he couldn't see it. "Yeah, I'm good. Just you know, a little sad but...you know."

"Yeah..well alright, I'll let you go. I love you, Layla."

"Love you too Dad."

After we hung up the memories that I had built with my Uncle started flooding in to my head all at once. It was like a brain overload of summers when I was a kid, movies that he took us to see, or the time we had gone to Fort Knox and climbed in through the walls. It was painful yet happy all at the same time and I wasn't sure I knew how to deal with that.

Tears were streaming down my face and finally the realization of the fact that no matter how bad I wanted to, no matter how hard I wished I could, I would never get to see my uncle again. I wouldn't be able to make jokes or tell him about the stupid things Jimmy and I had done. I wouldn't get to tell him I loved him or hug him. He was gone and there was nothing that would bring him back.

My chest started to tighten and it was getting difficult to breathe. I closed my eyes and tried to stay focused but it was hard with the spinning in my head. Why did this have to happen to him? Why did it have to happen to anyone really, but especially him? I had said that to him before and he said "Shit happens. It happens to everyone. It sucks, but it's true."

The sound of his voice the last day I had seen him echoed in the air, how soft spoken he was and how he had looked at me with a tear in his eye. I didn't mention it or bring it up but I had caught it.
I don't know how long I sat there huddled up hugging my pillow, but when there was a knock at the door I slowly forced myself to pull back the curtain and look out the window.

Jimmy was standing there, shirtless as always, smoking a cigarette.

I got up and walked to the door, bumping in to things as I went, and finally opened the door.

"Hey Lay- What's wrong?" He asked, his smile quickly fading.
I couldn't get out the words before I started sobbing. The feeling of guilt for not going to see Uncle Everette one more time washed over me and I covered my mouth with my hand.

"Layla, what's wrong? You're scaring me, are you okay?" Jimmy stepped in and grabbed me, pulling me to his warm body. He threw the cigarette out on the ground and came in, closing the door.

"Uncle Everette passed away." I said when I got myself a little more under control.

"What? Awe, I'm sorry, Lay." He cradled me in his arms and I didn't want to let go. Would this be what it felt like when I lost Jimmy? The feeling of not being able to breathe or talk, a crushing weight on my chest? The feeling of guilt because I sat back and did nothing the entire time?

"I didn't even go back and see him like I said I would." I cried.

"I know." He said stroking my hair.

Outside there was a bright flash and then a low rumble followed. A storm was coming. I let go of Jimmy long enough to look out the window and then back at him.

"You guys came home tonight, huh?" I asked trying to wipe away some stray tears.

"Yeah...there's a bad storm headed this way, we were right in front of it the whole way...I came over because I saw your lights and TV still on through the window and figured maybe you were still up...."

"I fell asleep earlier then Dad called...."

Jimmy put his arms around me once again and lead me to the couch where we sat down and I clung on to him for another fifteen minutes of crying. When I was finally done and I was sure that I had myself together Jimmy went in the kitchen and made me some tea.

"Thank you." I said as he handed it to me.

"No problem. Anytime."

"So...did you have fun at least?" I asked trying to keep my mind off from my uncle for the moment.

"Yeah it was amusing. Charlie fell in the water and caught a hook to the back of his head. Dillon caught an eel and fought with it for like ten minutes before getting it to shore and in a bucket, and when we woke up the next day it was gone. No idea where the fucking thing went, which was creepy to me. I was expecting wake up one morning with it staring at me."

I laughed. "What about you and Matt?"

"Matt ended up choppin' the fire wood and I ended up just getting high the entire time I was there."

"Jimmy." I scolded but he knew I didn't care if he smoked pot.
Most of the time I would rather him smoke than get drunk just because he blacked out when he had too much alcohol.

"Hey, I was good. I ate food and by food I don't mean anyone's face so."

Another smile escaped my lips and Jimmy looked satisfied.

"There you go. There's the smiles I wanted to see."

A bolt of lightning danced across the sky and lit up the outside, followed by a deep rumbling.

"It's gonna get a lot worse." He said catching my look. "If you want...I can stay here tonight."

I looked at him and nodded. "Yeah. Please?"

"You don't even have to ask. Let me go lock the door and I'll be right back okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

He left and I made my way upstairs to get pillows and blanket so we could sleep downstairs on the floor. I just wanted to turn on the TV, watch movies and stay wrapped around Jimmy. That was what would make me feel better.

I thought about Will and our date for a second then sighed. It was one date, and it went good, but Will wasn't my boyfriend. We agreed to see each other again and we would, it wasn't like I was hooking up with Jimmy. He was just helping me through a hard time. I grumbled at myself for even feeling guilty then went back downstairs to prepare the bed we would be sleeping on.
When Jimmy came back he had a few cans of beer and looked at my handy work. "Nice. We sleeping on the floor?"

"The couch is too small for the both of us to lay comfortably. So.. yes, we're sleeping on the floor."

He grinned. "Alright, that's okay with me."

We got comfortable, me resting my head on Jimmy's chest as he drank his beers and watched 'Ironman', and I skimmed through my Facebook to see if there was anything interesting on there. My heart sank as I read the things about my Uncle, especially one that my brother Jackson wrote.

When the tears started again Jimmy put down his beer, reached over and grabbed my phone and put it on the nightstand by the couch. Then he turned to me. "You're not checking that thing again until morning okay?" I nodded and he put his arms back around me, kissing the top of my head.

"This is so unfair." I whispered. "He has a little girl. I don't have kids, and I'm fine. He had a baby, and he didn't even get to stick around to see her go to high school."

"I know." He said kissing the top of my head again.

"Why does it have to happen to the ONLY people that understand
me completely? What am I gonna do if something happens to you? Huh? Who am I gonna have-"

"Whoa. Whoa, Layla I'm not going anywhere so don't you even worry about that. I'm fine. I've been to the doctors I'm okay."

"Yeah? So was he a year ago! The this all happened and in the last six months everything has gone to fuckin' hell." I cried. "I don't wanna lose you too, Jimmy. I can't handle that."

Jimmy placed his lips on the side of my temple, "You're not gonna lose me. I promise I'll stay right here for as long as you need me to. I'm not going anywhere."

"How do I know that? You can't promise me something like that!"
"I never break my promises to you. Ever. I promise, I'm not
leaving you."

I didn't make him pinky promise. That would be the end of him in itself, making that kind of promise and not being able to fulfill it. He always kept the pinky promises no matter what it did to him.

"I just don't know what I'm gonna do without you when it does come time." I said.

"Hey. Stop it." His lips went from the side of my head to my cheek.
"I'm not going anywhere, I told you."

"Everyone dies. You can't avoid it Jimmy, and you said yourself your heart-"

"Stop." He said again quietly.

"But-"

"Layla, stop. Please." His lips moved from my cheek to my chin and then without warning to my own lips. For a minute he just lingered there and then very gently he applied force.

I had never kissed Jimmy like that before. Normally when we kissed it was just a quick goodnight thing on the cheek, it was never with the feelings that were inside of me now.

Jimmy's hand slid up my side and to my face and then to my head where his fingers tangled in my hair.

What were we doing? No, what was Jimmy doing?

Almost as if he could read my mind he pulled back and looked at me. "If you don't want me to kiss you then tell me no."

I looked back at him for a long moment then grabbed him and pulled him to me.

I wasn't the romantic type. Every guy I had ever been with was a disaster and I had never been one to take the lead. I was too afraid too, especially after what had happened with Jeremy. With Jimmy it was different. I felt comfortable taking the lead as I pushed him in to a laying position and leaned on top of him. His hands slid up my shirt and he placed them on my sides, every so often gently digging his nails in.

The storm outside had taken a turn from almost puttered out to thrashing, with the thunder now so loud it shook the entire apartment. I ignored it even though it did frighten me a little bit and kept my attention on Jimmy who was now moving his hands up to the back of my bra.

He undid the clasp with ease and I sat up long enough to slide it out of the sleeve of my shirt and toss it across the room.

"Wow. That was impressive." Jimmy said with a slight grin on his face.

"Why thank you." I laughed and then leaned back down again.

In the back of my head there was a tiny voice that said if we continued the path we were going down our friendship would never be the same. We were close but to sleep with someone was to get on a whole new level of closeness with them.

Ever so smoothly Jimmy tugged my shirt and it came up over my head. He threw it across the room and then looked at me. For a minute I could feel myself blush and I let my long hair fall and cover myself up.

"You're so pretty, have I ever told you that?" He asked.

I smiled. "Yeah, you've told me."

"Well..it's true. You're gorgeous."

"Thank you." I said softly.

He reached up and with an almost uncertainty moved my hair away so he could get a better look. Normally I would have punched the guy in the face for making me uncomfortable but this was different. I wasn't afraid of him seeing me this way.

"I don't think anyone would have a problem with you running around shirtless when it gets too hot, you know." He said reminding me of the conversation we had had in the car that day heading to Lubec.

Lubec. The place where my uncle had spent his last few days. No, I wasn't going to let that interrupt what was happening now. I pushed it out of my head and smiled at Jimmy then leaned down once again.

I wasn't sure how far Jimmy intended it on going but as we started to lose ourselves in the kissing my hands drifted further down his chest until the reached the top of his pants where the button was. I slowly worked it with my fingers until the button came undone and unzipped his pants.

Jimmy sucked in a sharp breath and I looked at him. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't be. Believe me, don't be. It's just...different this time. It's you."

"I know...maybe we shouldn't..."

"I won't push you. You know that." He said.

I looked down at him and traced his tattoos with my finger, letting my hand follow the 'Fiction' one that lead down to his stomach. I then let my hands grab a hold of his pants and started to pull them off. Once that was taken care of I tossed them somewhere in the room.

Jimmy helped take my own pants off then there we were. Two almost fully naked people with no clue on how to go on because we weren't sure how it would effect us.

"I want to do this." I said as thunder loudly cracked in the back ground.

"Are you sure? Absolutely sure? I don't want things to get weird between us after this..." He said.

"They won't. I won't be any different, will you?"

He shook his head. "No."

I smiled. "Then I think we should do this."

He returned the smile. "I think we should too."