The Tree

“Shay?” The woman turned to see a man giving her a worried look as he stepped into the living room that she had been standing in. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she spoke, uncrossing her arms from her chest and walking away from where she had been staring out the window. She went back to taking pictures down from the walls and shelves they had been littering and placing them gently in the box on the coffee table. The man walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She paused, placing her hands on the edge of the box. “Seriously, Zack, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” Zack argued, resting his chin in the crook her neck. “We’ve know each other how long and you still think you can lie to me?”

“Long enough for me to hope I could trick you,” Shay replied with a light shrug. Zack held her closer and kissed her cheek, making the tension in her shoulders lessen a little. She turned around, burying her face into his chest. Zack simply began to pet her bob cut hair and hum softly as they rocked side to side. After a few minutes, Shay slowly pushed herself away from Zack and silently turned back to taking down pictures.

“Babe, why don’t you go get some air or something? I can finish up in here, okay?”

Shay paused again, peering at the pictures still taking up a majority of the living room. She nodded her head before smoothing out her jeans and tank. She gave him a quick peck before walking out the backdoor. She peered curiously up at the large tree on the hill and began her hike. Soon enough she was leaning against the tree that had practically housed her for so many years. It had been four since she had personally visited it and she missed it. Shay leaned her head back with a soft smile, enjoy the spots of sunlight dancing across her closed eyelids.

A presence to her left caused Shay to open her eyes and contemplate what to do. Finally her polite side made way and she looked over at the person next to her. The person had black hair that reached their shoulders but was covered mostly by a bandana and fedora. They were dressed in black jeans, black boots, a grey v-neck, and a black leather jacket. She almost didn’t recognise the person until she saw the high cheekbones and familiar brown eyes. Shay gave a soft smile, nodding her head. “Brian.”

“What, no hug?” Brian joked, holding his arms out on either side of his body. Shay hesitated but soon was enveloped in her old friend’s arms. After a few moments, Brian pulled her away at arm’s length to give her a once over. “College was good for you, huh?”

“I guess so,” Shay replied with a soft shrug. She had hit a later growth spurt, bringing her height to five foot six though it still didn’t compare to Brian who had to be at least five foot ten. And yet he was still shorter than her friends Jimmy and Matt. Now those guys were damn giants. She peered curiously at his clothes and snorted. “So, you went with drug dealer, huh? What happened to male model?”

“You think a drug dealer can look this good?” Brian asked, an eyebrow quirked in response. “Nah. And the agency never called back. Guess you were too quick to assume model should be my job.”

“I think you just didn’t show enough skin,” Shay teased, plopping down at the base of the tree. Brian followed suit. He stretched one leg out while the other was bent at the knee so he could rest his left arm on it. He turned to Shay and grinned. “And when did Miss UCLA graduate?”

“Three weeks ago,” Shay replied. “You’re talking to Dr. Baker now.”

“Baker?” Brian asked curiously, his eyes narrowing and brows furrowing in confusion. That was when he noticed the glimmer on her left hand. He gingerly picked it up by her wrist and began to grin again. It was a simple band with a heart shaped diamond on top. “When did this happen?”

“Last year,” Shay chuckled, taking her hand back and spinning the ring around her finger. “It was more of an elope with our friend Matt as a witness. Jimmy wanted to come too, but we knew he would just make a mess. It’s kind of his thing.”

“What did they do anyways?” Brian asked. Seeing the look on her face, he hastily added, “Not to be rude, just curious.”

“Matt got an associate’s in business from some college nearby and owns a gym in Newport. Jimmy didn’t do any college and got lucky, investing in a pool hall/bar with his friend. He owns half of it and will get all of it once Jack sells out of his part to move to New York,” Shay replied. She was proud of her friends. In the end they all got their own ways and they’re happy. Even Zack’s brother Mattie and his friend Johnny, both of whom were close friends to ShayShay, decided to start a record store together. They’re doing pretty good for kids barely two years out of high school.

“Good for them,” Brian spoke with a nod.

“So how about you? What are you doing these days?”

“Me?” Shay raised her eyebrow as if to ask ‘who else’. “They needed a teacher for guitar lessons down at the community center so I decided to help out.”

“What happened to that being ‘just a hobby’?” Shay mocked. Brian shrugged helplessly.

“I’m good at it and I’ve come to terms with it,” Brian spoke with such a large amount of honesty that Shay couldn’t help but snort at him. He cracked a smile. “But in all honesty, it was a way to make money and I enjoy it. That’s all I wanted.”

“How’s your family now?” Shay asked.

“Dad’s practically a different man now. Suzy was good for him.” Shay nodded her head. “How about yours?”

“Y’know what?” Shay chuckled, standing to her feet. “I can’t do this anymore, I really can’t.”

“Shay, what are you - ”

“This needs to stop, right now,” Shay exclaimed, cutting him off as she whipped around to look at him. Brian was now standing, taking an unconscious step back from her shout. It was then that the bags under her eyes really stood out and Brian frowned in concern.

“Shay, what’s wrong?”

“You’re what’s wrong! You’re not real!” Shay shouted for all the world to hear. Brian blinked a few times, obviously stunned by her words. He opened his mouth a few times, but said nothing and closed it again. Shay’s breathing was deep and her glare was piercing.

“Shay, what are you talking about?” Brian finally chuckled, scratching at a spot near his temple with his index finger. “Of course I’m real.”

“No, you’re not. It’s taken me so many years of learning and research to know you’re not,” Shay argued, glaring at him.

“Shay, it’s me, Brian. I’m your friend. We grew up together.”

“Stay away from me,” Shay spoke as she took a few steps back from Brian approaching form. He paused, hurt flashing across his face.

“Shay, c’mon, be reasonable. You can see me, you can touch me. If I’m not real, wouldn’t you just, like, fall through me or something?” Brian asked with a chuckle.

“Don’t patronize me, Brian,” Shay snapped. She sighed, pushing a hand through her hair from her brow to the nape of her neck. “I refused to be patronize by something of my own creation. Of my own mind.”

“Shay, please. Just listen to me.” Shay shook her head.

“I researched it all. There is no Brian Haner Jr. in existence. There’s only a regular Brian Haner. He’s actually pretty famous as a comedian and musician. I knew I had heard the name before, it just took a little digging. And he did have a wife named Suzy and a son named Brent, but no Brian.”

Brian stayed silent, studying Shay as she explained. She paused and waited, expecting an objection. When none came, she continued. “Checking the schools was a bit harder. I had to call in some favors to a friend of mine. There was no one fitting your description that graduated from Saint Hopkins Academy in 1999, or any years near it. In fact, no one can recall a boy fitting your description anywhere. Not your jobs, any local places, your supposed ‘father’ nearly sent me to a mental hospital when I showed up on his doorstep two years ago.”

“If you thought all of this by then, why didn’t you say anything?” Brian finally asked, his voice calm and face passive.

“Because I wanted to believe I wasn’t crazy. I thought I was losing it and I couldn’t even tell my own husband, my own friends. They had thought it when I was younger so I just learned to not mention you and they thought I got over it, so they never brought it up again. I didn’t want to admit that I had finally lost it at only eight.” By this time Shay’s voice was cracking and she was barely holding in her tears. Brian tried to advance again but she shook her head. She took a deep breath before continuing.

“But over these last two years I began an internship. I started talking to kids who were that age, even older. I wasn’t alone. When they got the point that they had no one to rely on, they created their own imaginary friends, too. Monsters, cartoon characters, real people. One girl is sixteen and had her friend since she was four. She was neglected just like me and that friend is all she has in this world. So no, I don’t think I’m crazy anymore, the emotional abuse I suffered is common. But I can’t keep just living like there’s nothing wrong with you being here.”

Finally, Brian let out a smile. It was soft, but it was still a smile. Shay felt anger well up in her and she wanted to throw a fist, but she refrained. Brian leaned back against the trunk of the tree and nodded. “I always knew you were a smart girl. Hell, like you said, you created me. So, technically, you knew you were a smart girl. This was a mystery you were eventually going to discover. Told you, you should have just been Sherlock.”

“Why are you still here? Why didn’t you just disappear after all these years?”

Brian shrugged. “You weren’t ready. You were getting there, but then your parents died.” Shay felt a tremor of pain vibrate down her spine, but Brian took no notice. “You felt the need you had to give your final farewells since you couldn’t with them.”

“Stop it,” Shay whispered, the tears in her eyes barely holding back again. The dam was beginning to break. One lone tear made it’s way down her face. Brian smiled apologetically yet he continued his words.

“It was one thing to be use to all the uncaring and bitterness all your life. But yet you were still so hurt to find they died in that car accident, blamed yourself for not speaking to them for two years and not stopping at the house for four. The shock you had when you showed up at the house with Zack to see all those photos. It was like walking into an obsessed killers home. Hundreds of copies of you throughout the years just staring at you.”

“Why are you being so cold?!” Shay finally exclaimed. More tears were rushing down her face at a much quicker pace. “You’re supposed to be a friend and this is what I get?”

“You wanted this to end, Shay. You wanted to know why and I’m telling you. This is what you want,” Brian said. “There’s that little, uncontrollable conscious in your head that is making me tell you all this. No sugar coating, no kindness. You want me to be rude to make it so much easier for you to let go.”

“Shut up!” She screamed. Brian obeyed, his lips forming a hard line. She sank to her knees, running both her hands back through her hair. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes with the backs of her wrists. She took a deep breath before she turned to him again. When she did, he was sitting next to her. He kept a few inches of space from her, but he was leaning towards her. “You can tell me things that I really think then, right?”

“Yes.”

“How do I really feel about my parents dying?” Brian gave Shay a weird look. “I know I’m upset, but at this point I’m not sure if it’s because they’re my parents and I’m expected to be or if I really did love them. They treated me so terrible for so long, but then they turn out to secretly adore me? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Shay, you have always loved your parents. You can begrudge them for as long as you like. You have the right and no one would blame you. But you have always loved them and always will.”

“Then why - ” Brian simply placed a finger to her lips, effectively quieting her.

“I’m not a magic eight ball, Shay. I can’t tell you everything about your life in depth. I’m just a projection of your mind so you already have all the answers, you just have to think on them. Besides, what happened to wanting to rid yourself of me?” Brian chuckled though he made no attempt to move. Instead, Shay scooted closer to him.

“I don’t want you to leave just yet. It’s stupid since you’re not real, but you were my friend for so many years.” Brian closed off the rest of the space between them, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Just because you weren’t an actual person doesn’t mean you weren’t a real friend.”

“So you still won’t forget me?”

“Never.”

“Good.”

The pair sat in silence for a while, watching the city below them continue at it’s normal pace.