Not Now

I woke up feeling as if I did something wrong, I opened my eyes not knowing why Mark wasn't with me and why I'm back at my house. I scratched my head, swinging my legs over the bed and getting up. The atmosphere is filled with tension. My stomach clenched painfully.

I had to find out and I think the answer is downstairs. I sighed and opened the door, going down and peeking around the kitchen. There sat my caretaker and two policemen, they were talking about someone raping me. I widened my eyes, Mark!

I don't think I ran so fast in my life than I did now as I entered Travis neighborhood. I started banging on his door once I arrived, my heart seemingly beating like it wanted to escape.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is all my fault.

Tears started falling once Mark opened the door, he gathered me in his arms asking me what's wrong. I don't know if I can tell him, he'll be so pissed. I pretty much ruined his life.

"Tom?" Mark pulled me away, his eyebrows furrowing, I quickly adverted my eyes to the floor, I couldn't look into his eyes, not after what I have done.

"Come on, let's go inside it's freezing as balls out here."

I didn't realize how cold I was as I stepped inside Travis's house, I shivered and looked around the front room where bodies lay scattered some with vomit beside them and bottles were strewn every where. This was going to be a bitch to clean out.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Marks clear blue eyes stared into my less appealing ones. I sighed, I had no choice.. I had to get us out of here.

I didn't want to go back out there but I didn't want to wait until the fucking police got here. I grabbed Marks wrist and pulled him back outside, I fished around for his keys finally finding them in his back pocket. I walked to his car and unlocked it, I pushed Mark inside the drivers side and shut the door while I climbed into the passengers seat.

"Mind telling me why we're in my car?" I could hear frustration in his voice.

"Put this" I dropped the key in his lap, "In the ingestion and fucking drive. Drive as fast as you can.. until we're out of Poway." I'm surprised at how steady my voice is, I didn't think I could form coherent sentences when my brain is one big mess.

Mark just stared at the key as if it were about to grow wings and fly away, "Go!" I screamed, I looked out the window, the street is clear, we still had time.

"I'm not going anywhere, Tom." He said it so seriously.

I think I heard the distant ring of sirens. It couldn't be... Fuck! Why is Mark being difficult?!

"Do you hear that, Mark? That is coming after you." I prodded him in the chest hard with my pointer finger. I don't think I meant to say it that way but he just wasn't listening to me.

Marks mouth fell open, and then he started laughing, "Is that weed still in your system?"

I looked at him in shock, "No, its not, I'm being fucking serious. I just came from my house, the police were talking to my caretaker, I told her last night you raped me. I'm so fucking sorry, Mark. I was high a-a-a and I didn't know what I was doing. Sorry." I whispered the last part, my throat started to hurt and then came the tears like buckets.

Mark pulled me into his arms which surprised me and I just sobbed on his chest because nothing ever goes right in my life. I clinged to him like my life depended on it, as if he'd let go he'd disappear forever.

Mark is the best thing that's ever happened to me, it's like fate, he found me, and we just fit like two puzzle pieces that were finally found. I'd be damned if I let my mistake ruin our relationship.

I sniffled and pulled back slightly, "We gotta go, Mark. I'm not going to let go, I feel like you saved me and I want this to last as long as possible."

He smiled and gently pushed me back, before he did that though he pressed his lips on my forehead. "Its just you and I forever, baby." Mark put the key in the ignition, leaving behind our old life.