Pinky Promises

"You know what I find to be total bullshit?" Charlie asked me as we were putting food on the grill.

"What's that, Charlie?" I asked, knowing that this always lead to a rant that in the end had nothing to do with what he started out saying.

"I haven't met a decent girl in over a week."

"That's because all the decent ones you find you just fuck with and they tell their decent little friends." Dillon said carrying a tray of burgers to him. "If you were smooth with the ladies like me then
you would be alright."

"Smooth with the- Right." Charlie said and even though I couldn't see his eyes behind his sunglasses I knew he was rolling them.

"None of you are as smooth with the ladies as me." Matt said.
"You guys go on over night dates, I've got an actual date with a real girl who I don't have to fill with air before she will sit with me."

I laughed at the image of Dillon and Charlie fine dining blow up dolls and returned to my spot next to Jimmy near the fire.

"I'll fill you with air. I'll shove that thing up your-"

"So what's up?" I asked in order to block out the conversation that had now been started between the other three.
Jimmy looked at me and smiled. "Nothing."

"You look distracted. You all good?"

"You've been asking me that for the last three days, I'm fine." He said.

I wasn't sure if he was fine or not, he didn't look fine, but I wasn't going to argue with him. I just didn't want anymore secrets between us.

"Hey, what are you doing after the cook out?"

He shrugged. "Who knows. Nothing probably, why?"

"Wanna hang out? Just the two of us?"

He laughed. "Don't we do that anyway?"

"Not lately." I said.

He frowned. "Yeah well..I've just been tired."

"Are-"

"Layla, don't ask me if I'm okay." He said quietly.

"Sorry..." I got up and ventured back over to the boys, Jimmy
didn't bother to stop me.

"I'm not doing it. I did it last time." Matt said.

"I'm not doing it." Dillon said. "I don't want to."

"Well, don't look at me and you know skinny fuck over there won't do it."

"What are you guys arguing over now?" I asked and crossed my arms.

"Who's chopping the firewood for our man trip this weekend." Matt said.

"I'd guess you would do that, you're the only one here with any strength."

Dillon looked at me and Charlie slammed the spatula down on the grill, then lifted his glasses so he could get a good look at me.

"What?" I asked. "It's true."

Matt grinned happily. "Thank you. See? Even she knows what the ladies want."

I laughed and shook my head. Once Matt wandered off to the house to get a beer Dillon and Charlie looked at me.

"What? Oh come on, I was trying to butter him up so he'd do it. It looked like it worked."

"Ohhh, I see. That was for our benefit. Callin' us weaklings." Dillon said.

"Maybe, if it works, right?"

Charlie laughed. "Yeah right. I could chop circles around him."

"I could chop circles around the both of you." Dillon argued.

I knew that this would eventually lead to them all having a contest to see who could chop the most, which would lead to three of them chopping furiously all at once. The fire wood would be done in ten minutes and no one would complain.

"So what's up with Jimmy?" Charlie asked.

"You noticed that too? I hoped it was just me being paranoid."

"No, he's been acting quiet and shit lately. I dunno what it is."

"What are you two talking about? He was the same little asshole he always is at my house last night."

"He has barely said anything to me since he saw me at Layla's house the other night." Charlie said. "You?"

"Kinda the same."

"Weird, he's been okay with Matt and me."

I frowned. So if he was okay with Matt and Dillon, why was he so quiet around Charlie and I?

"Whatever, maybe he's just zoning out. He does that sometimes." Dillon shrugged it off but when I looked at Charlie he also had a thinking cap on.

"Weird. Ah well. Hey, go get Matt and tell him to bring me a beer too, will you?" Charlie said to Dillon.

"Yes sir!" He gave him a salute then ventured off.

"You don't think it's cuz of that night we were watching Die Hard, do you?" Charlie asked as soon as we were alone.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. You two are obviously the best friends here... even though I've known that fucker for years, maybe he just thought you and I were spending too much alone time and he's gonna be squeezed out."

I looked over at Jimmy who was staring at the fire and then back at Charlie. "Do you really think he'd think that? I've known you guys for awhile now, it's not like I'm gonna just replace him."

"Maybe he's jealous."

"Of you trying to steal his best friend spot?"

"No, of us being alone together in general."

"Huh?"

"Am I not speaking English?" Charlie asked annoyed. "I think he has a thing for you. Maybe he's just afraid that I'm gonna move in on it before he gets a chance."

I laughed loudly then shook my head. "No, that can't be it. That's not how it works."

Though his strange behavior was a mystery to me, I was pretty sure it wasn't because he had feelings for me. I was almost convinced it was because his heart had something to do with it, but did Charlie and the others know? I didn't want to bring it up if he had kept it a secret from everyone else.

"What do you mean 'that's not how it works'? Is there some kind of thing that says it'll never happen?"

"Yeah. Us. We don't see each other that way. Do you know how dumb it is to mess up a friendship by trying to romance that person? It always ends up so bad."

"Or good. You could get married and have cute kids then you know, move away and become famous."

"Please. That's not happening."

"What's not?" Matt asked as he and Dillon rejoined us.

"Me choppin' firewood. I don't care, I'm not doing it." Charlie changed the subject and I was grateful. I turned to look at Jimmy and saw him heading for the house so I waited a few minutes before excusing myself and following him.
When I got inside Jimmy was standing in his kitchen leaned up against the sink. "Hey, you." I said softly.

"Come to check on me?" He asked.

"No... I came to use the bathroom."

"Ah."

I headed for the bathroom to make it look good then paused.
"Jimmy, I know you don't want me to ask if you're okay, but you're kind of....scaring me."

He turned and looked at me. "I'm physically okay, if that's what you want to hear. My heart isn't the problem."

I nodded. "Alright, well that's some relief I guess."

"Some?"

"Well yeah, something is obviously going on with you. If you don't wanna talk about it, it's okay. Have I ever pushed you if you didn't wanna talk about something?"

He shook his head. "No."

"See? I just...worry about you. Like when you worried about me after the whole pit party thing. You wouldn't leave me alone, and even though I was fine you still stuck around. I don't want you to be going through something and just need me to annoy you to death about it." I smiled at him but his facial expression remained the same. "Jimmy...." I walked up to him.

"It's nothing to worry about, okay? I promise." He said.

"You can't ask me not to worry about you with you acting so out of character. What would you do if I was doing the same thing? I know what you'd do. You'd never let it go."

He sighed and looked down at the floor. "I just..."

"HEY! Charlie wants to know if you want ...cheese.....or.......for me to interrupt ....something." Matt said poking his head through the door. "Um, yeah, cheese is good." He said and then walked off.

I couldn't help but laugh. I turned back to Jimmy and there was a slight smile on his face. "If there's something going on, that isn't heart related, you know you can tell me. Right?"

"Duh." He said.

"Then why aren't you?"

"Because maybe you don't need to know everything."

This hurt. I knew I didn't need to know everything, but it was just the way he said it.

"Layla.."

"No, it's okay. I get it. I don't need to know everything. We've had this discussion before."

"Not this again." He grumbled.

"No, it's not. It's really okay. I promise. I won't bug you about it anymore." I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm and slid his
hand down to mine.

"Don't go out there feeling hurt or mad at me because of what I said."

"I'm not." I said turning back to look at him. "It's really okay."

He sighed. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to tell me...."

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "Of course I'll tell you."

"You and Charlie...."

My eyes widened and I knew where this was going.

"I came over that night, I didn't meant to intrude or whatever on your..hanging out.."

"You didn't..."

"Okay."

"Jimmy?"

"Yes?"

"That...wasn't really a question." I laughed a little and he broke out in a normal Jimmy smile.

"Sorry, uh-"

"Jimmy?"

He looked at me.

"Do you think Charlie and I have a thing going or something?"
He didn't say anything.

"JIMMY! You fool! IS that why you've been acting so strange? You thought? Charlie?"

He shrugged. "I didn't know."

"Please. I like Charlie, he's cool shit...but as far as women goes
he's a fuckin' dog. I can say that because I love him, but no. Besides, there's rules to hooking up with friends."

"There are?" He asked.

"Yes, well okay, only one."

"What's that?"

"You don't do it!"

He smiled. "Oh."

"Jimmy...you REALLY thought that? Is that why you got mad when he called me a hoe?"

"Kind of... I mean, I figured maybe he was just trying to cover up or something...or you know how he is...I didn't want him to see
you that way."

I laughed. "Ah, Charlie knows I'm not a hoe. He knows I could also whoop his ass.... he figured something was up though you know, since you haven't said much to him or me."

Jimmy let go of my hand and ran them both over his head into his hair. "I'm sorry. I just.. I don't know. I get a little crazy and over protective and then I just..."

"I know you do. It's okay, and just so you're absolutely sure, no. Charlie and I aren't having a secret affair or anything like that. He was just watching Die Hard with me because Matt and Dillon were busy. Shit, I even asked Matt first."

He nodded. "Alright..."

"Can I ask you something now?"

He nodded again.

"Why does it matter? I mean, other than the fact it's Charlie."

"I....well every time you hook up with a guy he's an asshole. Or just fuckin' plain stupid. You don't do very good at picking out guys, that's no secret. I just.... If you were gonna hook up with one of us in the group I didn't want it to be him."

"Who would you rather it be?" I asked.

"Foods done!" Matt said poking his head back in the door.
"Or.....well, it's...ready when you guys are ...done...damnit, STOP SENDING ME IN HERE!" he yelled as he headed back to the backyard.

I laughed. "Come on. Stop moping and be hungry and eat food with us. HEY! What are you doing later?"

"Nothing, why?"

"You're doing something now. Come on, let's go."

-

Later that night I convinced Jimmy to get in the car and not ask any questions about where we were going. Of course, it didn't take much convincing, he was up for anything usually and with him being back to his normal self he was all for it.

Once we reached the familiar old dirt road to my camp Jimmy
perked up even more than what he had been. I was glad to see him back to his normal self after our talk about Charlie.

"Is your folks here?" He asked unbuckling his seat belt knowing he wouldn't need it anymore. It was my one rule in the car, you always wore that seat belt. Not because I felt that it would help, but because I didn't want a ticket over something that stupid. If I was going to get written up it had better be for something big.

"Nope everyone's been cleared out for a few days. It'll just be us.
Is that okay with you?" I teased.

He smiled. "It's always okay with me."

We reached the end of the road where camp was and I parked in the same spot I had previously and turned off the vehicle. I looked over and Jimmy and grinned.

"What?"

"You're not afraid of boats are you?"

He shook his head. "Not last I checked."

"Good, come on."

We hopped out of the car and walked down to the dock where my father's boat, a yellow sporty looking thing, was tied up and I tossed our things in.

"Are we stealing?" Jimmy asked with a rather amused look on his face.

"No we're not stealing you fool. I take this thing all the time."

"All the time? When's all the time, because I'm with you all the time and-"

I pushed Jimmy so he fell toward the boat, leaving him no choice but to hop in. "Shh, just go with it okay. No questioning."

"You could've killed me!" He said.

"No, you'd be fine." I replied as I untied the knots holding the boat.
"Besides, the worst that would've happened is you fallin' in the water."

"OR smashing my head off the boat. OR drowning."

"The water comes up to my chest. I think you'd be okay if you stood up since you're like five feet taller than me, and as for smashing your head... I would have apologized!"
I hopped in the boat with him and dug underneath the seats for paddles. He looked at me curiously. "Doesn't this thing have a
motor?"

"Yes."

"Then why-"

"Because we want this to be quiet. We don't wanna disturb nature. We can paddle this baby out and then sink a hook and call it good."

"Paddling a sports boat with oars. Yepp, you're a redneck."

"How does that make me a redneck?" I asked handing him one.

"I don't know, it just does." He said and took it.

"Do you know how to paddle?"

"Yes." He said. "Do you know to swim? Because I'm going to throw you over."

"Hey, come on now. I thought we were cool."

He laughed. "We are, we are. You just don't make sense sometimes."

We paddled all the way across the river to the cove that was near my boat landing, that way I wouldn't get lost in the dark. If you didn't have a fire going or you weren't paying much attention you could go right by it because it was so hidden.

Once we reached a good enough spot that we were both satisfied with I let the anchor down and we made ourselves comfortable.

"I gotta hand it to you, this is pretty cool." He said looking upward.

"I used to do it as a kid. My dad would take us out and all I could do was look up."

"Aliens?" He asked.

"No, not aliens. Back then I wasn't really worried about them.
Although my cousin when we were younger did tell me she was visited by an alien who healed her. Which, was weird I thought because she was little but she probably had seen E.T. or something. I never thought about that. I don't think aliens are real anyways, but the thought of them...."

He laughed. "I think aliens are real."

"You do?" I turned my head so I could look at him.

"Of course I do. Not like the movies say they are cuz let's face it. Hollywood has a bad way of making something look a lot different than what it really is..."

I mumbled an agreement.

"But to think that we're the ONLY things out there....that God would be like 'Nope, I'm only making these suckers even though I have all this space'.... no... Hell no. We're not the only ones out there. Or here. Say we perfect going to space and landing on another planet.... one that we don't understand, and there are things there that are..like animals. Not aware ... just there.. We would be smart enough to hide from them, right? Just observe."

"Well, we would hope. But knowing us we'd fuck with shit and then fuck it all up for everyone else..but yeah I see where you're going."

"Well, imagine that aliens smarter than us are out there and they've come here. They're just looking because they're better than us and they don't wanna fuck shit up. So they're hiding. Just lookin' and observing."

I laughed. "When you put it that way..."

"I'm always right."

"I dunno about THAT, but you normally are..."

We were silent for a few minutes and then I felt Jimmy scoot closer. I missed being so close to him, even if it was only for a few days.

"Jimmy...can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"If we weren't best friends would I be someone you'd be interested in?"

He was quiet for a second then, "Why only if we weren't best friends?"

"I don't know. Unspoken rules I guess."

"Ah, well, yeah. Of course. You're worth a lot more than those other fools think you are."

"I'm glad you think so." I said.

"Would you date me if we weren't friends?"

"Yeah." I said.

"You don't sound too convincing. Jerk."

"Nerd. I would date you. I'd date you now, if there weren't rules."
He grunted.

We fell silent again and just looked up at the sky, the stars blinking in their lazy fashion. I wondered what it would be like to go in to space and not have to live on Earth, I was always fascinated by things like that. I wanted to go to another planet and just stay.
One with only people who could respect life and not try to destroy it.

Jimmy found my hand with his and he held on to it, giving a squeeze every now and then.

If I could have traded all the dirt in the world, and dirt being the bullshit of every day life, just to spend one week alone in total happiness with my best friend I would have.

"Wanna hear something strange?" He asked.

"Sure."

"When I thought you and Charlie were together, I was more so mad that you'd pick him over me."

I laughed. "I'd never pick Charlie over you. Or anyone else in the group for that matter. You'd be my first pick."

He sighed contently and then laid his head on my shoulder. "Good. Because if you were gonna give anyone a chance it should be me."

"I would. Don't worry. Out of the four of you, you'd be first. Every time."

"No...."

"No what?"

"Not just out of them four... I meant out of everyone."

I felt my heart skip a few beats and then cleared my throat.
"Well... I would....It's just..."

"I'm not asking you to do it. I'm just saying." he said quickly.

"I know...and I want you to know that if things were the right way for us... I would."

"Good enough for me." He said and then pulled me to him getting comfortable for the rest of our night.