The Moment I Knew

Sarah couldn't believe it when she looked up into the face of Finn.
"Does-Does this happen a lot?" asked Finn as he looked down to see their legs pinned together by the leash which Timber had successfully wound around them.
"Uh, no. Not really. Only when my dog decides to be a complete psycho." she told him while shooting Timber a glare as he looked up, panting with pride. "I'm really sorry." she said as she sighed. "This is how it happens in the movies right?" she laughed, as did Finn.
"Yeah, I hear it happens a bit like this." he nodded in agreement while gesturing to themselves. "Only I think in the movies they make it a little easier to get out of." he looked back down the the web of intercrossing lines which were the leash.
"Oh shit, you don't say." Sarah said, looking down with him. "This should be fun," she looked up with a sarcastic smile as Finn chuckled.
Sarah's pocket then began vibrating over and over.
"Is that someone important?" asked Finn as Sarah blushed.
"My mom, she's checking to see if we can still Skype today." she explained while trying to get to her pocket, which was hard since her and Finn were pressed so tightly together. "Sorry, I just-"
"No go ahead," said Finn as Sarah finally pulled her phone free.
"Hello mother," she answered. "Yes, I'm going to today. I know, don't worry. About nine." Sarah looked to Finn. "What am I doing?" she asked and fought from laughing as Finn cracked up. "Uh, nothing-nothing really." she answered as Finn bit on his knuckle to stop himself. "I'll be fine mom, don't worry. Yes, yes. Okay, see you then. Bye," she hung up and the two of therm started laughing.
"Wow, so this is nothing?" asked Finn as Sarah laughed.
"Well what was I supposed to say?" she asked him as she put her hand up to her ear in the shape of a phone. "Yeah, I'm standing in the middle of my campus, wrapped up in a dog leash with this guy I've only just met because Timber chose to go crazy." she pretended before laughing. "Because that would really go over well," she nodded with a roll of her eyes.
"Okay, okay," said Finn with his hands raised. "I see your point. But we still need to figure a way out of this." he said looking around them. "Maybe if we can shuffle over to that bench..." he suggested as Sarah followed his gaze.
"Right, that could be better." she agreed. "Okay, slowly now." she said as they began shuffling in time over to the bench with Timber following behind happily. "Of all the people he could've chose to wrap me up with..." Sarah mumbled as they reached the bench.
"Whoa! Is that an insult?" asked Finn as Sarah looked to him too quickly and threw off their balance. They began to wobble and the fell back onto the bench, Finn steadying them as Sarah fell onto his chest.
Man he smells good. She thought as she took a breath in.
"No, no, of course not." said Sarah as she sat up. "I just think it's a little funny," she began to unwind herself from Finn. "that of all the people it happened to be you. I think it's weird how we only met yesterday and once again are brought together," she looked to Timber. "In a very odd way." she narrowed her eyes.
Finn was taking his left foot out as he answered her. "Well I don't actually mind all that much." he said while pulling his right leg free and then working on his foot. "After all," he said cheekily. "It's not every day that I get tangled up with a pretty girl like you." he said which caused Sarah to look up briefly and then blush.
Finn couldn't help but notice as Sarah's fingers fumbled with the knots of the leash. "Well it's not every day Timber runs rampant through campus." she rolled her eyes while pulling her leg out. "Sorry again," she said while getting herself free of the madness.
"Don't be," said Finn as he stood up and offered her his hand. "I'm not." he winked and Sarah tried her hardest not to swoon.
Oh God he can wink so well.
"Well you have Timber to thank then." she said looking to her yellow lab, shar pei mix.
Finn knelled down next to the dog and pat his head. "Thank you Timber," he said as Timber leaned into Finn's touch and licked his arm.
Sarah smiled and laughed softly from behind him. "He likes you," she said. "Timber usually takes a while to warm up to people, but maybe you're an exception." she said as Finn stood up.
"Well I hope that's a good thing," said Finn as Sarah looked to him.
"Oh it is," she told him as she took the lead firmly in her hand.
They were quiet a moment before Finn spotted something behind her. "Could I buy you a coffee?" he asked as Sarah looked over her shoulder to the stand and looked back to Finn.
"Make it tea and we've got a deal," she smiled as he laughed and nodded.
"Sure," he agreed as they walked over. "So you still Skype your family?" he asked while getting a place in line.
"Yep." said Sarah as she pet Timber's head. "My mom made me promise to Skype weekly so she knows I'm doing okay. It was part of the deal of letting me come to London. That and that I visit my aunt and uncle every few weeks to check in with them since they're getting older." she explained. "But I don't mind. It's good seeing them. Their kids have all moved out so I honestly think they get a little lonely," she frowned and Finn could tell that she was genuinely unhappy about that. "So going up to see them every now and again isn't too hard to do." she finished.
"Well I bet they appreciate it," said Finn. "My mom makes me call her weekly, well actually she calls me-unannounced. So that's always fun." he rolled his eyes. "She hates that Jack and I are separated cause she's so used to us taking care of one another." he explained as they moved up in the line.
"That makes sense," nodded Sarah.
"Yeah, she's the usual overly protective, and smothering mother." he chuckled. "But I guess I would rather have that than someone who didn't care at all." he said with a shrug.
"That's true," she said. "A friend of mine had a mom like that," she said just as they reached the front.
They ordered and got their drinks before taking a seat at the same bench as before. Sarah made Timber sit, and like a good dog he listened.
So now you do what I ask. She rolled her eyes inwardly. Typical.
"You were saying?" asked Finn. "Before we got cut off by the cashier," he reminded as Sarah nodded.
"Oh right, yeah. A friend of mine back in Victoria had a mom that treated her and her younger brother horribly. The thing was though, was that her mom had no control over it because she was bi-polar." she sighed. "So there's was one mom who cared for her kids and loved them so much and would do anything for them," Sarah explained, gesturing with her hand to the left. "But then there was this other mom who hated them. Wouldn't lift a finger and thought they were the children of Satan himself." she gestured to the right. "And it was so hard because she would switch between the two all the time, so Tally never knew what to expect when she got home." Sarah told Finn with a frown.
"That would be so hard," said Finn with a shocked look as he took a sip of his coffee. "I can't even imagine how that would feel. I wouldn't cope if my mom was like that." he shook his head.
"Well Tally felt the same way," nodded Sarah. "Totally overwhelmed and afraid. It was even worse because her mom didn't believe she was bi-polar so she wouldn't get checked out or take meds or anything." Sarah shook her heads and some curls fell over her shoulders, sending the smell of her hair up into Finn's face.
Wow. he thought.
"Tally ended up being removed, as well as her brother and they were put into a different home. It was hard, but best for the both of them in the end. Especially since they wound up with a much better family." she said with a smile. "So I guess in the end it all worked out," she said with a hopeful tone.
"Yeah, that's crazy. I'm glad it was okay in the end though." he said with a smile. "I had a friend when I was younger-James. And he got taken out of his house too. His mom died when he was young and his dad was a drunk. Things turned really bad for him one night and his dad beat him so badly that he ended up having to get seventeen stitches in his face and was in the hospital for six weeks."
Sarah's mouth fell open in shock and also cringed in sadness. "Oh my gosh, really?" she asked. "That's awful." she shook her head while taking another sip. "I can't even...Holy." she said at a loss for words.
"Yeah, the whole school was in on it too...Which I'm not sure made it better or worse." Finn thought for a moment. "Having everyone knowing about you and your life in such a personal way...Especially something like that. I don't think I'd like it." he shook his head as Sarah sighed.
"The world is a lot more messed up than some people think." she said, sitting back on the bench. "The happiest people are sometimes the ones that have the most to be upset about. And the saddest have no reasons at all in comparison..." she said with a monotone expression. "Funny how that works, eh?" she asked him, looking over as Finn chuckled. "What?" asked Sarah, not being able to keep herself from smiling.
Finn had such a good smile. It was infectious too.
"You're so Canadian eh?" he asked as Sarah shoved his shoulder.
"Shut up, it's habit okay?" she said defensively. "You can take the girl out of Canada but you can't take the Canada out of the girl." she shrugged simply as Finn smirked.
"Clearly not," he said. "Otherwise I wouldn't be able to tease you about that kind of stuff." he chuckled.
"Hey, well you don't see me going and making fun of you and your language!" Sarah exclaimed as Finn laughed.
"Go ahead. After the Olympics came through here I think I've heard it all." he said with ease as Sarah narrowed her eyes.
"That's not fair." she said.
"Life's not fair," he replied as Sarah laughed.
"I hate that one," she shook her head. "'Haha life's not fair' Shut up!" she said with emotion which caused them both to laugh. "Anyway," she sighed. "Do you have class this morning?" she asked him as Finn nodded.
"Yeah, starts in about fifteen minutes." he told her and Sarah's eyebrows shot up.
"Oh really? Well if you need to-I mean some of my classes are on the other side of campus so if you have to leave right now because yours are somewhere really far off, that's not a problem-" she began rambling, gathering her things.
Finn laughed and put a hand on her arm. "Sarah it's okay. It's actually right in that building," his eyes went to a large castle-like structure across from them.
"Oh." said Sarah as Finn removed his hand.
"Are you really that anxious to get rid of me?" asked Finn with a glint of humour in his eyes as he took another swig of coffee.
Sarah looked embarrassed as she smoothed out her jeans. "What? No, no, of course not." she said, shaking her head so more hair fell over her shoulders, causing Finn to smell more of the heavenly scent. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to hang out with me or anything because my dog decided to-Well I don't even know what to call it." she laughed with another look to Timber who was laying down by Sarah's feet, perfectly content.
Finn chuckled. "Yeah, that was...That's definitely never happened to me before." he said with a smile.
"Yeah," said Sarah with a shake of her head before looking back to Finn again. "I apologize once more on Timber's behalf."
Finn reached down and pet Timber who looked up at him and sort of seemed to smile. If you want to call his mouth hanging open with his tongue lolling out smiling, then that was surely a smile. "No worries, it gave me an excuse to see you again." said Finn without looking back at Sarah.
Sarah felt almost a little relieved he didn't because then he would've seen the blush on her cheeks. "Speaking of which, we never talked about what's going to happen." she said as Finn leaned back up and took a sip from his coffee cup. "I guess I'm trying to see when you're free next." she said as Finn nodded.
"Right, well....What day works for you?" he asked as Sarah sighed and thought.
"Well let's see...Today is Thursday...I work tomorrow night, and Saturday afternoon..I guess either Saturday night or Sunday." she said as Finn nodded.
"I can't do Saturday at all-Studying all day." he and Sarah frowned at each other. "But Sunday I could do." he said with a firm nod.
"Great," Sarah broke into a smile and Finn felt himself smile back right away-he couldn't help himself. He almost hated in a way how much control Sarah had over him and they'd only just met. "Sunday it is then. According to my clock you only have about four and a half minutes until your next class." she said, looking to her phone and Finn stood up hurriedly.
"Really? Oh shit, I've got Crompton." he said as Sarah winced.
"Heard she's a real hard ass," said Sarah with a laugh as she stood up as well, passing Finn some books.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you some of the stuff she's done." said Finn with a disbelieving look and wide eyes.
Sarah laughed and shrugged. "Well I guess you'll just have to see if I believe you on Sunday." she said as Finn looked back to her and grinned.
"It's a date then," he winked as Sarah laughed softly and nodded. "See you later," he said as Timber barked at him. "See you later too, Timber."
Sarah laughed as she pet his head. "Bye," Sarah called after him and he shot her another look over his shoulder which made Sarah's stomach seem to leap into her chest.

As soon as Finn had entered the lecture building, Sarah turned to Timber and knelled down to his level. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said hugging him as Timber nuzzled her neck with his wet nose, causing Sarah to giggle. "I have never been so happy that you went crazy! Did you see what just happened boy?" she exclaimed excitedly. "I'm going on a date with him!" she squealed before looking around at people passing by. Oh God I probably look like some insane lunatic. She thought to herself as she straightened up and took Timber's lead into her hand. Sarah was so happy though, she didn't even really care how crazy she looked. She got a date. She was going on a date with Finn, who had already proven himself to be nice, charming, funny and just plain good to talk to. I didn't even think anyone like him existed in this world. Not after Wes, at least. She frowned slightly to herself as she turned back onto the busy street next to Leeds.
Sarah let herself back into her flat and unclipped Timber's leash, hanging it on the hook by the door. She suddenly got an idea. One that she wasn't sure was cute or creepy. Or possibly a bit of both. "Timber!" she called him back over to the door. She hooked his leash back onto him and got him to sit back down again. Sarah tossed the leash around to the other side of him so that you could see the loop of the lead. "Stay," she said firmly before racing back to her room. She got out her coveted Nikon Instant Flash 600 Polaroid camera and took a quick photo of Timber. Within a minute the camera spat out the picture and she waited for the colours to develop. When it had finished, she flipped it over and wrote down the date.
May 1, 2012
Sarah knew what she also wanted to put on the back, but would wait until later. She didn't want to be creepy by putting what she wanted on the back, so she would wait a little bit to see if this thing with Finn would last. Sarah had a feeling though, one down in her gut that was telling her that if she would just be herself, then this would last. Sarah had never had that kind of feeling about any other guy before. But with Finn, Sarah knew things were different-in the best way possible.

Finn couldn't help himself, he had to let his mind wander just a little bit during his design lecture. If he didn't let it wander, he was sure he'd have to get up and out of the class. Sarah was something else to Finn entirely. Finn had had his share of girls. He wasn't constantly in a relationship but he would like to say he had experience at the least. In the last three years he had dated probably three girls. Jessica: She didn't last long. She ended up being too boring for him. She didn't have any sense of adventure or real goals in life. Then there was Emma who looked promising, but then like Jack said, ended up being a bitch on the inside. Finn's last relationship though had actually been pretty good, aside from the fact he and Hannah couldn't stop fighting. When they were good it was great, but when it was bad it was horrible. Finn stuck with it because he wanted to try and make it work, but found in the end, it just wasn't worth all the hassle.
But Sarah seemed so great and so many levels. She seemed pretty adventurous, funny, very nice, sweet, and obviously probably the most beautiful girl he'd even seen. She knew how to keep a conversation going and actually wanted to make something of herself.
As Finn left the lecture hall, his buddy Matt came up beside him. "Hey mate, how's about we go out this Sunday? I heard Ingrid's throwing some crazy party!" he exclaimed excitedly.
Finn smiled briefly at his friend. Matt was just an endless stream of good energy-he admired Matt for that. "Sorry mate, I've already got plans. Besides, what party that's thrown on a Sunday really worth going to?" asked Finn with a laugh.
Matt snickered. "One thrown by Ingrid Peters," said Matt. "Oh come on mate, you're not gonna let this pass by, are you? Everyone knows Ingrid's had it in for you since you stepped foot on campus!" he said with a shocked look at his friend.
"Well," said Finn with a shrug. "I think I've got something a little better than Ingrid Peters."
Matt's mouth fell open. "No way." he said. "Finn, are you really trying to tell me you've found a girl who tops Ingrid Peters?" He asked slowly with a look that told you just how insane Finn really sounded to him.
Finn chuckled as they stopped in the walkway. "Maybe," said Finn. "I'm not too sure yet, but I've got a good feeling about her." he said. "And looks wise, she definitely tops Ingrid Peters." Finn rolled his eyes at the absurdity of it.
Matt shook his head. "That's impossible." he said. "I need to meet this girl! Who is she?" asked Matt.
"Her name, is Sarah Freeman. She's studying to be a vet-she doesn't live on campus so I don't know that you'd recognize her." said Finn as Matt put a hand on his chin, in deep thought.
"Nope," he said finally. "The name doesn't ring a bell. But tell you what Finny ole boy," Matt put a hand on Finn's shoulder as they began walking. "I want to meet this new bird of yours. Because if she's better than Ingrid's party, then she has got to be something else." Matt laughed, as did Finn.
"Believe me mate," said Finn. "She is." he confirmed without a hint of doubt in his voice.

Finn arrived back in his room and tossed his books to the floor. As far as he was concerned, he was done with school and work. Besides, all he could think about was Sarah. The smell of her hair as it fell over her shoulders, the way she bit her lip every time she was complimented, and especially how she managed to somehow have a personality more beautiful than her looks-which was saying something. Sarah was the first girl Finn had met who actually had some character. She had an opinion on things, and wasn't afraid to show it. She loved talking, and Finn loved that she loved it. Because for once in the relationship, he wasn't the one coaxing the other into conversation. Finn was so used to sending out awkward hints that he wanted to have a conversation, and now he didn't have to do that in the slightest with Sarah. He could say one thing and off she went. But she also listened. That was another thing Finn liked. Jessica and Emma couldn't care less what Finn had to say. He was the one always doing the listening. Then when it finally became Finn's turn to talk, it was like he pressed a button on the girl's that put them on 'ignore'. It was the single most annoying and frustrating thing Finn had ever dealt with.
Sighing, Finn laid back on his bed and shut his eyes. The sound of Sarah's surprised calls rang through his head, and then the feeling of her body pressed against his as Timber wrapped them up together...It had all felt so right. As startling and out of the blue as it was, Finn felt like the whole thing was almost meant to be. When Sarah had looked up into Finn's eyes, embarrassed, wild and happy all at the same time-it made Finn feel the exact same way. Her eyes, they were so fascinating to look at. If there was a single thing he would want to look at all day it would be Sarah's eyes. Finn remembered the feeling of Sarah's hair brushing his skin when she had run into him. He had been right in the coffee shop; it was soft. And smelled so damn good.
Finn whipped out his phone and found Sarah's number.

How's Timber? Is he wrapping you up with anyone else? ;)

Finn looked at his message for a few minutes, contemplating whether or not to send it, but finally forced himself to. He waited anxiously for a reply, and began looking over his notes to pass the time. Sarah responded about eight minutes later.

I'm guessing this is Finn? :) Haha! Nope, thankfully not! He's calmed down and is now continuously head butting me because he wants to go out on another walk. I think he wants to run into you again! ;)

Well I wouldn't mind! I like Timber! :)

I think Timber likes you too! :) Haha

Finn wondered briefly if they were really talking about Timber at that point. It seemed like they were both indirectly flirting with each other, and were just using Timber as a way of making it less obvious. Finn smirked at this, it was so funny.

I'm glad he does! You never know with dogs, they can be so picky sometimes! I hope I live up to his expectations ;)

Oh I think you're fine ;) There isn't a whole lot to be picky about!

Hah, what are you up to?

Finishing some lab paperwork while also feeling slightly suicidal because of it. But other than that I'm doing fine.

Finn smiled as her read it. He loved her sense of humour.

Gotta love Uni, right?

Of course! If I had known I was signing up for my brain to explode, I would've just stayed in Canada. ;)

Well I wouldn't have liked that :( Never would've met you!

Haha I'm touched! ;) But really, I feel like throwing myself out a window right now. :(

Finn laughed out loud at this. He could just see her, looking at her window as she sat at her table, probably in some lazy outfit but still looking great.

I'll make sure to catch you! :)

Please don't. Then I'll have to come back and deal with this shit load of work.. :(

Well it's better than finding out you've died because some stupid prof assigned you a lot of work :/

Well said.

I know.

Now let's not get too carried away here. Self flattery is not a good trait Finn.

And you would know lots about that, wouldn't you?

And what is THAT supposed to mean? ;) Finn Harries are you saying I flatter myself?

I don't know...Am I?

I know you're an idiot right now for not telling me.

Finn laughed again as he shook his head.

First I'm flattering myself too much and now I'm an idiot. I can't win with you, can I?

Nope! :) You should get used to losing. I've VERY competitive.

Are you? Well now that's great, because guess what? SO AM I!

I'll still beat your ass.

Is that a threat?

Yes.

I'm scared.

You should be.

Quivering.

Good.

You seem so nice and now you're all....Cruel.

Oh is this too much for little Finn to handle? ;)

The rumours ARE right! Canadians are brutal!

Haha! HEY! We aren't brutal....Just a little rough around the edges is all... :P

Yeah sure, 'a little rough around the edges'

Well it's better than being a softie.

I think you're a softie deep down.

Nope. Cold, hard, stone, nothingness. That's all that's inside me....

Should I be reconsidering our date on Sunday..? :O

No!

Finn laughed again as that reply came right away. So far this banter they had was fun. He liked it. For
once a girl was challenging him. That had never happened before.

Otherwise I'll have to sit at home with my cat and watch Criminal Minds. :(

You have a cat too?

Yup! :) Clive. He's super fat and complete attention hog...He steps on me in the morning to wake me up, but I still love him :)

Sounds like a sweetheart.

He is :) I got him from the SPCA. He was so abused by this family... :(

That's awful :(

Yeah...I kinda nursed him back to health. No one else wanted him because he looked so ugly in his cage. But I picked him, and took care of him and now all his fur is back and healthy and he's the cutest thing ever. LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW BITCHES! XD

Finn laughed again as he read the last bit of the sentence. She was such a flamboyant person at times. Finn liked how she could be shy in a very inviting in a cute way, and wasn't overly loud excitable so much so it scared Finn and turned him off. She was a mixture of the both. A good one at that.

I'm actually laughing. You're very expressive in texts ;)

Well I try, I try.

I can see that.

Good.

They were both silent for a minute, no one sending another text. Finn was suddenly scared that maybe he was getting annoying. Sarah was probably texting him just because she felt she had to. And now because they had been droning on so long, she had gotten bored. Not wanting to spoil their date on Sunday, Finn chose to wrap things up.

I guess I should get back so studying :( I'll talk to you later I guess!

Sounds good to me :) Have fun stuffing your brain ;)

Oh I will... D:

Finn put down his phone and looked back to his books. As much as Sarah was getting to him, he knew that if he were to drop out, he wanted to drop out with good marks. And that meant doing well on the exams. And doing well on the exams included Finn actually studying. With a sigh and another longing look to his phone, Finn finally picked up his notes from the floor and began the same repetitive review.

Sarah stood from her couch, looking to her phone one last time. She didn't know why Finn had suddenly shut things down. Was she getting annoying? Talking too much?
Probably. She thought to herself, rolling her eyes as she began to make herself dinner. And by dinner Sarah meant warming up leftovers and sitting on her couch to watch TLC. Sarah couldn't get the thought of her being too much for him too soon out of her head. She should've known better than to start getting all crazy like that. What was she thinking? She's now probably ruined things for Sunday now if Finn feels that uncomfortable.
Sarah sighed as she crossed her legs on her couch, her bowl of spaghetti in her lap. Clive came over and laid down next to her, snuggled into her ribs. Sarah smiled down at him.
Worst comes to worst, I'll always have my animals. Sarah laughed softly to herself before stopping short. Oh man I REALLY need that date on Sunday to go well. I can't afford to have animals as my only form of love in my life.

Sarah returned to her routine of school and working. Her and Finn would chat throughout the day, sometimes in person if they ran into each other but mostly through texting. Sarah could feel herself getting more and more attached to the idea of being around Finn all the time. He was just so...Enjoyable to be around. They hadn't even kissed. Not even hugged. Their only contact really came when they would touch hands by mistake, and they'd both be a bit embarrassed and look away. But the sparks were there. Everywhere. Sarah felt them in the pit of her stomach when her phone went off, and when she saw Finn leaving a class or standing nearby. They were ever so present in the two days leading up to their date-and Sarah was excited.

So what are we doing tomorrow?
Asked Sarah as she hit the send button. Her phone whistled at her shortly after with Finn's reply.

I haven't a clue! ;) Did you have anything in mind?

Actually no...

Well I guess we'll just have to see where the day takes us! :) When should I pick you up?

I want to get an early start so we're not rushed...How does ten sound?

Perfect to me! I'll see you then :)

Awesome! By the way, don't mind Gladys-she lives just beside me. She might be muttering or something...She also has a thing for younger guys...Just go with it and be nice to her :) She's really harmless...Just a little off, if you know what I mean ;)

Oh! Aha that's alright! Sure, I'll be nice to Gladys! ;)

Thank you, her and I both appreciate it...And our landlord as well ;)

No problem! As long as I get to spend the day with you I'm good :)

Well I guess you're good then, aren't you? :)

Just swell.

That's great :)

It is ;)

Their texting fell short after that, and Sarah looked at the clock, seeing it was nearly eleven. She had to get to bed if she wanted to be energized for tomorrow. So, plugging her phone in and setting her alarm, Sarah tucked herself in. Thoughts of Finn and the day ahead swirled in Sarah's head, creating a distorted, but beautiful vision of tomorrow. She wanted things to work with him, she really wanted things to work with him. Like never before, she was dead set on being able to make whatever she and Finn had, last. Sarah didn't understand herself really. There she was, just going along in life and then Finn turns up and flips everything round backwards. Now she's having desires and feelings that she doesn't know how to explain, and has never felt before. She wondered briefly if this was all normal-because as far as Sarah was concerned, none of these feelings she had towards Finn, felt 'normal' to her.