In My Eyes, You're Beautiful

“Alex, watch out!” I turn my head just in time to see Jack flinging himself off of Rian’s bunk and landing on the floor in a heap by my feet. “Ha, Rian! See? I’m not a fucking chicken!” Rian, who’s sitting on the floor with his back against a bedpost, nods without looking up, his eyes focused on his phone.
“Yeah Jack, awesome.” Jack is blissfully oblivious to the fact that Rian isn’t giving a shit about him at the moment, and jumps up and onto my back.
“Alex, you okay?” I nod and push him off of me with a smile, but the truth is that I really need a fucking cigarette. Some people think it’s weird that I smoke, that the kid with all the burns should be terrified of any type of fire. But the truth is that I’d been smoking before the “accident” and I had no intention to stop after it happened. I go to sit on my bunk, and Jack sits next to me after grabbing something out of his suitcase and shoving it into his pocket.
“Hey, Lex, you want one?” Jack has a pack of cigarettes in one hand and a lighter in the other, and he’s holding them out towards me with a smile. I glance at Rian, who is still absorbed in his phone and isn’t paying us any attention.
“Jack listen,” I whisper, putting my hands on top of his and lowering them so that Rian won’t be able to see. “Rian, he, he doesn’t-”
“Oh! Rian wants one too?” I groan and shake my head. “Rian! You want a cigarette?” Jack holds the pack out to him. Rian doesn’t look up from his phone, but I can see the way his body tenses and his hands start to shake. I was right. He is sensitive to this kind of stuff.
“Jack, put them away.” I mutter, going over to sit next to Rian and wrapping an arm loosely around his shoulders. The screen of Rian’s phone is dark, but he still looks down at it, not even reacting when I touch him.
“Jack,” I say, sharper this time and with an edge in my voice that I only reserve for special occasions, like when my mom mistakes my new guitar strings for my old ones and throws them away or when someone is threatening the mental health of one of my friends. Jack, looking bewildered, shoves them back into his suitcase just as counselor Judy walks into the cabin with one of those huge fake smiles on her face.
“Hi boys! Dinner’s in five minutes! Come on down when you’re ready!” Judy senses the tense atmosphere and pauses for a minute, her eyes scanning all of us and finally landing on Rian’s face. His teeth are clenched tightly and his eyes are wide, the tiniest bit of fear present in his features.
“Rian, you okay?” Judy comes over to him and kneels down. “Do you need to come with me and calm down for a minute?” I’m confused by the way she’s talking to him like he’s five, but then I realize that this is burn camp. All of the campers here have to be mentally unstable to some degree. Judy probably deals with things like this all the time.
He shakes his head the slightest bit. “No. I’m okay.” Judy doesn’t look convinced, but stands up anyway and dusts off her butt.
“Alright. But if any of you need to talk, or need to go somewhere safe and calm down for a bit, we have three wonderful counselors here with us, who will help you guys with whatever you need, okay?” Jack and I both nod, knowing that there’s no way in hell that either of us would go see a fucking counselor. I get enough of that at home.
Judy is halfway out the door when she turns around and nods towards the only empty bed left. “Your other cabin mate is checking in right now. He’ll be down in a few minutes.” Judy pauses for a minute, as if trying to decide if she should say something to us or not. She decides against it, only saying a short “Be nice to him” before walking out of the cabin and closing the door behind her.
Jack walks over and sits on Rian’s other side. “Hey, I’m not sure what I did, but I’m sorry.” Rian just nods.
“It’s okay. Just, please don’t smoke in here.” Rian rubs the burn on his arm. “Please.” Jack gets it immediately, and his eyes widen as he flings his arms around Rian.
“Oh shit dude. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t, okay? I promise.”
Rian looks up at the rafters of the cabin. “All this wood in here. It would burn in the blink of an eye.” We’re all silent for a moment as Rian pulls himself together. When he stands up and punches Jack in the arm, I know he’s going to be all right.
“Well, not even a day into camp and I’ve already had my problems revealed to the world. At the rate I’m going, you’ll know all my deepest darkest secrets by the time we leave.” I laugh and grab a plaid shirt out of my suitcase to throw over my tank top.
“Dude, by the end of this camp, all of us will have our problems revealed to the world. It’s fine. I’ve plenty to show to you guys too.”
Jack nods almost thoughtfully. “Me too.” The thought of Jack having issues makes me smile for some weird reason.
“So, should we go to dinner now or wait for the other kid?” Rian asks as he pulls on a North Face windbreaker. “I mean, I’m hungry, but it would suck for the kid if he got here and none of us were-”
“H-hi” We all turn around and are met with a skinny little kid with black hair and green eyes. (A/N, Zack had black hair in high school). I try as hard as I can not to stare at the burns that cover the right side of his face, his arms, his neck. Everywhere.
“I’m Z-Zack.” He drops his duffel bag, then just stares down at the floor, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. “
Rian goes first. “Hi Zack, I’m Rian.” When he holds his hand out for Zack to shake, he flinches, and red creeps onto his cheeks.
“S-sorry.” He still doesn’t look up as Jack goes and introduces himself. When it’s my turn to say hi, I go straight up to him and bend down, so that my face is right under his so that he has to look at me.
“Hi. I’m Alex.” His eyes are wide as he looks at my burns. It gives me permission to look at his. The ones on his face aren’t as bad as the ones that cover his arms. I can tell that he can’t use his left hand anymore by the way that it doesn’t move. The burn was so bad that it ruined the muscle. I have a feeling that there are more under his shirt and on his legs.
Most people would take one look at this kid and wince, flinch, run away. I don’t. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with him. He looks like me, and for that, I am so grateful.
When I stand back up, Zack’s eyes follow me. He gives Rian and Jack half a smile. “Hi.”
“Hey dude. Now come on. It’s dinnertime. I want food!” Jack grabs Zack’s duffel bag and throws it onto the empty bed, then very gently takes Zack’s right hand-he can see just as well as I can that the left one is no use-and pulls him out of the cabin and towards the mess hall. Rian and I follow.
“Damn, and I thought that I had it bad.” Rian nods.
“Tell me about it.”